"Ukubekwa wedwa, ukulawula, ukungaqiniseki, ukuphindaphindwa komyalezo kunye nokukhohlisa iimvakalelo ziindlela ezisetyenziselwa ukuhlamba ingqondo.”UEduard Punset.
Ngaphambi kokuba ndibone ezi ngcebiso ze-9 zokujongana nabantu abakhohlisayo, ndiyakumema ukuba ubukele le vidiyo imfutshane ngomzuzu osihloko sithi "Ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kwengqondo komnye umntu"
UNOKUXHALA LE VIDIYO «Le yindlela acinga ngayo uSteve Jobs»
Iingcebiso ezili-9 zokujongana nabantu abakhohlisayo
Wazi amalungelo ethu asisiseko
Esona sikhokelo sibaluleke kakhulu xa ujongene nomntu onobuqhophololo kukwazi amalungelo ethu, kwaye uqaphele ukuba anyhashwa nini. Logama nje ingonzakalisi abanye, sinelungelo lokuma sikhusele amalungelo ethu.
Sinelungelo lokuba: siphathwe ngentlonipho, sichaze ezethu izimvo nezimvo, sibeke izinto eziphambili kuthi, sali into, sahluke ngezimvo, sizikhathalele, sibeke imida kwaye sonwabe.
2 Qonda iimpawu zomntu onamaqhinga
Ukuqwalaselwa kokuziphatha kwabo kubalulekile, kuba akusoloko kubonakala kwiliso lenyama, kodwa kancinci kancinci sinokuzifumanisa kwaye ukuba sinomonde, bona ngokwabo baya kutyhila iinjongo zabo zokwenyani.
3 Zama ukuzitshintsha, hayi ubuqhetseba
Kuya kufuneka sijolise ekubeni singabinakho ukuba sesichengeni kwaye kube lula ekujoliseni isikhohlisi, kulula ukuba sitshintshe kunokuba batshintshe.
Olunye utshintsho esinokuthi silwenze kukudalulwa okusekwe phakathi kwethu kunye nabakhohlisi, ukutshintsha oku kuguqukayo kwenza ukuba abakhohlisi bayeke ukulawula kwaye ngalo ndlela bahlala bezishiya iinjongo zabo zokukhohlisa.
4 Gcina umgama
Enye indlela yokufumanisa ubuqhetseba kukujonga ukuba ngaba umntu usebenza ngobuso obahlukeneyo phambi kwabantu abohlukeneyo nakwiimeko ezahlukeneyo. Xa olu hlobo lokuziphatha lubonwa, kungcono ukugcina umgama osempilweni kwaye uphephe ukuzibandakanya kakhulu naloo mntu, kuba kungenjalo sinokuchaphazeleka.
5 Kuphephe ukuzenza zobuqu
Umkhohlisi ufuna ukuxhaphaza ubuthathaka bethu, kunokusenza sizive singonelanga okanye sinetyala, kuba oku kubalulekile ukuba sikhumbule ukuba asiyongxaki kwaye asinatyala, bazama nje ukusenza sizive sinetyala okanye sinetyala lokuzuza amandla kunye nolawulo ngaphezulu kwethu. Kufuneka sicinge malunga nokuba iimfuno zomnye umntu zisengqiqweni na, ingaba siziva sonwabile xa sikunye nalo mntu, nokuba siyahlonitshwa na.
Gxila kubo ngokubuza imibuzo enomdla
Ngokuqinisekileyo, abakhohlisi bengqondo baya kwenza izicelo (okanye iimfuno) kuthi, ezi zihlala zijolise ekwaneliseni iminqweno yabo. Kufuneka siqwalasele ukuba ngaba izicelo zisengqiqweni na, ngamanye amaxesha kuyanceda ukugxila kubo kwaye sibabuze ukuba bayakuqonda na ukungabinangqiqo kwesicelo sabo, ngokwenza oku sibabeka isipili kubo ukubona ukuba bangazibona na iinjongo zabo kwaye rhoxisa isicelo.
