Xa isibini sihlangene okanye sitshata kwaye siqala ubomi emtshatweni, Into yokugqibela abayifunayo kukuba olo thando luziva lunzulu ukuba luphele. Kodwa ayilulo lonke ubudlelwane obuphilileyo, abanye baba yityhefu, abanye bayaphuka, abanye abaphuli kodwa kufana nokuba baphefumla ityhefu ecaleni komnye ... Zininzi iimeko apho iincwadi zezibini ezitshatileyo kunye nemitshato zisisisombululo ukuba zithatha amagama ngokungathí sina.
Izibini ezininzi ziyaqhekeka kwaye bezinokuphumelela ukuba ziye kunyango ukusombulula iiyantlukwano zazo okanye ukubanakho ukuzisebenzela ngokwakho ukuphucula oko kungqongileyo. Nangona ingenguye wonke umntu ene-solvency yemali yokuhlawulela unyango kwaye nangona ingeyonxalenye, Iincwadi ezenzelwe izibini kunye nemitshato zinokunceda kakhulu.
Iincwadi zabatshatileyo
Iincwadi zezibini ezitshatileyo kunye nemitshato zinokusindisa ubomi kubantu abaninzi, ukuba nje bakhetha eyiyo kwaye bayayazi indlela yokusebenzisa iingcebiso abazinika ubomi babo. Incwadi ihlala ifikeleleka kwiipokotho, ke kubalulekile ukuba abantu bayazi indlela yokukhetha kakuhle.
Okulandelayo siza kukuxelela ngezihloko ezithile zeencwadi ezilungele izibini kunye nemitshato kuba iya kubanceda baqonde uthando ngendlela esempilweni, engeyona ityhefu, kwaye bazi ukuba bafuna ntoni kwaye yintoni abayifunayo ebomini babo . Kwisibini kubalulekile ukusebenza kunxibelelwano, ukuzithemba, uvelwano kunye nokusombulula ungquzulwano.
Uthando olumnandi. Intliziyo nentloko: izitshixo zokwakha isibini esonwabileyo
Le ncwadi ibhalwe ngu-Enrique Rojas kwaye yincwadi emema izibini ukuba zifunde ukuthandana ngokukhalipha. Bathetha ngokuziphatha kunye nobuninzi bencwadi kukuba ukuze ube nomnye umntu, kufuneka uqale wazi ukuba unokuba kunye nawe. Oku kusikhumbuza intetho edumileyo: "Ukuthanda omnye umntu usempilweni, kufuneka uqale uzithande."
Uthando olukrelekrele lwenziwe yintliziyo, intloko nomoya. Uthando lukhula kuphela ukuba iinkcukacha ezincinci ziyakhathalelwa. Yincwadi entle echaza into ethethwa luthando lokwenene kwaye ikunika izitshixo zokuba neqabane elonwabileyo. Vula Amazon ungayifumana ngale nkcazo:
Uhlalutyo olunzulu lwengqondo olungena "kwigumbi lenjini" lokuziphatha kwaye lwenza indlela yalo phakathi kwezimvo kunye neengcinga, zikhokelwa ngumgaqo osisiseko: "ukuze ube nomntu kufuneka ube nawe kuqala."
Imigaqo esixhenxe yeGolide yokuPhila njengeSibini: Isifundo esiBanzi malunga nobudlelwane kunye nokuhlalisana
Ibhalwe nguJohn M. Gottman kunye noNan Silver. Zonke izibini zinokudlula kwingxaki, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ukwazi ukuphuma kuzo xa uthando lwabantu lusahleli. Akululanga ukuba nobudlelwane njengesibini, ukuhlala nomnye umntu ongenguye ovela kusapho lwakho ngqo kodwa osapho lwakho ngokuzikhethela akusoloko kulula. Ngale ndlela, le ncwadi ikunika izikhokelo ukuze isibini esisebunzimeni siphume kuyo kwaye sizive somelele ngakumbi kunangaphambili. Vula Amazon ungayifumana ngale nkcazo:
UGqirha Gottman ukuguqule kwakhona ukukhulelwa kwesi sibini emva kokwenza uphando lwenzululwazi olungazange lubonwe ngaphambili: iminyaka eliqela uye wafunda imikhwa yemitshato "kwilabhoratri yothando" kwaye ufumene impumelelo engama-91% kuqikelelo lwakhe malunga nekamva lezibini.
Le ncwadi sisiphelo somsebenzi wakhe, nesishwankathelwe kwimithetho esixhenxe yegolide yokufumana kwakhona okanye ukomeleza isibini esikwingxaki. Le mithetho ifundisa, ngokwenza imithambo kunye nokubuza imibuzo, iindlela ezintsha nezothusayo zokwenza ngokufanelekileyo kwesi sibini, sinika ingqalelo ekhethekileyo kwimizuzu emincinci yemihla ngemihla eyenza umphefumlo wolwalamano.
