«Ukuphumla okukhulu kukhululeka ekubeni netyala. »UMarco Tulio Cicero
Kwinkcubeko yethu, ukuziva unetyala yimvakalelo exhaphake kakhulu, ivelisa uxinzelelo kunye nokungonwabi ngenxa yokwazi ukwenza izinto ezenzakalisa omnye umntu.
Ukusuka kwindawo yokuqonda, ukuziva unetyala yimvakalelo efunyanwa ngabantu kuba beqinisekile ukuba babangele ingozi. Kwithiyori yokuqonda, iingcinga zibangela iimvakalelo, ityala livela kwimbono yokuba noxanduva kwilishwa lomnye umntu. Isenokuba yimeko yabantu abasoloko beziva bengenatyala ngenxa yokuchazwa gwenxa kwezenzo zabo, Aba bantu bathanda ukubandezeleka kakhulu kwaye baziva benetyala rhoqo ngaphandle kwezizathu zokwenyani okanye ngaphandle kwetyala lokwenyani ngokwenzekileyo, kwezi meko, iimvakalelo zokuba netyala azisebenzi.
Ukuziva unetyala kunokuba nezibonelelo njengokukhusela ubudlelwane bethu. Iimvakalelo zokuziva unetyala zenzeka ikakhulu kubudlelwane nabanye, ke kufana nealam kuthi kuthi ukuba sichonge amanyathelo afanelekileyo kwaye sithathe indawo yokugcina ubudlelwane obuhle nabanye.
Ngokwezibalo, ngeveki siziva kwiiyure ezi-3 ukuya kwezili-10 zokuziva unetyala, oku kungancitshiswa ngezenzo, kodwa ukuba ayincitshiswanga, iba njenge-alamu engacimiyo kwaye ivelise ukungonwabi, ithintela ukugxila kunye noxolo , Yiyo loo nto kucetyiswa ukuba kwenziwe amanyathelo okusombulula ezi mvakalelo, umzekelo ucele uxolo, nangona oku kubonakala kulula kakhulu, akusoloko kunjalo, kuba kubalulekile ukwazi indlela yokucela uxolo ngendlela engqinelanayo.
Zininzi iindidi zetyala, sinokuziva sinetyala ngento esiyenzileyo, ngento esifuna ukuyenza nesingakwaziyo, yento esicinga ukuba siyenzile, yokungamncedisi umntu ngokwaneleyo, ukusilela kwiikhowudi zethu zokuziphatha, okanye bhetele kunabanye abantu.
Elinye icala lokuziva unetyala kukuba kuthintela ukucinga ngokucacileyoKungenxa yokuba uninzi lwengqwalaselo yethu sinokuthi sigxile koku kunokuba sijonge ezinye iimfuno zobomi Ukongeza, ukuziva unetyala kudala intshabalalo yokuzenzakalisa kwabanye abantu, njengoko inokuba nesohlwayo esokufuna ukukhupha imvakalelo yokuzisola.
Ukuziva unetyala kunesiphumo esibi sokwenza ukuba abantu benzakaliswe, Kuba ukusondela kubo kusebenza njengesikhumbuzo, ungarhoxa nakwimeko apho kuye kwenziwa izinto ezisenze saziva sinetyala.
Ukunciphisa iimvakalelo zokuziva unetyala, kubalulekile ukuyamkela into yokuba senze isenzo esithile esele senzekile, saxolisa, kwaye safumana indlela yokuphepha ukwenza into efanayo kwixa elizayo.. Ngenxa yotyekelo lwethu lwendalo lokuzingca, sicinga ukuba abanye babaluleke kakhulu kwiingcinga nakwizenzo zethu kunokuba bezenza, kungoko ke nathi akufuneki sibe ngqwabalala kuthi.
Unyango lwengqondo, unyango lwabantu abaneemvakalelo ezingapheliyo zetyala elingenasizathu zihlala zibandakanya ukufundisa abantu ukuba balahle "iingcinga ezizenzekelayo" zabo ezibangele ukuba nabanye babandezeleke. Bafundisiwe ukuba baqonde "ukungasebenzi kakuhle" kwabo ukuze babone xa behamba neenkqubo ezinje ngengqondo njengokuphanzisa okanye ukwenza ngaphezulu.
Kubalulekile ukuba sifunde kwiindlela zethu zokuziphatha kwaye sisebenzise ityala ukuba sifunde kumava, umbono kukuba ubuncinci amathuba okuba senze izinto ezifanayo kwixa elizayo. Ke, ukuziva unetyala kunokusinceda silungise iimpazamo kwaye sifunde ukuguqula iindlela ezithile zokuziphatha ukuze siziva sikhululekile kuthi.
Imithombo:
-http: //www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201411/10-surprising-facts-about-guild
-http: //www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201208/the-definitive-guide-guilt
-http: //www.beyondintractability.org/essay/guilt-shame
-http: //psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/11/27/5-tips-for-dealing-with-guilt/
-http: //datingtips.match.com/deal-guilt- After-cheating-13197052.html