Iingcebiso ezili-10 zokwahlukana neqabane lakho kwaye nishiya ubudlelwane

Yonke into kweli hlabathi inokutshintsha ngequbuliso, kwaye ubudlelwane abuhlukanga koku. Ukukunceda kula maxesha anzima, silungiselele uluhlu kunye neengcebiso ezili-10 zokwahlukana neqabane lakho, ukuze nikwenze ngeyona ndlela ibekekileyo kwaye ngaphandle kokulimaza omnye umntu.

Qaphela ukuba ayongxaki nesisombululo

Enye yeengxaki eziphambili namhlanje kukuba abantu bathathe isimilo sokuziphatha, kwaye loo nto ibenza bangakwazi ukuziqhelanisa neemfuno okanye iimpawu zabanye abantu. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo, kuluntu ngoku siphulukana namandla ethu okuziqhelanisa, into ethi, ngaphandle kokuyiqonda, isisonzakalise kakhulu.

Ukusuka koku, uninzi lwezibini ziyathandana, kodwa zifuna kuphela ixesha lazo ngaphandle kokucinga ngexesha ekufuneka zilinikele kwelinye, ukuze Ukuzingca kunye nokuzimela kuko okuphelisayo ukwahlula ezo zibini, kungenjalo, ngeza kuba nekamva elihle.

Le yenye into ekufuneka siyixabisile, kuba ukuba siyalithanda iqabane lethu kwaye eyona ngxaki yile, mhlawumbi singayisombulula sobabini ukuba sinyanisekile kwiziqu zethu kwaye siyayazi indlela yokujonga eyona ngxaki.

Ukuba sizamile (hayi kuphela kwinxalenye enye, kodwa kwicala labo bobabini) kwaye khange isebenze, emva koko asizukukhetha ngaphandle kokunqumla iqabane lethu, nokuba sibathanda kangakanani kwaye kangakanani Ibuhlungu.

Esinye isizathu esiqhelekileyo ngumona, enye ye iintshaba ezibulala abantu. Kwimeko apho sinokuhlala sikhangela iingcebiso zokuyeka ukuba nomona okanye umona, ke kuhlala kusenokwenzeka ukuba sinokusombulula, kodwa ke, kubalulekile ukuba sobabini siyenze indima yethu, sinyaniseke kwaye ngaphezulu kwako konke senze umzamo wokufezekisa injongo yethu.

Yenza isigqibo sokugqibela

Ukuba ngaphandle kwazo zonke iinzame khange kubekho ndlela yokusombulula iingxaki kwaye sifuna ukuqhubela phambili, kuyakubaluleka ukuba siqiniseke ngokupheleleyo ngento esiza kuyenza kwaye asizukubuya umva, ekufuneka sihlalutye yonke into ngokufanelekileyo.

Ngokuqinisekileyo zonke izibini zihamba ngokulungileyo nokungalunganga, kwaye ngoku ngoku uya kuzifumana ukwenye yezona zimbi, yiyo loo nto usenokucinga ngokwenza isileyiti esicocekileyo ukuqala ekuqaleni ngobomi obutsha, kodwa inyani kukuba thina bathatha isigqibo ngokushushu. Ngokufanelekileyo, kufuneka siqiniseke ngokupheleleyo ukuba sifuna ukubuphelisa ubudlelwane, kuba sihlala sibona iimeko apho esi sibini sisikayo kwaye kungekudala sizisola ngokwenza oko.

Xa oku kusenzeka, sinokubuyela umva kwakhona, kodwa eyona nto ixhaphakileyo kukuba akukho kubuya mva kwaye kufuneka silungiselele isigqibo esasithatha ngemini kwaye siphulukane nomntu esimthandayo.

Ke ngoko, into yokuqala ekufuneka siyenzile kukuthoba umoya kwaye senze isigqibo esibandayo ukuze siqiniseke ukuba sesona silungileyo kwaye siya kusizuzisa sobabini kwixesha elizayo.

Nyaniseka kwaye uxele ezona zizathu zokwahlukana

Icebiso lesibini esikunika lona kukuba unyaniseke ekwahlukaneni, ukuze singabonakali njengabahanahanisi ukuba omnye umntu sele eyazi into malunga izizathu zethu zokwenyani zokusika.

