Ukuba "nengxaki yesazisi" kubonakala kuyinto eqhelekileyo xa ufikelela kubudala, usenokuba ukhe weva izinto ezinje: "ingxaki yesazisi kwi-40" okanye izinto ezinjalo. Mhlawumbi ukwazi oku, unoluvo oluncinci lokuba kuthetha ntoni ukuba nengxaki yesazisi, kodwa yintoni kanye kanye kwaye kutheni le nto abantu benamava olu hlobo lwengxaki yakho? Ngaba yinto eyenzeka kuphela ebusheni okanye kubomi babantu abadala?
Umxholo uvela emsebenzini wophuhliso lwengqondo u-Erik Erikson, Abakholelwa ukuba ukwenziwa kwesazisi lelinye lawona macandelo abalulekileyo obomi bomntu. Ngelixa ukukhula kwengqondo yesazisi kuyinxalenye ebalulekileyo yokufikisa, uErikson wayengakholelwa ukuba ukwakheka kwesazisi kunye nokukhula kuthintelwe ebusheni. Endaweni yoko, isazisi yinto etshintsha kwaye ikhule ebomini njengoko abantu bejongana nemiceli mngeni emitsha kwaye bajongana namava ohlukeneyo ... Ubomi yinto ephawula ubuni ebantwini!
Yintoni ingxaki yesazisi?
Xa umntu enengxaki yokuxhalaba mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba abaqinisekanga ngendima yabo ebomini, abazi ukuba yeyiphi eyona ndima yabo isendleleni. Ukuba ucinga awuyazi indima yakho ebomini emva koko unokuba uhlangabezana nengxaki yesazisi.
U-Erik Erikson waqulunqa ingxaki yesazisi kwaye wayekholelwa ukuba yenye yezona mbambano zibalulekileyo abantu abajamelana nazo kuphuhliso lwabo, hayi ebusheni kuphela. Ngokuka-Erikson, ingxaki yesazisi yingqungquthela yohlalutyo olunzulu kunye nokuphononongwa kweendlela ezahlukeneyo zokuzikhangela.
Inzala kaErikson yesazisi yaqala ebuntwaneni. Ephakanyisiwe njengomntu ongumYuda, u-Erikson wayebonakala kakhulu waseScandinavia kwaye wayehlala evakalelwa kukuba ungaphandle kwamanye amaqela. Izifundo zakhe zamva zobomi benkcubeko phakathi kweYurok eMantla eCalifornia kunye neSioux yaseMzantsi Dakota zanceda ukumisela izimvo zikaErikson malunga nophuhliso lwesazisi kunye nengxaki yesazisi.
Isazisi
U-Erikson uchaze isazisi ngolu hlobo lulandelayo:
"Ingqondo, kunye nomgangatho obonakalayo wokufana kunye nokuqhubeka, kudityaniswa nenkolelo ethile ekufaneni nasekuqhubekeni komfanekiso owabelwana ngawo wehlabathi. Njengobomi obungazi nto ebomini, oku kunokuqaqamba ngokucacileyo kumfana oselula ozifumene njengoko efumene ubudlelane bakhe. Kuyo sibona umanyano olwahlukileyo lwento enikwe ngokungenakuphikwa, oko kukuthi, uhlobo lomzimba kunye nomoya, izipho kunye nokuba sesichengeni, iimodeli zobuntwana kunye neenjongo ezifunyenweyo, ngokuvulwa kokhetho olunikezwe kwindima ezikhoyo, amathuba omsebenzi, amaxabiso anikezelwayo, bafumana iingcebiso., ubuhlobo obenziwe kunye nokuqala ukudibana ngokwesondo ”. (U-Erikson, ngo-1970)
Kule nkcazo yesazisi sikaErikson, siyabona ukuba "yinto yonke" yomntu ... yintoni emchazayo, yintoni ephawula indlela yakhe yokuziphatha ebomini, indlela yakhe yokucinga nayo yonke enye into.