7 sithathe ixesha lethu
Abaphembeleli bahlala belindele impendulo ngokukhawuleza kwaye basebenzise uxinzelelo ngokunciphisa ixesha abalinikayo lokufumana impendulo.. Ukuziyeka kwimpembelelo yomkhohlisi ukuba ucinge ngaphambi kokuba uphendule kuhlala kusinceda ukuba sithathe isigqibo esingcono, kuba sinokuvavanya ubuhle kunye neengozi ngoxolo olukhulu lwengqondo.
8 Funda ukuthi "Hayi" ngokudibeneyo
Ukwenza unxibelelwano olungqongqo kusivumela ukuba sichaze iminqweno yethu ngokulula, ngaphandle kokuba sophulwe isigqibo sethu. Akufuneki soyike ukuziphika into ethile, okanye sizive sinetyala ngokungafezekisi iimfuno zomnye umntu.
9 Ukujongana
Ukuhlala ungenzi nto kwaye uzilungiselele kwenza kube lula kubakhohlisi ukuba nefuthe kuthi, kuba baya kusifumana sibuthathaka, ke kufuneka somelele kwaye sikhuseleke xa sikhusela amalungelo ethu.
Ukujongana nomntu kusibeka kwindawo ekhuselekileyo kwaye kusikhupha kwimeko yokuba sesichengeni, kuba ngokujongana nabo sibenza babone ukuba siyayazi injongo yabo kwaye neendlela zabo zokwenza ngobuqhophololo aziyi kuqatshelwa.
Imithombo:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201406/how-spot-and-stop-manipulators
http://www.wikihow.com/Pick-Up-on-Manipulative-Behavior
Inqaku elihle kwiDolores. Ngaba uqinisekisile ukuba i-ex yam yayisisiqwengana esifanelekileyo.
Enkosi, uyimpumelelo !!
Inkcazo yomlawuli ilungile kakhulu, ndinonyana oneminyaka engama-35 othi qho xa ephela nentombazana yakhe, anditsalele umnxeba andithuke ngendlela afuna ngayo athi mna ndisisiporho, xa ndingenjalo Nokuba ndingena kubudlelwane bakhe kwaye uyandikhohlisa, ezama ubomi bakhe Kwaye endixelela ukuba uyandiphika njengomama wakhe, inyani andazi ukuba mandenze ntoni, yiyo loo nto ndibhala apha ukubona ukuba bangandikhokela njani , Uyingcali ephumeleleyo kodwa umnike into yokuyilungisa okanye ukuyikhathalela intombazana engafuniyo ukuqhubeka naye, ngokuziphatha kwakhe kunye newaka lombulelo
Ukuba uthi uza kuzibulala, mxelele ukuba atsibe kumgangatho wesine webalkoni kodwa aqiniseke ukuba akawi emotweni kuba kuya kufuneka ahlawule imoto eyonakeleyo, ukuba akunjalo, yiya ngqo ngaphaya iintambo zombane eziphezulu kwaye wazazisa kodwa kufuneka abe nenjongo echanekileyo kuba angazonzakalisa eshiywe engenamlenze xa ewile kuba uya kwaphuka okanye entloko okanye ebusweni ephawulwe ubomi bakhe bonke ... kodwa ukuba uyayenza bangafi umbane bazokumsa kwindawo yokukhosela kuba yindlela elula yokufa kwaye bazobona ukuba khange ndizame nokuzama ,,,,, kungenjalo ukuba uzakuthatha iipilisi into ezakwenzeka kukuba isisu sakho siyabora kwaye kuya kufuneka baqhekeze ngesikali sentloko kunye nokusika ithumbu lakhe eligalelweyo kwaye ngekhe abonakale ehlekisa xa eyokulala nentombi yakhe ukuze akhethe eyona ndlela imfaneleyo….
Kwaqhwatywa izandla, uyenzile imini yam !!!!
Into efana naleyo ndathi kwi-ex eyayisongela ngokutsiba ibhulorho ukuba ndiyishiya.