Kubalulekile ukuba sicace gca ukuba ngomhla wabo loo mntu ubethetha lukhulu kuthi, kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba uthetha enye into, kodwa ngelishwa, ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka senze izigqibo ezifanelekileyo ukunqanda umonakalo ongaphezulu kwixesha elizayo. Ngeso sizathu, iqabane lakho lifanelwe ukunyaniseka kwaye lazi esona sizathu sokuba sifuna ukusika, kuba kungenjalo baya kuqonda ukuba siyaxoka, ukongeza kuloo nto siza kwenza umonakalo omkhulu, kuba eyona nto ixhaphakileyo kukuba baqala ukuzibek 'ityala ngale meko, ke akufuneki siyivumele le yenzeke.

Eli asiloxesha lokuphikisana

Ewe kubalulekile ukuba siwalinganise kakuhle amagama esiwathethayo, kuba ayiloxesha lokugxeka nabani na ngale meko, oko kukuthi, asikho ngexesha lothethathethwano, kuba sithathe isigqibo kwaye asizukuya ukubuyela ezantsi.

Umzekelo, uninzi lwamaxesha, iingxaki zobudlelwane zivela kwiiyantlukwano kunye nokungakwazi ukuziqhelanisa, ukuze umntu asoloko enoluvo lokuba omnye unetyala, kodwa ngalo mzuzu akusafanelekanga ukuzama ukufumana nantoni na , kodwa siya kunyaniseka ngohlobo:

"Siphikisana kakhulu, kwaye ukungakwazi kwethu ukuqonda omnye komnye kusenza umonakalo omkhulu sobabini."

Kodwa asiyi kuwela ekukhangeleni ityala:

"Ndizamile amatyeli amaninzi, kodwa awusoze undimamele kwaye awukhathali ngeemvakalelo zam".

Ngamafutshane, kufuneka sijongane nayo ngokubanzi, njengengxaki yobudlelwane apho kungakhathalelwanga ukuba ityala livela phi, kwaye ngale ndlela siya kulawula, kwelinye icala, ukunqanda ingxoxo, kwaye kwelinye Siza kunyaniseka kodwa singonzakalisi, ukuvumela omnye umntu ukuba enze iimvavanyo zakhe ngokwakhe kwaye ngaphandle kokungena kwingxoxo-mpikiswano.

Lungiselela intetho emfutshane

Enye yeengcebiso zokwahlukana neqabane lakho esikunika lona ngokuchanekileyo kukuba mfutshane kwincoko, nokuba omnye umntu uboleka ukuthetha. Kuya kufuneka sikhumbule ukuba sele sisenzile isigqibo sokugqibela, ke siza kuthetha ngaso, ayizonjongo zethu ukuthethathethana ngeemeko ezintsha.

Nangona kungakhange kubonakale ngathi, ukugcina incoko imfutshane kuya kusinceda sobabini, kodwa kuya kuthintela imeko ukuba ifudumale kwaye siphele sixabana siphosa izinto entloko.

Ewe, kufuneka sicace gca ukuba ngexesha lemeko siza kubona ukuba iqabane lethu liba nomsindo okanye lilile njani, ke kufuneka sizilungiselele. Nangona kunjalo, ngokugcina inkqubo imfutshane, sinokuzisindisa kwimbandezelo enkulu.

Lumka kakhulu ngamathemba obuxoki

Enye yeempazamo eziqhelekileyo xa usika ubudlelwane ngokuchanekileyo kukusetyenziswa kwamathemba.

Nokuba kungenxa yokuba sifuna ukuphuma kuloo meko ayimnandanga kuthi (okanye komnye umntu), okanye kungenxa yoku sicinga ukuba siya kuba nakho ukunciphisa iintlungu zelinye iqela kwaye ngaloo ndlela siphumle kancinci uxinzelelo, ngamanye amaxesha sibhenela kwezo nkcukacha zinika ithemba lokuba mhlawumbi kwixesha elizayo siza kuphinda sibe kunye kwakhona, kodwa apha sele sophula enye yeendlela ebesikhe sathetha ngazo ngaphambili, ezingekho ngaphezulu okanye ngaphantsi kokunyaniseka.

