Ngamanye amaxesha iinzame zokukhuthaza umntwana ukuba enze into kubonakala ngathi aziphumeleli, mhlawumbi ukuba oku kuyenzeka kuwe kufuneka utshintshe indlela ocinga ngayo. Kukho amaxesha apho ukuzama ukukhuthaza umntwana kuphela esiba ngumzabalazo wamandla, ke yonke into inokujikela kuwe. Kukho into ephosakeleyo ngokukhulisa umntwana wakho ukuba umkhathalele ngakumbi ngamabanga akhe kunoko kwenziwa ngumntwana wakho okanye indlela aziphethe ngayo okanye uziva ngayo.
Kuya kufuneka uzibuze umbuzo: «Luthini uxanduva lonyana wam apha? Yintoni eyam? ”Ukuba umntwana wakho akawenzi umsebenzi wakhe, umsebenzi wakho njengomzali kukumenza aziphendulele kwaye umfundise ukuba isebenza njani eyona nto iyiyo. Kwilizwe lokwenyani, ukuba awugqibi umsebenzi wakho, awuyi kuhlawulwa.
Iziphumo
Iziphumo zisixhobo esihle sokukhuthaza abantwana kunye nokugcoba umntwana wakho malunga nesiphumo sokhetho lwabo olubi, kodwa sukuphambanisa isizathu sokwenza njalo ngokucinga ukuba kuya kukwenza uxhalabe ngemisebenzi yasekhaya yezibalo kuba bekhathala. Iziphumo azikho ukudala inkuthazo; Ubanika ngoba wenza umsebenzi wakho njengomzali. Eyona nto iphambili kukuba awukwazi ukukhuthaza omnye umntu ukuba akhathalele ngento ethile. Endaweni yoko, indima yakho kukukhuthaza kunye nefuthe.
Njengabazali, sihlala siziva sinoxanduva lwesiphumo kubomi bomntwana wethu, kodwa siyaqonda ukuba oku akunjalo; njengecebo lokugqibela, unyana wakho unoxanduva lokukhetha kwakhe. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba sikholelwa ekubeni impumelelo yabantwana bethu ixhomekeke kuthi, singena kwindawo esingafanelekanga ukuba kuyo.
Basifundisa ukuba kufuneka silawule abantwana bethu ngandlela thile, ke sihlala sitsibela ebomini babo ngaphandle kwengcinga yesibini. Sicinga ukuba kufanele ukuba sikhuthaze abantwana bethu ukuba bafune izinto ezithile ebomini, kodwa oko kubenza ukuba basebenze ekuphenduleni kuwe. Umntwana wakho angathobela ukuba awenze umsebenzi okanye akwanelise, kodwa loo nto ayincedi ukuzikhuthaza. Kwakhona, ukuba ufuna ukukhuthaza nokuphembelela umntwana wakho, injongo iyafana: sifuna ukuba abantwana bethu bakhuthazwe, yindlela esifika ngayo apho eyenza umahluko.
Abanye abantwana bayakhuthazeka. Abanye abantwana abakhuthazeki kangako kwaye bafuna ukutyhilwa apha okanye uxinzelelo oluninzi apho. Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ungamkhuthaza njani umntwana wakho, unokucinga ngokuzenzekelayo ngokumvuza ngalo lonke inyathelo alithabathayo kwicala elifanelekileyo kwaye usebenzise iziphumo ezingalunganga ngamanyathelo awathathayo kwicala elingalunganga. Ngokwenyani, eyona ndlela ilungileyo kukuhlakulela inkuthazo yakho yangaphakathi- ukukunceda ukuba ungene kwiimvakalelo zempumelelo kunye neqhayiya onalo ngomsebenzi owenzileyo.
Le yindlela onokuthi umkhuthaze ngayo umntwana
Ukuba into oyifunayo kukuba abantwana bakho bakhuthazeke kwindawo ethile yobomi babo, ke siza kukunika iingcebiso ukuze ukwazi ukuyiphumeza:
- Ukuseka iinjongo. Bacele ukuba benze uluhlu lweenjongo zexesha elifutshane kunye nenjongo yexesha elide. Kuya kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba ziinjongo zokwenyani kwaye zifuna umzamo wokuba uzifezekise.
