Iingxaki zobudlelwane ziyavela ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi, kwaye kukuhamba kwexesha akunakuthinteleka ukuba kubekho iiyantlukwano ezincinci ezinokubangela ukuba singene kwimpikiswano, yiyo loo nto ekugqibeleni ingxabano iphela. Kuxhomekeke kwindlela esiyilawula ngayo, siya kufumana isisombululo esingcono okanye esibi. Ngenxa yeso sizathu siza kukunika iingcebiso ezithile Sombulula iingxaki zobudlelwane esinokuzama naye ukukunceda uphume kulo naluphi na uhlobo lweemeko zale ndlela ozifumana ukuyo.
Izizathu eziphambili zokuvela kweengxaki zobudlelwane
Ngokwenyani zininzi izizathu zokuba kutheni iingxaki zinokuvela phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo, kwaye loo nto kufuneka siyiqonde into yokuba isibini ngasinye sililizwe, ke ngoko akukho sigqibo okanye ithiyori ngqo enokufunyanwa malunga noku.
Nangona kunjalo, zikho izizathu esinokuthi sizithathele ingqalelo njengesiqhelo okanye njengesiqhelo kwiimeko ezininzi, ezinje ngeengxaki ezivela kubantu besithathu, kwaye ngale ndlela kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba umntu wesithathu abengomnye wosapho.
Zininzi iingxaki ezivela kwizigqibo ezenziwa ngokudibeneyo malunga nokujongana nabantu bosapho okanye nangaphandle kwayo, kodwa kufuneka ikhunjulwe into yokuba kukho ezinye izizathu eziqhelekileyo ezinje ngokuba imeko Ijijekile ngezinye iingxaki, phakathi kwazo sinokuqaqambisa izifo.
Nangona kubonakala ngathi akukho ngqiqweni, inyani kukuba zininzi izifo ezinokuphela zibangela iingxaki kwisibini, ngendlela efanayo nezinye izinto ezinjengokungabikho emsebenzini okanye ukungabi namali yaneleyo zichaphazela ubudlelwane obubi kakhulu.
Kodwa kukho isizathu esinokuthi siqwalasele njengoyena nobangela uphambili wale meko, eyinyani yokuba iminyaka iyahamba, kwaye ekugqibeleni ubukhosi buphela busifunxa, ngendlela yokuba iingxaki ezincinci ziqale ukuvela ukuba, zijolise kakuhle, Akukho mfuneko yokuba benzakalise, kodwa ukuba siyaziyeka ziqokelelene, ekugqibeleni sifumanisa ukuba ziludonga olululo phakathi kwethu.
Ukusuka kwindlela esilungiselela ngayo iholide, ukuphuma okanye ukuhlala ekhaya, ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye okanye ukuhlonipha ubumfihlo babanye, abo bantu abangalungelanga omnye nomnye wethu, imisebenzi ethe yasizala, njl.
Ngamafutshane, zininzi izizathu ezibangela ukuba ezi ngxaki zenzeke, ukuba akukho sibini kungakhange kudlule kuzo, kwaye ngendlela efanayo sikukhumbuza ukuba zonke izibini zifikelela kwixesha apho kufuneka woyise ingxaki enkulu oko kuhlala kuqala kwingxaki engekho nzulu kangako. Le yindawo yokujika apho, ukuba asinako ukuyoyisa, ubudlelwane buya kuqhawuka ngokupheleleyo, kodwa ukuba siyakwenza oko, buya buqina kangangokuba buze bungaze buphele buqhekeka.
Ngesi sizathu, sele uyazi ukuba, kule minyaka idlulileyo, kuyakufuneka ujongane nenye okanye ezingaphezulu kwezi ngxaki, ke kulungile ukuba ufunde uthotho lwamaqhinga okusombulula iingxaki zobudlelwane ngenjongo yokwenza ukuba ingxaki ibe ncinane kunokwenzeka kwaye, ewe, sinokuvela siphumelele kuyo.
Amaqhinga okusombulula iingxaki zobudlelwane
Kukho amaqhinga ahlukeneyo esinokuthi sikwazi ukusombulula le meko. Siyakukhumbuza ukuba kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ugcine engqondweni ukuba, kuxhomekeke kubudlelwane nganye, amaqhinga esiya kuwo ngeenkcukacha apha ngezantsi aya kulungiswa kwinqanaba elingcono okanye elibi, ukuze, ngokusekwe kwiingxaki ezivele phakathi wena, sikucebisa ukuba uhambe uzithathela ingqalelo zonke kwaye ukhethe ngaphezulu kwabo bonke ocinga ukuba kunokuba luncedo kakhulu kubudlelwane bakho.