Izazisi zichaza
Kumanqanaba e-Erikson ophuhliso lwengqondo, ukuvela kwengxaki yesazisi kwenzeka ngexesha lokufikisa apho abantu balwa iimvakalelo kunye nokuzazisa kuvela ebusweni bokudideka malunga neendima zentlalo. IbinguJames Marcia owandisile ithiyori kaErikson kwaye ngokutsho kwakhe noogxa bakhe, Intsalela phakathi kwesazisi kunye nokudideka ilele ekwenzeni ukuzibophelela kwisazisi.
UMarcia uphinde wavelisa indlela yodliwanondlebe yokulinganisa isazisi, kunye namazwe amane achongiweyo. Le ndlela icamngca imimandla emithathu yokusebenza: indima yomsebenzi, iinkolelo kunye neenqobo ezisemgangathweni, kunye nokwabelana ngesondo.
Isazisi sithi:
- Ukufezekiswa kwesazisi kwenzeka xa umntu eye waphonononga izazisi ezahlukeneyo kwaye wazibophelela kwenye.
- Ukunqunyanyiswa yimeko yomntu obandakanyeka ngokukuko ekuphononongeni izazisi ezahlukeneyo kodwa engakhange azibophelele.
- Inqanaba lokuxelwa kwangaphambili kuxa umntu eye wonakalisa ngaphandle kokuzama ukukhangela ukuba ngubani.
- Ukusasazeka kwesazisi kwenzeka xa kungekho ntlekele okanye isazisi.
Abaphandi bafumanise ukuba abo bazinikeleyo kwisazisi bahlala bonwabile kwaye basempilweni kunabo bangenalo. Abo banesimo sokungazazi bathambekele ekuziva bengekho ndawo kwihlabathi kwaye bangafuni ukuqonda.
Kwilizwe lanamhlanje eliguqukayo, iingxaki zesazisi zixhaphake kakhulu namhlanje kunokuba zazinjalo ngomhla kaErikson. Ezi ngxabano ngokuqinisekileyo aziphelelanga ebusheni. Abantu bahlala befumana amava kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo ebomini, ngakumbi ngamaxesha otshintsho olukhulu, njengokuqala umsebenzi omtsha, ukuqala kobudlelwane obutsha, ukuphela komtshato, ukuthengwa kwekhaya, okanye ukuzalwa konyana . Jonga izinto ezahlukeneyo kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zobomi, kubandakanya nendima yakho emsebenzini, kusapho, nakubudlelwane bezothando, inokukunceda ukomeleza isazisi sakho.
Iimpawu zentlekele yesazisi
Ukuba nengxaki yesazisi akufunyaniswa ukuze iimpawu akufuneki zisoloko zifana. Ngaphandle koku, kubalulekile ukwazi imiqondiso ethile ukuze wazi ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kuwe:
- Ubuza ukuba ungubani kwaye ubomi buhamba njani ngokubanzi kuwe.
- Ufumana ukungqubana kwabantu ngenxa yendima yakho eluntwini.
- Kukho iinguqu ezinkulu ebomini bakho ezichaphazela indlela oziva ngayo, njengoqhawulo mtshato.
- Ubuza imilinganiselo yakho, iinkolelo zakho, umdla wakho, okanye ubomi bakho bomsebenzi.
- Ufuna intsingiselo engakumbi, isizathu, okanye uthando ebomini bakho kuba uziva ungenanto okanye ungenaludwe.
Ukubuza ukuba ungubani na kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Ubomi buyatshintsha ngokunjalo nabantu. Iya kuba yingxaki kuphela xa le ngxaki ichaphazela iingcinga zakho okanye ukusebenza kwakho kwemihla ngemihla. Funa inkxaso kusapho nakwizihlobo zakho, kodwa ukuba uyabona ukuba imeko yakho okanye impilo yakho yengqondo iyenzakaliswa, kuya kufuneka ubonane nengcali.