Kwabanye abantu, ukusasazeka yindlela yokungahloniphi abo baphambi kwabo. Yindlela amadoda ahlala ngayo imilenze isasazekile kwaye ezinye, ayinyamezeleki. Kwabanye, sisikhundla ngaphandle kokungakumbi. Into ecacileyo yeyokuba ukusasazeka kwenkunkuma kudala ingxabano kwaye kubalulekile ukuba uyiqonde into eyiyo kwaye kutheni isenzeka ...
Kwakukho ngo-2014 xa eli gama lathi lathandwa, kodwa le ngxaki yaziwa kangangeminyaka ethile, apho kubonakala ngathi amadoda ahlala kwindawo engaphezulu kuneyimfuneko ukuhlala, ngakumbi kwizithuthi zikawonke-wonke ukusasaza okanye ukolula imilenze kakhulu. Oku kuziphatha kuxoxwa ngako ngakumbi nangakumbi, kwaye kubonakala ngathi kuyingqondo eqhelekileyo ukuba ukuba kukho indawo encinci kwaye kukho abantu ababini ekufuneka behleli phantsi, kufuneka uqokelele kancinci ukuze wonke umntu alingane. Ke, Yintoni ephezulu ngokusasazeka kwaye kutheni ibangela isiphithiphithi?
Ngaba ngokwenene yingxaki?
Kweminye, ithathwa njengengxaki, ngakumbi koololiwe okanye kwindlela ehamba ngaphantsi komhlaba. Kubonakala ngathi ngaphezulu kancinci kwisithathu sabantu besilisa abasasazekayo kuloliwe ongaphantsi xa behleli phantsi… bengaqondanga. Abayenzi njengokucaphukisa kwaye abafuni ukubacaphukisa abanye abakhweli kwizithuthi zikawonkewonke. Ukongeza, kukho iipesenti ezi-5 zabasetyhini abavakalelwa ngaloo ndlela kwaye abayenzi 'ukukhubekisa' abantu abangamadoda. Le yindlela nje yokuhlala.
Kuyinyani, ukuba xa kukho umgibeli ohleli enemilenze eyoluliweyo kungekho abanye abakhweli kwaye xa abanye abakhweli behleli ecaleni kwakhe abalungisi ukuma kwabo nangona imoto igcwele ngabantu, ukungabikho kwembeko kunye nemfundo esisiseko kwabanye.
Kukho isifundo esibonisa ukuba amadoda anethuba lokusasazeka aphakathi kweminyaka engama-30 ukuya kuma-49 ubudala. Kubudala obudala ipesenti ibhetele kwaye kumaqela ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-50 iye yehla nangakumbi.
Okwangoku bekukho amaphulo okuzama ukushenxisa ngokupheleleyo le ndlela yokuziphatha okanye ukuma komzimba xa uhleli kwiindawo zikawonke-wonke, kodwa kubonakala ngathi oku khange kube luncedo kangako. Kukho amadoda (nabafazi) abahleli bewela ekusasazeni.
Kutheni kusenzeka
Kukho abo bachaza ukuba ukusasazeka kwelungelo lilungelo eligcinelwe amadoda kuba befuna indawo engaphezulu kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo, becinga ngokonwaba kwabo kwaye beshiya impilo yabanye. Ngokufanelekileyo, Babhenela kwinto yokuba abantu abenza olu hlobo lokuma xa behleli kwiindawo zikawonke-wonke bayazingca kwaye abafundanga kakuhle.
Ngokutsho kwabanye, indlela yokubonisa amandla abo kwabanye, ngokombono wobufazi, yindlela yokudibanisa isikhundla kunye nobukhoboka, indlela yokuhlala kwindawo enkulu ukuba uzive umdala kwaye umkhulu kunabanye, indlela yokuba ngaphezulu kwabanye kwaye oko kukuvumela ukuba uzive ukhululekile.
Abanye bathi kwamanye amadoda ahleli nemilenze ivaliwe kunokuba buhlungu ngenxa ye-physiognomy yamadoda. Kukwakho nabaphandi abenza kucace ukuba amadoda ahlala rhoqo kunjeya kuba amagxa awo abanzi kunesinqe xa kuthelekiswa nabasetyhini, loo ndlela yokuhlala iphuma phantse ngokwendalo kwaye ayithandi nantoni na engaphakathi ekufuneka uyibonile ngamandla okanye ngokungeniswa abanye besiya kubo. Oku kuthetha ukuba isithuba esishiyekileyo phakathi kwamadolo sihambelana nendawo emalunga phakathi kwamagxa ukuze i-engile ibanzi.
Kananjalo, ngokuvula imilenze, bathabatha indawo encinci enqwelweni ukuze umphambili ukhululeke ukushukuma kunokuba bebeyishiya imilenze ingqamene ngaphambili, ehlala indawo ethe xhaxhe kwaye iphazamise abakhweli xa bedlula.
Mhlawumbi yinto ethe kratya kwinkcubeko?
Ngokwenene akukho sizathu sicacileyo sichaza ubume bokusasazeka, yinto eyenzekayo neqhubeka isenzeka kuba ikho. Ikho kubomi bemihla ngemihla yakhe nabani na osebenzisa izithuthi zikawonke-wonke okanye ohleli kufutshane nabanye abantu kwiindawo zikawonke-wonke. Isikhundla ngokubanzi kumadoda nangona singasetyenziswanga ngamadoda ali-100% ngalo lonke ixesha, kuqhelekile.
Okwangoku ayaziwa ukuba inemvelaphi yebhayiloji okanye ngokuchaseneyo yinto yenkcubeko. Into eqinisekileyo kukuba le meko ayiyi kuqatshelwa kwaye ngenxa yesi sizathu, kukho abantu kunye nabaphandi abafunda isizathu sale nto ukuze bafumane iimpendulo. Ngokunokwenzeka inento eninzi yokwenza nemfuza kunye neepateni zenkcubeko eziqheleke ngokuhamba kwexesha.
Kuyo nayiphi na imeko, into ecacileyo yeyokuba ukuhlala nemilenze ivuliwe okanye kuvaliwe kwizithuthi zikawonke-wonke, ngaphezulu kwenkcubeko okanye yendalo, kuya kuxhomekeka emntwini omnye kwaye akukho sizathu sokuba indoda ehleli nolo hlobo ifuna ukuvusa umsindo akukho mntu. Into engenakuthetheleleka ziintshukumo ezinkulu okanye imikhankaso yokulwa nale nto inochuku kwaye inembeko encinci kwabo baziva ngoluhlobo, ngaphandle kokwazi ukuba ngokuma kwabo babangela naluphi na uhlobo lomsindo kumaqela amancinci.
Ukutshiza amanzi okanye iblitshi kwiibhulukhwe zamadoda kuphela njengendlela yokungoneliseki yindlela omi ngayo akuyomfuneko kwaye kunokuthiwa ngandlel 'ithile kuyindlela enobundlongondlongo kwindlela yokuziphatha okungafunekiyo. Kuyimfuneko ukuvelisa ulwazi malunga noku kwaye ubenakho ukuqonda ukuba indawo xa ikhathaza omnye kufuneka ilungisiwe, kodwa ngaphandle kokufuna ukusebenzisa ubundlobongela. Imalunga nemfundo kunye nokuhlalisana ngokusekwe kwintlonipho omnye komnye, ngaphandle kwesini ... Ukuba wolula imilenze yakho engaphantsi komhlaba kwaye bayabakhathaza abanye abahambi, lungisa ukuma kwakho kwaye kuphelele apho.