Monotony, enye yeengxaki eziphambili
Akungabazeki ukuba i-monotony yenye yeengxaki eziphambili ezinokuthi zenzeke kwisibini, ngoko ke apha apha siza kuhlasela ngeziphumo ezilungileyo.
Ukwaphula isoyolo kuya kuba yeyona njongo yethu iphambili, kwaye ngokwenza oku siza kuhlaziya ezo mvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo esasiphila kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, apho udonga luya kuwa phantsi kobunzima balo.
Umbono iya kuba kukutshintsha ngokupheleleyo inkqubo yemihla ngemihla, kodwa ngokucacileyo kufuneka sijongane nothotho lweembopheleleko esingenako ukungahoyi. Nangona kunjalo, sinokuhlalutya ukubanakho ukuzitshintsha kancinci kwaye, ewe, kuya kufuneka sigxile kwixesha lasimahla ngendlela efanelekileyo.
Kuya kufuneka simamele iqabane lethu ukuze sazi ukuba lifuna ukwenzani, okanye sinokumothusa nje ngesipho esihambelana nomsebenzi owawukhe wakwenza ngaphambili kwaye wakuzalisa, kuba injongo yayo ikukuqala ukutshintsha indlela uyabuphucula ubomi bakho, obungazukusixhamlisa njengesibini nje kuphela, kodwa unenzuzo ebalulekileyo yomntu ngamnye.
Gcina ukhumbula ukuba ngokubanzi singatshintsha inkqubo ngokwandisa umsebenziKuba ukuhlala phantsi yinto ethi kuthi ngokomgaqo ngokubanzi isilandele ngokuzenzekelayo kule minyaka idlulileyo, ke kuya kufuneka sikwenze umzamo omncinci wokuphinda senze imisebenzi kwaye siyenze nomntu esimthandayo.
Injongo kukuba nichitha ixesha kunye nisenza izinto enizithandayo nobabini, apho uya kubona ukuba izinto zisonjululwe ngcono kunokuba kunokuba kubonakala ekuqaleni.
Utshintsho lwemeko kunye nokuvuselela ubudlelwane bakho
Ukophula i-monotony yenye yeengcebiso ezilungileyo esinokukunika zona, kodwa sifuna ukuya phambili kwaye sikukhuthaze ukuba utshintshe imeko yakho ngandlela zonke.
Oko kukuthi, ukuba uqinisekile ukuba ufuna ukuqhubeka kunye kunye noxanduva okanye imeko ayikuvumeli ukuba uphule ngokupheleleyo isoyolo, ukhetho olulungileyo kukuyeka ukuphuma kwiindawo ophuma kuzo kwaye uqale ukutshintsha nayiphi na indawo oya kuyo, kodwa Ewe sizokuhamba imayile ethe xaxa kwaye sihambe, nokuba sisigxina okanye okwethutyana.
Le yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokutshintsha ngokupheleleyo esiqhelo, ukuze siqale iprojekthi entsha phakathi kwethu sobabini eya kuthi isinike amandla amaninzi kwaye izakusikhumbuza ngezo mvakalelo singekabinamava kuzo ixesha elide.
Buyela ekubeni neenkcukacha kunye neqabane lakho
Ngokuhamba kwexesha siphulukana nomkhwa wokuba neenkcukacha neqabane lethu, kwaye loo nto isenza ukuba sizive sisodwa. Khumbula uvuyo olwamnika lona xa wawumnika ezo nkcukacha zincinci, kwaye ucinge ukuba zininzi izinto abasazithandayo kodwa athe wagqibela ukulibala kuba wazishiya ngaphambili.
Ukusuka ekunikezeni intyatyambo elula okanye isipha okanye iteddy, iholide, ukubaleka kancinci, okanye ngokubanzi naluphi na uhlobo lweenkcukacha, ngokuqinisekileyo iya kuba sisenzo esiza kubuphucula kakhulu ubudlelwane bakho, kodwa ngenxa yoku kubalulekile ukuba uhlale Yazi ukuba isipho simele ukuba singalindelwanga, oko kukuthi, akufuneki silinde umbhiyozo, umhla wokuzalwa, njl. kodwa ngalo naluphi na usuku olunikeziweyo kufuneka uzibonakalise naloo nto incinci omnye komnye kungekudala. kungabonakala ngathi.