- Bhiyozela impumelelo. Xa umntwana wakho efezekisa iinjongo zakhe, mxelele ukuba uyaziqhenya ngaye. Bhiyozelani ezi zinto kunye. Kule meko ungasebenzisa imbuyekezo yomsebenzi owenziweyo.
- Yenza izinto zikhuphisane. Ukhuphiswano olusempilweni nolusempilweni ngumbono olungileyo wokukhuthaza. Ungamkhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba abethe enye kodwa uhlala ehlonipha imbangi. Owona mceli mngeni mkhulu kukoyisa isiqu sakho.
- Kholelwa kunyana wakho. Yazisa umntwana wakho ukuba uyakholelwa kuye kwaye uya kuba naye nanini na xa enemibuzo okanye efuna inkxaso. Ukuba umntwana wakho uziva ukuba unenkxaso yakho engenamiqathango kuya kumenza akholelwe kuye kwaye azibonise ukuba unako ukufikelela ngaphezulu kunokuba wayecinga ekuqaleni.
- Yiba nomdla. Funda ukuqonda kwaye uthathe umdla kwizinto ezithandwa ngumntwana wakho. Thetha naye umamele le nto azakuyithetha kuwe. Oku kuya kubonisa umntwana wakho ukuba umkhathalele kwaye angathetha nawe ngayo nantoni na. Izinto abanomdla kuzo zibalulekile kuwe.
- Fumanisa ukuthanda komntwana wakho. Ngamanye amaxesha iinkanuko zabantwana ziye zingabonakali kuba kucingelwa ukuba "zizinto zabantwana", kodwa italente yomntwana wakho efihliweyo isenokuba iphambi kwakho kwaye usenokungayiqondi. Ikwangumbono olungileyo ukukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba afumanise ukuba yintoni ayithandayo. Ukufumanisa umdla wakho kunokuba yindlela ende.
- Yiba nesimo sengqondo esihle. Ukuba nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kubalulekile ukuba umntwana wakho afunde malunga nethemba kuwe. Ukuba abantwana bakho babona kuwe ndinakho okanye ndithandabuze baya kuphulukana nokuzithemba kubo kodwa nakuwe. Yiba nokucinga okuhle ukutshintsha imeko yemeko kwaye uhlala ubona icala eliqaqambileyo lezinto.
- Ifuthe labangani. Ngamanye amaxesha uxinzelelo lweRupo kwiidosi ezincinci lunokukhuthaza abantwana. Kodwa ngaphandle koku, kufanelekile ukuba kuthathelwe ingqalelo ukuba uxinzelelo loontanga nako kunokubangela uxinzelelo ebantwaneni kwaye kuyakufuneka ukubanika izixhobo eziyimfuneko ukuze abantwana bazi indlela yokulawula uxinzelelo okanye ukuba ingaba uxinzelelo lwabalingane lubachaphazela njani.
- Yenza isicwangciso. Ukuze ufezekise iinjongo zakho, kubalulekile ukuba nesicwangciso. Nceda abantwana bakho benze izicwangciso kunye nezicwangciso zokufezekisa oko bafuna ukufezekisa, oko kukuthi, iinjongo zabo. Yenza isicwangciso-nge-nyathelo sokufikelela kubo kwaye ubenze bazive ukuba ukufumana izinto kufuna umzamo, kodwa ngokulandela amanyathelo, nantoni na enokwenzeka.
- Yiba ngumphefumleli wakho. Khuthaza abantwana bakho malunga neenjongo kunye namabhongo, bonisa abantwana bakho olo lonwabo lokufezekisa izinto. Amandla aqinisekileyo kunye neadrenaline iya kukukhuthaza ukuba uqhubeke kunye neenjongo zakho kwaye wonwabe kwimizamo yakho.