Uthando oluhle kwesi sibini
Ibhalwe nguJoan Garriga. Umntu ngamnye wahlukile kwaye umntu ngamnye une-idiosyncrasies yakhe. Kuyafana nakwababini, nganye lilizwe elakhiwe ngabantu ababini abohlukeneyo. Ke ngoko, izikhokelo ezisemgangathweni azisoloko zisebenza ngendlela efanayo nabantu, ngale ndlela ... kufuneka uyazi ukuba i-idiosyncrasy ngokwayo ingumlingo wabo nabuphi na ubudlelwane.
Le ncwadi ayenzelwanga ukuba ibe sisikhokelo sokufundisa izibini ezitshatileyo, zikunceda nje ukuba uqonde ukuba zeziphi izithako eziququzelela okanye ezithintela ulwalamano oluhle. Vula Amazon ungayifumana ngale nkcazo:
Le ayisiyoncwadi malunga nento oyenzayo okanye ongayenziyo kubudlelwane. Ayithethi ngeemodeli ezifanelekileyo. Ithetha ngobudlelwane obahlukeneyo, kunye nezikhokelo kunye neendlela zokuhamba. Kodwa kwanemicimbi edla ngokwenza ukuba izinto zisebenze okanye zihambe kakubi kwisibini, kunye nakwizithako eziququzelela okanye ezithintela ukwakha ubudlelwane obuhle kunye nokuzigcina. Ukongeza, inika imikhondo ukuze umntu ngamnye afumane ifomula yakhe, imodeli yakhe kunye nendlela yabo yokuphila njengesibini.
UJoan Garriga, ugqirha wengqondo we-gestalt kunye nengcali kumaqela eentsapho, ingcali kwezonyango ebone izibini ezininzi zihamba nothethwano, ikwenza kucace ukuba kubudlelwane akukho nto intle okanye imbi, unetyala okanye umsulwa, ulungile okanye unesono. “Kukho ubudlelwane obulungileyo nobubi: ubudlelwane obusityebisayo kunye nolwalamano olusiswelayo. Kukho uvuyo kunye nosizi. Kukho uthando oluhle nothando olubi. Kwaye into kukuba uthando alwanele ukuqinisekisa impilo: uthando olufanelekileyo luyafuneka. "
Ndilungise xa ndiphosakele. Iindlela zothethathethwano kwesi sibini
Le ncwadi ibhaliwe malunga noGiorgio Nardone. Ubudlelwane obulungileyo, kokubini njengesibini kunye nolunye uhlobo, kugxile kunxibelelwano oluhle. Le ncwadi igxile kunxibelelwano njengesibini, kuba yeyona ntsika isisiseko ukuba isibini sisebenze ngokufanelekileyo. Vula Amazon ungayifumana ngale nkcazo:
Injongo yalo msebenzi kukusibonisa indlela yokubonisana ngobuchule kunye neqabane lethu, isiphumo seminyaka yamashumi yomsebenzi esijolise ekusikhokeleni ukuba sitshintshe inyani yethu ngendlela esinxibelelana ngayo nabanye nakwiziqu zethu. Umbhali usikhokela kuhambo lokufunda iindlela ezilula nezisebenzayo zokuguqula ukungavisisani kube zizivumelwano kunye neengxabano ezinokubakho kwimanyano, kuba akufuneki silibale ukuba kubudlelwane nabantu esixhumene nabo ngokwasemoyeni nangokweemvakalelo akukho nto inje. ophumeleleyo nolahlekileyo, kodwa omabini amaqela ayaphumelela okanye akaphumeleli.
Wazi kangakanani iqabane lakho? Imibuzo eyi-160 yokufumanisa
Le ncwadi ibhalwe nguGrete Garrido. Yincwadi eyahlukileyo kwezinye, kuba iyincwadi eya kukunceda wazi ngakumbi ngeqabane lakho, ngendlela emnandi neyonwabisayo. En Akukho mveliso ifunyenweyo ungayifumana ngale nkcazo:
Wazi kangakanani iqabane lakho? Ngaba ucinga ukuba uza kuluphumelela uvavanyo? Imibuzo eyi-160 ngaphezulu kwamaphepha angama-42 ukufumanisa ukuba niyazana ngokwenene okanye hayi! Isicwangciso sokonwaba semva kwemini, uhambo okanye isidlo sangokuhlwa kunye. Iimpendulo zisenokukumangalisa kwaye zikhokelele kwincoko enomdla.
Incwadi emnandi igcwele isimanga, isipho santlandlolo kwizibini ezitshatileyo, nokuba kudala behleli kunye okanye ixesha elifutshane. Ngemibuzo eza kuvavanya ulwazi lwakho lomnye kwaye iya kukumema kweyona nto ibalulekileyo: ukumangaliswa, ukufumanisa kwakhona kunye nokunxibelelana. Ukusuka kumdlalo wokuzonwabisa ufumana iqabane lakho ukuba lisekwe nangakumbi.
Isipho sezikhumbuzo, imihla yokuzalwa, ngqo, izibini ezitshatileyo, abancinci nabadala. Ngaba uyalwamkela ucelomngeni? Nabani na olahlekileyo umemela kwisidlo sangokuhlwa! Masikothuse!