Incwadi entsha ye I-Murray straus, Umsunguli kunye nomphathi-co-director weLebhu yoPhando ngezeNtsapho kunye noprofesa ovela kwezentlalo kwiYunivesithi yaseNew Hampshire, udibanisa ngaphezulu amashumi amane eminyaka yophando ekuthiwa yibetha iesile. Izigqibo zezifundo zabo kukuba olu hlobo lwesohlwayo lucothisa ukukhula kwengqondo, lwonyusa isimilo sokuziphatha kakubi kunye nokuziphatha kolwaphulo-mthetho.
UStraus ubhale Ubundlobongela obuPhambili ('Ubundlobongela obuPhambili') kwaye kuyo usibonisa izizathu zokuba kutheni abazali bebetha abo babathandayo. Ezi zizathu zibandakanya okungaphezulu kokulungisa nje ukungaziphathi kakuhle. Unika ubungqina besiphumo sokubethwa ebantwaneni kwaye yintoni enokwenziwa ukuphelisa olu hlobo lwezohlwayo.
Iimpawu zencwadi idatha ye-longitudinal evela ngaphezulu kweentsapho ezingama-7000 e-US kunye neziphumo zophando kumazwe angama-32. Isibonisa inqanaba apho ukubetha ngempundu kusetyenziswa khona kwiinkcubeko ezahlukeneyo kunye neziphumo ezilandelayo zokusetyenziswa kwazo ebantwaneni nakuluntu.
UStraus uthi oku kulandelayo: Uphando lubonisa ukuba ukubetha kulungisa ukungaziphathi kakuhle. Kodwa zikwabonisa ukuba ukubetha akusebenzi ngcono kunenye yeendlela zokulungisa, njengokuhlutha amalungelo amalungelo umntwana. Ngapha koko, uphando lubonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba Izibonelelo zokubetha ngebhanti ziza ngexabiso elikhulu. Bacinga ukwehla kobudlelwane phakathi kwabazali nabantwana kunye nokwanda kwamathuba okuba umntwana asebenzise ubundlobongela kwabanye (ofunda nabo, abazali, abanye abantu abadala okanye amaqabane). Ukongeza, ukubetha impundu kunciphisa ukukhula kwengqondo kwaye kunciphisa amathuba okuba umntwana asigqibe isikolo kakuhle. "
«Izifundo ezingaphezulu kwe-100 ziye zaneenkcukacha zeziphumo ebezingalindelekanga zokubethwa ngeqondo lesivumelwano se-90%. Ngokuqinisekileyo awukho omnye umba wokuba ngumzali kunye nokuziphatha komntwana apho iziphumo zingaguquguqukiyo »uthi.
Incwadi ixhasa utshintsho kumgaqo-nkqubo oko kunokubangela ukuyeka ngokupheleleyo ukubethwa kwiesile. Unokusebenzisa zonke iintlobo zentengiso apho uqaphela ukuba olu hlobo lwezohlwayo alulunganga. Oku kufuneka kukhatshwe yimigaqo-nkqubo yokunceda abazali abaneengxaki nabantwana babo.
I-Straus ine Isiphakamiso semibhiyozo efana nokuzalwa okanye iKrisimesi: «Ukuba ufuna isipho esonyusa amathuba okuba umntwana wakho abenobomi obonwabileyo nobusempilweni kwaye oko kubandakanya amathuba amaninzi okuba baya kufumana umsebenzi olungileyo kwaye babe nomtshato ongenabo ubundlobongela, Yenza ukuzibophelela kubantwana bakho ukuba ungaze uphinde ubabethe. Banokwandisa intlonipho nothando lwakho kuwe, kwaye baqinisekile ukukunceda ugcine isithembiso sakho. "
«Ngaphezulu kwamazwe angama-20 athintela ukubethwa esileni. Kukho imvumelwano evelayo yokuba eli lilungelo lomntu elisisiseko ebantwaneni. IZizwe eziManyeneyo zibiza zonke izizwe ukuba zithintele olu hlobo lwesohlwayo. Ukubaphepha akuyi kunciphisa kuphela umngcipheko wolwaphulo-mthetho kunye neengxaki zempilo yengqondo, kodwa kuyakwazisa abantwana nelungelo lokukhululeka kuhlaselo lomzimba egameni lokuziphatha kakuhle. ' utsho uStraus.
Ngokuthathwa ngokubanzi njengomphengululi ophambili kwicandelo lakhe, uStraus uye wafunda ukubetha iesile Iisampulu ezinkulu kunye nabameli babazali baseMelika ukusukela ngo-1969. Ufumene iimbasa ezininzi kunye namabhaso kuphando lwakhe.
thandaza bendingazi ukuba akulunganga ukubabetha emsileni