"Akukho nto ikhululeke ngakumbi kunengcinga yomntu." UDavid hume
Bangaphi kuthi abangazange babenazo izihlobo zokucinga ebuntwaneni? Amaxesha amaninzi siye sazibuza ukuba ingaba le yinto eqhelekileyo na okanye iyakhathaza? Ngaba oko kuthetha ukuba umntwana unengxaki ekunxibelelaneni nabanye?
Kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana babe nezihlobo ezingabonakaliyo, Banokuba ngabantu, izilwanyana okanye izidalwa ezingamampunge kwaye zihlala zenziwa ngokusekwe kwisini sabo, zihlala zingamantombazana zenza izihlobo zabafazi kunye namakhwenkwe eyindoda.
Abantwana banokuchaza ngokulula ukuba bajongeka kanjani abahlobo babo abangabonakaliyo, badala kangakanani, ziimpawu zabo kwaye baziphatha njani, banokude babalise amava okanye amabali abakhe bahlala nawo.
Into yokuba abantwana banamaqabane angabonakaliyo ayifanelanga ukubonakala iphazamisa kuthi, kuba nangona abantwana bezicingela ezi zinto ngokucacileyo, ngokophando olwenziwe nguTaylor noMottweiler, banokuqonda okucacileyo ukuba abahlobo babo abazicingelayo abakho, ukuba bayintelekelelo. Kolu phando bakwatsho ukuba kunjalo usempilweni ekukhuleni kwabantwana unamaqabane angabonakaliyo kwaye ayifanelanga ukuba iqondwe njengento enesifo okanye ekhathazayo.
Kutheni kusenziwa izihlobo ezingabonakaliyo?
Ngokwenqaku lika-2004 likaTaylor M kwiPsychology yoPhuhliso, I-65% yabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka esi-7 banazo okanye banabahlobo ocinga nabo ngexesha elithile ebomini babo. Aba bahlobo bacingayo banokuba nabo abantwana uUmsebenzi wentuthuzelo, xa behlelwa ziimeko ezinzima, ubanceda ukuba bajongane namaxesha anzima okanye uloyiko lwaboKuba umntwana xa enxibelelana angenza iprojekthi kumhlobo wakhe wentelekelelo uninzi lwezinto ezimkhathazayo kwaye ke aziveze, uziva ekhatshwa xa ehamba neemeko ezoyikayo ukudlula yedwa, oku kwiimeko ezininzi kubanika amandla ngakumbi ukoyisa umothuko iziganeko.
Omnye umsebenzi obalulekileyo wabahlobo bokucinga ngulowo wonxibelelwano, ukusukela umntwana uqhelisela iindlela zakhe zokunxibelelana nabanye abantu, zokufunda ukuthetha ngokucacileyo, ukuveza izimvo zakhe, ukutshintshana, ukuyila imidlalo kunye nokoyisa ungquzulwano ngokuhlala neqabane lakhe eliyintsomi.
UGqr Karen Majors wathetha kwiNkomfa yoNyaka ka-2013 yoLwahlulo lwezeMfundo kunye noMntwana weBritish Psychological Society malunga nezibonelelo zokuba nomhlobo ozicingelayo, ithi le nto ivuselela kwaye isebenzise ukucinga kwabantwana kunye nokuyila, iyabanceda bahlule phakathi kwefantasy kunye nenyani, ivuselele intetho yabucala, ibancede balawule indlela abaziphethe ngayo, iququzelele ubuqabane, ubuchule ekudaleni amabali kwaye bafunde ukumelana neziganeko zobomi obutsha.
Unokwenza ntoni ngomntwana onamaqabane acingelayo?
Kubalulekile ukuba ungababuzi ngokungqongqo abantwana ngobukho beqabane labo lokucinga, kuba ngaphakathi ezantsi bayazi ukuba abayinyaniAkufuneki sibanyelise okanye sibakhanyele, oku kuya kuthintela ukucinga kwabo kwaye abantwana banokuziva bekhathazekile.
Kufuneka silumke singavumeli abantwana ukuba baluphephe uxanduva lokucinga ngeempazamo zabo ngokubabeka kubahlobo babo bokucinga (Khange ndiyophule isitya, umhlobo wam wayophula ...), kwezi meko, Ukuba umntwana akalamkeli ityala lakhe, singamxelela ukuba axolise kuye nakumhlobo wakhe kwaye bobabini mabaphakamise isitya esaphukileyo.
Ukujongwa kuhlala kuluncedo kakhulu, ngalo sinokufumanisa ukuba abantwana batyhila izinto abangenakuzithetha ngomnxeba nomhlobo wabo wentelekelelo. Ukongeza, inyani yokuba banokuphucula ubuchule babo iya kuba luncedo njengesixhobo sokujongana neentlobo ezahlukeneyo zeengxaki.
Kuya kufuneka sihloniphe indawo yabantwana ukuba babe namaqabane abo angabonakaliyo kwaye siza kudlala kwezi kuphela ukuba abantwana bayasicela, akufuneki siphazamisane kakhulu nokubavumela ukuba babenolawulo, njengoko ingumnqweno wabo.
Masikhumbule ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye isempilweni kumanqanaba obuntwana ukwenza la maqabane angabonakaliyo, akufuneki sisoyike okanye sicinge ukuba yinto exhalabisayo, kodwa kufuneka sibamkele abantwana, sibahloniphe, kwaye sibavumele bazigcine bezilawula. .
Enkosi kakhulu ii-Dolores, ngokwabelana ngolu lwazi luxabisekileyo, eneneni ndacinga ngenye indlela, ndaye ndacinga ukuba ngumsebenzi wethu ukubethelela abantwana bethu abangaphantsi kweminyaka esi-7 ubudala, ukuyeka ukuba nabahlobo abanjalo.
Kuyaqondakala ukuba abantwana bayabagcina aba bahlobo, ukuze bafunde ukunxibelelana nabanye abantu, ndicinga ukuba ngelixa bohlula inyani kwintelekelelo.