Ndixelele…. Nditsalele umnxeba ukuba ufuna i-Push kunye nenkuthazo yokwenza.
Ngelishwa ndidibene nabantu ababini abakhohlisayo ebomini bam kwaye ibe ngamava amabi kuba bayayazi indlela yokwenza ukuba uzive ungonwabanga kwaye ndingomnye wabo bantu ndingathandiyo ukubangela iintlungu ebantwini, kodwa kuba ilixesha lesibini eli ukuba ndidibana nomntu onje, ndingathanda ukumtyhila kuba andizimiselanga kumlimaza, ndifuna nje ukuba abonakaliswe njengoko enjalo
Ufff into izakundinceda ingcebiso ndinommelwane, iminyaka emininzi. kodwa ngokutsho kwakhe singabahlobo. Kwaye ngoku ndihlala ixesha elininzi ekhaya kuba andisebenzi kwaye ndihlala kwindlu yelizwe. Ngamanye amaxesha iyandonelisa ukuba indoyisile. Kwixesha elidlulileyo ndiphose okuninzi. Ngokulawula umlawuli weGETA KUNYE NEFANTASMON. Uya ngokungathi wayengumntu ophambili kumdlalo bhanyabhanya Mva nje ushiywe ngunyana anaye. Kwaye ndinoxolo kuphela xa bengekho. Okanye balala. Andisamxeleli kwanto. Kufana nokuthetha nodonga kwaye inyani kukuba xa efuna kwaye angandinceda endlwini yam ukuba elixhegwazana Kodwa lenza ukuba intloko yam ibe njengegubu le-bass ndizihlukanise nomculo ukuze ndingawuva, uthetha phantse yonke imihla emnxebeni ingxola. Andinamdla. Bonke bayaqhayisa.
Ngapha koko, eyona nto intle ayikokutsiba. into endiyifunayo kukubaleka. kuba ndithe ngqo kwaye andinamdla wokuba mbi. kodwa ndiziva ngathi. indlela endiyiphendule ngayo umnxeba wakhe inditsalela ngaphandle kwaye indenza ndibe nesiyezi. Into endicinga ukuba iyamphepha.Ibanzima kuba unengqondo. Ndilapha ubomi bam bonke kwaye ubonakala ngathi sele esazi wonke umntu. Mna. Ndineentloni ngakumbi. Nangona kunjalo, ndinetyala. Kodwa andiyiyo loo tyhefu
Uff ndinovalo. Ngenxa yokuba unenzuzo. Ndiza kwenza i-paella kubahlobo kwaye sele ndikhuselekile. Ngaye ndothuka kwaye ndiza kumxelela ukuba likhaya lam kwaye ndiza kuba yinkwenkwezi. Makayenze ekhaya kodwa ndifuna ukubangaphezulu. Uonozakuzaku. Ndicacile kwaye oko kuvela kubunewunewu kuye. Ndicinga ukuba bubuxoki ngakumbi. Phila iinqaba emoyeni. Iyandityhafisa !!! .. Kodwa ndisekhaya. Ewe andiyingelosi. Enkosi ngokundinceda, ukuyibhala, kukho into eye yandithulisa
Ukuba ufuna ukundinika indlela ethile. Lawula i-inertia yam ukuze ndimthumele kwi… .. andinakuba ngummelwane wam. abanye abazi nokuba bazi. Kuyadinisa. Kodwa kufuneka ndilumke. Enkosi ngokundikhupha. Khange nditsho ukuba singaphezulu okanye singaphantsi kobudala kwaye sihlala sodwa. Ngapha koko
Yaziwa ngcono ngokungalunganga kunokuba kulungile ukwazi. Kodwa ukuba uhambile. le ndoda izakuhamba ndiyaphinda Enkosi. Ndixolise kuba mhlawumbi umntu ogulayo ndim. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ube phithi. Ngapha koko, inokuhlala imbi kakhulu. .Enkosi