La mathemba angeyonyani awazukuyandisa nje kuphela intlungu elaliyiyo iqabane lethu, kodwa iya kuba kukuziva ulilize okuya kubenza bazive besoyikeka kuba, hayi nje kuphela ngokusilahleka, kodwa abakwazanga ukusifumana nokuba yeyiphi.

Kwelinye icala, elo themba likwathetha ukuba kuya kubakho unxibelelwano kamva, oko kuthetha ukuba kuthi kuya kuthetha ukwandiswa kwentlungu, ukongeza kuloo nto siya kuncitshiswa xa sithatha izigqibo ezitsha ngokunxulumene nobomi bethu bemvakalelo, ukusukela, ukuba Umntu ucinga ukuba silinde ukusombulula ingxaki, singadala kuphela iintlungu ukuba siqhubeka nobomi bethu sigcina loo mathemba angengawo.

Lungisa indawo nexesha elifanelekileyo

Sikwacebisa ukuba ulungiselele indawo efanelekileyo ukusika ubudlelwane. Oku kunokubonakala kungabalulekanga, kodwa inyani kukuba ibaluleke ngakumbi kunokuba ibonakala kwaye ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi.

Kwindawo yokuqala, kufuneka sikhumbule ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba umdlalo weqonga uza kuxhonywa ngenxa yale meko, yiyo loo nto kufuneka sibekwindawo engathathi cala apho siziva siphumle khona. Kwaye akucebisi ukuba uye kwindawo ekude kakhulu, ngakumbi kuba ngale ndlela siyayikhuthaza idrama ukuba ibe namandla ngakumbi. Nangona kunjalo, ukungqongwa, eyona nto ixhaphakileyo kukuba kuyasinceda ukuba siqulathe le meko, kodwa ngokucacileyo sizokukuphepha ukuba kwindawo yesiqhelo kuthi, nokuba kungenxa yokuba kusizisela iinkumbulo okanye kuba kusenokubakho abantu kuloo ndawo siyazi kwaye, ke ngoko, inkqubo yokusika inzima ngakumbi.

Kwelinye icala, siza kukhetha umzuzu apho thina kunye nomnye umntu sihleli kakuhle ngokwasemoyeni, okanye kangangoko sinako, kuba ngale ndlela siyakuwuphepha umlo onje ngophuko unokucinga ukuba womelele ukuvuthela kwaye sitshona ngaphezu kwemfuneko.

Okokugqibela, xa sikhetha umzuzu wokusika, siya kufuna ukuba umntu ngamnye ashiye apho ecaleni kwakhe, oko kukuthi, akufuneki sihambe sobabini emotweni enye, kuba ukuba akunjalo kamva kuya kufuneka sibuyele kunye, kwaye iyakonakalisa imeko.

Kwaye ukuba sihlala kunye, eyona nto ifanelekileyo kukuba ngobo busuku sele sicinge ngendawo yokuphumla endaweni yokuhlala ekhaya, kuba kungenjalo ubungqongqo buya kuba bukhulu. Ewe kunjalo, ukuba sitshatile, ngokucacileyo kufuneka siqale sidibane negqwetha ukuze singenzi izinto ezinokuthi kamva zitolikwe kwityala, njengokutyholwa ngokushiya ikhaya.

Kodwa ukuba akukho bantwana babandakanyekayo kwaye akukho zibophelelo zomthetho, kungcono ukusika ilahleko yakho ngokukhawuleza.

Ungalibali ukuba imele ntoni na kuwe

Nangona besisenza ukuba kucace kuwo onke amanqaku angaphambili, kufanelekile ukuphinda-phinda ukuba loo mntu siza kwahlukana naye, ngaxa lithile kwakuthetha lukhulu kuthi, ke kufuneka sicinge ngeemvakalelo zabo kwaye senze yonke into kakuhle kakuhle, kwaye ngaphandle kwezityholo kwaye ngaphandle kweempikiswano.