Lixesha lokuba uphinde usebenze unxibelelwano
Ubudlelwane buye buphulwe kukungabikho konxibelelwano. Unxibelelwano phakathi kwesibini kubalulekile, kuba kungenjalo ngekhe sazi eyona nto yenzekayo, okanye indlela omnye umntu aziva ngayo.
Ngonxibelelwano siya kufumana ulwazi oluxabisekileyo esinokuthi sisebenzisane nalo ukuze siqhubeke nokugcina loo ntlantsi kunye nomlingo osoloko usiphawula.
Ngale ndlela, kufuneka sinyaniseke kwiqabane lethu, kodwa khumbula ukuba kufuneka sikwenze ngokwembono yento esivakalelwa ngayo ngaye, oko kukuthi, akufuneki sithathwe ziimvakalelo esinazo ngalo mzuzu apho ingxaki Sele ikhona phakathi kwethu, Endaweni yoko, kufuneka siyeke, siphefumle kwaye siqale ukucinga njengoko besizakuba neeveki ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuba yonke le nto iqhume.
Ngenxa yeso sizathu kubaluleke kakhulu ukusebenza unxibelelwano ngalo lonke ixesha, kuba ngale ndlela asizukuthintela kuphela ukufikelela kolu hlobo lweengxaki kunye nobudlelwane, kodwa, kwimeko apho singadibana nabo, kuyakubakho amathuba okusombulula ngesiphumo esihle kunye nokuhlaziya uthando lwethu kwakhona, phakathi kwezinye izinto kuba sele sizokucacisa izizathu zokuba zenzekile.
Ukuba kukho imfuneko, thatha ixesha lokucingisisa
Kwaye ukuba emva kokusebenzisa onke amaqhinga angaphambili siyabona ukuba le nto ayisombululeki ngokupheleleyo, mhlawumbi lixesha lokuba uthathe ixesha lokucingisisa, ekuyinto ebalulekileyo ukuba sahlule ixesha lokucinga ngokwethu malunga nendlela esivakalelwa ngayo Obo budlelwane.
Oku akuthethi ukuba wonke umntu uhamba eyakhe indlela ukuya ethekweni kunye nabahlobo, kodwa kufanele ukuba ibe lixesha lokucamngca ngaphandle kokuziva uxinzelelo lwesi sibini kuthi, kwaye ngaphezulu kwako konke ngamava esiya kuthi siqonde ukuba siyafuna ngokwenene ukuqhubeka naloo mntu kwaye siyabakhumbula ngexesha lokungabikho kwabo, okanye ngokuchaseneyo, sele beyekile ukubonisa ukuba bathetha ntoni kuthi.
Nokuba sithatha siphi isigqibo, into ebalulekileyo kukuba usenze ngesazela kwaye uzifunde zonke ezi ngcebiso sikunika zona ukusombulula iingxaki zobudlelane esiqiniseke ngokupheleleyo ukuba, ukuba uzilandela ngentliziyo yakho nangokukhohlisa kokuhamba phambili Uyakudlula kule bump kwaye, njengoko besesikuxelele ekuqaleni, ubudlelwane bakho buya kuba bomelele ngakumbi kwaye bomelele, obuya kuphucuka ngokubonakalayo ukusukela ngoku.
Ndivumele ndishiye le ngcaciso, uJosé Miguel, ndiyifumene iyindlela etyebisa kakhulu.
Kutheni iinkcukacha zibalulekile?
Bonke ubudlelwane, okanye ubuninzi ubuninzi, bazalwa benomtsalane, umntu uyabonwa, oku kwenza umbono olungileyo, omnandi kuthi, osivumela ukuba sicinge ngamathuba okuseka ubudlelwane njengesibini.
Ukusuka kule nkqubo yomtsalane, abantu bazivulela ukuba babenakho ukuseka inkqubo yokuhlangana kwakhona, elayishwe ngeendlela ezininzi zentlalo:
• Iifowuni ziyaqala.
Ukuphuma kwekofu okanye kwiimuvi kulungelelaniswe.
• Bayathetha ekuqaleni nasekupheleni kosuku.
