What is the toxic form of flirting called "negging"?


The term "negging" has become quite popular in recent years, especially in the dating world. Negging is nothing more than a practice, in which emotional manipulation of one of the parties occurs, in order to destroy the self-esteem of the victim, and thus be able to obtain enormous control over them.

In the following article we are going to talk to you in more detail about negging and of the dangers and risks that it entails towards the victim and towards society in general.

What does neggging consist of?

Negging is a type of psychological manipulation that is expressed through negative or critical comments directed at another person, although formulated in a way that seems to consist of praise or constructive criticism. The aim and objective of neggging is none other than to achieve that the victim doubts his worth as a person and, as a result of this, seek the approval of the manipulator. This practice has become quite popular in the dating world, as a way to attract the other person.

What are the reasons or causes of neggging?

A person resorts to negging for a series of reasons or causes what we see below:

  • An evident low self-esteem and lack of confidence. The manipulator uses negging with the aim of feeling superior to the other person and controlling him when he considers it appropriate.
  • Negging is nothing more than a tool that the toxic person has to control the victim and thus achieve an emotional dependency.
  • Behind this practice there can be a series of cultural and social influences. Unfortunately, it must be said that there are many cultures that promote the idea that relationships should be based in totally unbalanced power dynamics.

neggging practice

The dangers and risks of neggging

Practicing neggging is going to lead toa series of dangers and risks For the person who suffers from it:

Psychological and emotional damage

Neggging can have quite negative consequences for the mental and emotional health of victims. Being constantly exposed to derogatory comments from your partner, can undermine self-esteem and self-confidence, leading to problems as serious as depression or anxiety. Victims may think that they are worthless as people, something that ends up having a negative impact on various areas of life such as relationships or the world of work.

Toxic relationships

Relationships in which neggging is present They are usually toxic and unbalanced. The person who practices negging seeks total control of the victim, giving rise to emotional abuse. The victim, in order to obtain the approval of her partner, becomes totally submissive as well as dependent, giving rise to the aforementioned abuse.

Normalized abuse

One of the most dangerous elements of negging is due to the fact that it normalizes behaviors that are abusive and not recommended. In this type of practice, one ends up accepting that it is totally legal to belittle the victim in order to obtain control over them. This is going to cause it to end for perpetuating emotional abuse and that there is no type of respect within the relationship.


Signs that help identify neggging

Being able to identify a practice such as neggging can be quite complicated and difficult, Although there are a series of signs that are quite clear and evident:

  • Comments from the partner that make the victim feel very insecure, Even though at first glance constructive comments may seem flattering.
  • The victim realizes that a pattern is repeating itself when it comes to comments from the partner. These types of comments have the objective of belittling the person who suffers the neggging.
  • Praise is quite common in this type of practice, although it occurs before of a contempt or a derogatory comment.

How to avoid neggging

There's a Serie of guidelines or recommendations that can help the victim cope with neggging:

  • The first step to be able to deal with neggging is to recognize it in a clear and open way. You have to be aware and understand that these types of comments are designed with the objective of manipulating the couple and to undermine confidence and self-esteem.
  • These kinds of comments cannot and should not be accepted. That is why it is advisable to establish a series of clear boundaries within the couple that cannot be transferred.
  • It is good and advisable to talk with friends, family or a professional to get outside help and reinforce lost self-esteem and confidence.
  • In the event that the negating continues, it is important to end it as soon as possible with this toxic and unbalanced relationship.

In short, negging is a practice that uses emotional manipulation to control the victim. Neggging can have serious consequences for the mental and emotional health of people who suffer from it. Although in the vast majority of cases negging is disguised as flattery, this dangerous practice will gradually undermine self-esteem, creating Toxic and unbalanced power dynamics in relationships. This is why it is key to recognize and counteract negating, in order to avoid emotional abuse and foster relationships that are based on balance and respect between the parties.

The key to ending neggging lies in education and awareness among society. If what neggging is is understood much better, people will be better prepared when it comes to combating these toxic and ill-advised relationships. We must therefore promote a culture of respect and mutual support to be able to build healthy relationships.

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