Jonga, unamandla. Akukho nto idlula into umntu angayifuniyo, ukuba ikukhathaza kakhulu, ungamvumeli ukuba angene akuncede kwindlu yakho endala…. Ukuba umnike izitshixo, zibuze ngobuqhetseba okanye uthathe umsesane wesitshixo kwaye ususe izitshixo zakho, ukuba ufika njengesiporho ngelo xesha uziva ngathi yihotele ekumnyango wangaphambili, beka indawo ekhuselekileyo ngaphakathi kwaye isillllon elungileyo ayikwazi ukubiza ixabiso. Ukuba ifowuni ikhala kwaye ubona ukuba yeyona ilungileyo, yithi cwaka emva koko uyiqwalasele kwakhona iminxeba ukuze ingakothusi ... .. ukuba ucinga ngubani iAdonis, shiya ifowuni uthule uye ujonge ukuba yintoni eza kugqwetha amathumbu ongawuphenduliyo…. ungamvumeli ukuba angene kwifriji yakho kwaye ukuba uyamcela ukuba asebenzisane naye kwaye ukuba akayokutya ngaphandle kangangeentsuku ezili-15 nokuba sisonka nesoda ... xa engakuboni ukuba uyakutya ukuba azixelele ukuba .... Akukho mntu umbi kakhulu oziva embindini wokuthathelwa ingqalelo engakhange abemnye ... mbuze ukuba ngubani umntu okrelekrele onokuchitha iiyure kufacebook ... kuchithwa ixesha lokuba iigames ziphinde ziyifumane kwaye zimxelele ukuba u-facebook umnike eloxesha lokumsebenzisa ... mhlawumbi ndimthumelela ibhokisi yeepesika okanye ikhilogram yenyama…. laa mfo uyityhefu kwaye iityhefu azivumelani kubudlelwane kuba uhlala ungummelwane ombi kwaye ungummelwane okhathazekileyo…
Molo, izolo ndithathe isigqibo sokumisa umama, umyeni wam uya e-United States ukuya kusebenza kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uyamkhapha kwaye uthatha ithuba lokuzisa izinto abamnika ukuba azithengise, kulungile…. Ekuqaleni umyeni wam wayenza ngovuyo, kodwa ngoku kuye kwanyanzeleka emva kokuba ubabalwe kwaye ayisiyiyo eyomama kuphela kodwa nomzala wam, kwaye rhoqo ngeempelaveki bayabuza, ingaba umyeni wakho uza kuhamba? kuba kufuneka ndihambe kwaye ndifuna ukuhamba ngolwesiHlanu kuba kufuneka ndihlambe ndibuye ngeCawe emva kwemini, xa umyeni wam engakwazi ukuhamba ngolwesiHlanu kodwa ngoMgqibelo abuye ngeCawe kusasa, ke ukubuyela e ukuqala kwesihloko izolo ndixelele umama ukuba umyeni wam uzakuhamba, kodwa axelele umzala wam ukuba anganxibi mpahla zingaka, asebenzisane nemali yohambo kwaye ngeCawe umyeni wam uzakuhamba kusasa, kuba khange andixelele mm, kuyo yonke into endimbuze yona kwaye ibindivisa kabuhlungu kakhulu kuba ndiziva ndisebenzisa kwaye ayikho enye into ebalulekileyo yokumphathela izinto ukuba andiyi endlwini yakhe ndiyokumbona kube kanye ngeveki akazami ukundibona kwaye kubuhlungu ngoba ngumama wam, ngecawe sidibene kwam kwaye oko engafikanga ndamtsalela umnxeba wathi ngulo dade wenu uyeza ndamxelela ukuba ayinamsebenzi into endinoyenza. ukungaziva unetyala ngento endiyibuzileyo kwaye andenzi njani ukuba ayindichaphazeli ukuba awufuni kundibona ngalo lonke ixesha ndikuhoya? kuba ndifuna ukukhula kwaye ndikhule njengomntu ukusukela ndineminyaka eyi-40, enkosi ngempendulo yakho nangoncedo lwakho.