• Ulwimi olusebenzayo olusebenzayo luphuhliswa.
• Kukho ukusondela okukhulu.
Izithuba ziyavulwa ukuze zidibane nosapho lomnye nomnye.
• Kukho amakhulu emiyalezo.
Uluhlu lukhulu kakhulu, ukuba oku kwenzeka ngokuthe ngcembe, inqanaba lomdla kunye nolwalamano olusondeleyo luyakhula, yonke into iqala ngolu hlobo, kweli nqanaba lokuqala, ukongeza, ingxelo eqhubekayo yeenkcukacha ziyinxalenye yale nkqubo yokuqala, eyona njongo yayo iphambili kukwenza Umfazi waziva ethanda umntu, impilo-ntle, enxibelelana ndiyakuthanda kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba ndiyakuthanda.
Amakhadi, imiyalezo ebhaliweyo, iintyatyambo, iitshokholethi, izilwanyana ezifakiweyo, iincwadi ziyavela, njengoko esi sibini sazana, iinkcukacha zenziwe zaba zezakho, kuba sifunda ukwazi incasa kunye nokukhethwa komnye umntu, zonke iinkcukacha ziba kwi "I ndinake wena ", kwi" Ndiyakuthanda ", kwi" apha ndilapha "kwi" ndibone nawe ".
Okulusizi emva kweli nqanaba, nje ukuba ubudlelwane busekiwe, kukho utyekelo olomeleleyo lwesiqhelo lokusibamba, kwaye sishiya iinkcukacha ngasemva. Lumka! Iinkcukacha zibaluleke kakhulu ekubonakaliseni uthando, ngoku kutheni ndibalulekile? Ilula kakhulu:
• Babonisa umdla.
• Omnye umntu wenziwa ukuba azive ukuba bakho kubomi bethu bemihla ngemihla.
• Ziluphawu lokuba siya simazi ngcono omnye umntu.
• Iinkcukacha zisenza isibini sibone ukuba sitshatile.
• Babonisa ukuba ndiyakuthanda, ndiyakuthanda, bavakalise ukuba ndilapha kwaye siya phambili.
Bavakalisa ukuzibophelela, ukuthembana, kunye nokuvuleka ekwakheni ubudlelwane.
Kodwa, xa ezi zinto ziphela, ngelishwa umyalezo uchasene:
• Izimvo neemvakalelo zivela zibuze umbuzo kwiziseko zolwalamano.
• Ukunyanzeliswa kuyondliwa.
Inokwenzeka into yokuba ukwaphuka kwentliziyo kuqala ukuba yinxalenye yale nkqubo yobudlelwane.
Iinkcukacha ziyisampulu esebenzayo yokwakha ubudlelwane:
• Zenza ukuba umntu akwazi ukugcina inkuthazo esebenzayo.
• Bathanda ukuba nothando olunamandla, ukungafihli nto.
Kodwa xa isiya kubutyebi beenkcukacha, kukungabikho kwazo, umyalezo wahluke ngokupheleleyo:
• Kuvela iziporho.
• Imibuzo.
• Ukucaphuka kusithathela indawo.
• Ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha ayiguqulwanga, iimfesane zovakalelo zinokuthatha ubudlelwane.
Imiboniso yothando kufuneka ihlale ihleli kwaye rhoqo, yonke imihla, musa ukulinda imihla ekhethekileyo okanye amaxesha awodwa, ewe ezi zibalulekile, kodwa iinkcukacha zibonakalisa ukhetho olufanelekileyo kwaye zomeleza inkuthazo yokuba kunye. Awungekhe uzityeshele ezi ziboniso zothando, njengoko zinika intsingiselo kunye nomxholo kulwalamano.
Ngaba uyasebenza kule nkqubo?
Ngaba unomdla kwinto ebalulekileyo kwiqabane lakho?
Ngaba nicacile malunga nokubaluleka kweenkcukacha ebomini benu njengesibini?
Ngaba uzihoyile iinkcukacha kubudlelwane bakho?
Yijonge kwakhona, kwaye ukuba kunjalo, ukuba balahlekile kuwe, eli binzana ngeenkcukacha lifuna ukuvuselelwa ngokweemvakalelo, ngoku lixesha lokuba ubuyele kulo, kwaye wenze ngoku, kuba ukwaphuka kwentliziyo kubonakala xa uyeka ukusebenza kulwakhiwo oluqinisekileyo yothando.