Ewe kunjalo, kufuneka sicace gca kwisigqibo sethu, kwaye akufuneki sivumele iimvakalelo zisenze sibuye umva, kodwa oko akuhambelani nokuba nobuchule ngalo mzuzu. Ewe siyakukhumbuza kwakhona ukuba eyona nto intle kwezi meko kukulungiselela intetho emfutshane kunye nemfutshane, ngaloo ndlela kuthintelwe ukubangela iingxoxo.

Ukuba kuyimfuneko, sakuba sigqibile siya kusebenzisa isizathu sokuhamba.

Lumkela ubudlelwane obutsha

Ekupheleni kolwalamano olunye, sihlala sicebisa ukuqala olunye, ke sisebenzisa elo binzana laziwayo "Isikhonkwane esinye siphakamisa esinye isikhonkwane”, Inokuba yinyani kuba, masingalibali, xa isibini siqhekeka, ukubandezeleka kumacala omabini, kwaye kwimeko yethu ngabo abenze isigqibo, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba imeko usenzakalise.

Ngenxa yeso sizathu kuya kufuneka senze konke okusemandleni ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo, kodwa ke lumka, amaxesha amaninzi apha sikhangela into enokubambelela njengobudlelwane obutsha kodwa isidingo sokufumana umntu ongena endaweni anokuthi aphume kubudlelwane obubi, ukuze sikwazi ekugqibeleni singena kwindawo embi kakhulu esishiyileyo

Kule meko ihlala icetyiswa chitha ixesha ngaphandle kweqabane, ukuze sikwazi ukunxibelelana neziqu zethu kunye neemfuno zethu, ngaloo ndlela sazane ngcono kwaye sisebenzise esikufundileyo ukunqanda ukwenza iimpazamo ezifanayo kubudlelwane obulandelayo.

Umbono olungileyo ingangukuchitha ixesha sisenza zonke ezo zinto besizishiye zipakishwe ukuba zibekho nalo mntu, sibuye kwakhona sizokubona abo bantu banokuthi bashiyeke kwiqela lethu langoku, ukuze siphinde sihlaziye iibhetri kwaye Uyakuqonda ukuba kukho izinto ezinokuthi zinikezelwe kwiqabane, kunye nezinye ezingafanelekanga kwaphela.

Uthando, njengayo yonke into ebomini, yinto ekufuneka ifundwe, kuba akukho mntu uzalwa esazi ukuba uqhubeka njani nobudlelwane. Kodwa ukuba siyayazi indlela yokumamela ingcebiso esinikwa bubomi kwaye ngaphezulu kwayo yonke into esiyichitha nathi, sihlalutya yonke into eyenzekileyo kuthi kule minyaka idlulileyo kwaye sizama ukwazana ngcono, ungaqiniseka ukuba Uya kuba namathuba amaninzi ukonwaba ngomso.

Yabelana ngezi ngcebiso zokwahlukana neqabane lakho

Kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo siyakukhuthaza ukuba wabelane ngezi ngcebiso zokwahlukana neqabane lakho kwaye uncede abo bahlobo banyanzelweyo ukuba bahambe kule nkqubo kodwa bengazi ukuba bajongane njani nayo.

Ungalibali ukuba nguwe wedwa abantu ekuya kufuneka ubanyamezele ubomi bakho bonke, ke kubalulekile ukuba uhlale usenza izigqibo ezikunceda ukuba ujonge phambili kwaye uphephe ukubonakala kweengxaki, nangona sisenza njalo Andifuni ukuthetha ngale nto ukuba abanye abantu abasingqongileyo bayasebenziseka, enyanisweni kufuneka senze ukhetho oluchanekileyo kwaye sihlale kuphela nabo basizisela inzuzo, kodwa ewe, ngaphandle kokuxhomekeka kubo ngokwasemphefumlweni, kuba, kuba Nokuba kungasiphi na isizathu kunokwenzeka ukuba kwixesha elizayo bangabikho, kwaye ukuphulukana nabo kuya kuba yingxaki kunye nentlungu engafunekiyo kuthi xa umntu oza kuhlala ecaleni kwethu engekho ngaphezulu okanye ngaphantsi kunathi.