Kule mihla, siva ngakumbi nangakumbi malunga nokuncamathisela kunye nendlela okunceda ngayo abantwana. Yindlela yotshintsho ekukhuliseni abantwana apho 'ukushiya' abantwana ukuba bakhule bomelele kwaye bazimele kungekho nto banokuyenza. Ukuncamathiselwa kunento yokwenza nokuxhomekeka kwangethuba ukunika abantwana amandla nokhuselo kwaye ngenxa yoko bakhule ngokuzimela, besazi ukuba banako kwaye banothungelwano olomeleleyo nolunganyangekiyo lwenethiwekhi.
Ithiyori yokuncamathisela ngumqondo kuphuhliso lwengqondo olubhekisa ekubalulekeni kokuncamathisela ngokubhekisele kuphuhliso lomntu. Yindlela umntu enza ngayo imvakalelo kunye nomzimba 'womdibaniso' nomnye umntu ukuze azive ezinzile kunye nokhuseleko oluyimfuneko ukuze akwazi ukuthatha umngcipheko, akhule kwaye akhule enobuntu obomeleleyo. Ithiyori yokuncamathisela inokuqondwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kwaye ihlala ingamava abantu ayinika intsingiselo.
UJohn Bowlby kunye nethiyori yokuncamathisela
Isazi ngengqondo uJohn Bowlby wayengowokuqala ukusebenzisa eli gama. Kwi-60s, wabeka umzekelo wokuba ukukhula kobuntwana kwakuxhomekeke ikakhulu kumandla omntwana okwenza ubudlelwane obuqinileyo nomgcini ophambili (uhlala engumzali). Izifundo zakhe kuphuhliso lobuntwana kunye nomoya wobuntwana wamkhokelela ekubeni agqibe ekubeni ukunamathela okuqinileyo kulowo umkhathaleleyo kubonelela ngemvakalelo yokuziva ukhuselekile.
Ukuba obu budlelwane abusekelwanga, ugqirha wezengqondo ufumanise ukuba umntu uchitha amandla amaninzi ebomini bakhe ekukhangeleni uzinzo nokhuseleko. Abantu abangenazo izinto eziqhotyoshelweyo bahlala benoloyiko kwaye bengathandi ukufuna nokufunda amava amatsha. Ngokwahlukileyo, umntwana onolwalamano oluqinileyo nomnye wabazali bakhe, Uyakuva amandla kunye nenkxaso ukuze ube nomoya wokuzimela nokuzimela.
Uphuhliso lwenziwa lula kubantwana abakonwabelayo ukuncamathiselwa kwabazali babo kuba bachitha ixesha bebuka kwaye benxibelelana nokusingqongileyo enkosi ngenxa yokuba iimfuno zabo kwangoko ziyaneliseka kwaye zichanekile. Ithiyori yokuncamathisela yenza kucace ukuba utata kufuneka anike inkxaso rhoqo kunye ukhuseleko ekuzalweni nakwiminyaka yokukhula yabantwana.
UMary Ainsworth kunye nokuziphatha kokuncamathisela
UMary Ainsworth wayeza kuphuhlisa uninzi lweembono ezivezwe nguBillby kwizifundo zakhe. Uchonge ubukho bento eyaziwa ngokuba yi 'attachment behaviour'. Ukuziphatha kokuncamathisela akufani nokuncamathisela ngokwako. Abantwana ababonisa isimilo sokuncamathisela ngabantwana abangakhuselekanga abanethemba lokuseka okanye lokuseka kwakhona ubudlelwane kunye nomongi oziva ukuba akekho. Oku kuziphatha ngokukaMary Ainsworth kuzelwe ebantwaneni.
Ngokukodwa, uchonge ubukho bento ayibiza ngokuba "kukuncamathela kokuziphatha," imizekelo isimilo esibonakaliswe ngabantwana abangakhuselekanga ngethemba lokuseka okanye ukuphinda baqalise iqhina kunye nomongi okhoyo ngoku. Kuba oku kuziphatha kwenzeka ngokufanayo ebantwaneni, yingxoxo enyanzelekileyo kubukho "bokuzalwa" okanye isimilo sokuziphatha kwisilwanyana somntu. Isifundo sisebenze ngokujonga isampulu enkulu yabameli babantwana abanamanqanaba ahlukeneyo okuncamathisela abazali babo okanye abanonopheli babo, ukusuka kwezincamathiselo ezinamandla nezisempilweni kubudlelwane obuthathaka.
Abantwana bohlulwe kubakhathaleli babo kwaye iimpendulo zabo ziye zajongwa. Abantwana abanezincamathelisi ezomeleleyo babezolile noko, babebonakala beqinisekile ukuba abo babakhathaleleyo bazakubuya kwakamsinya, Ngelixa abantwana abanezincamathelisi ezibuthathaka baya kulila kwaye babonakalise ukukhathazeka okukhulu ngokubuyiselwa kubazali babo.
Emva kwexesha kwakweso sifundo sinye, abantwana babonakaliswa kwiimeko zoxinzelelo ngabom, apho phantse bonke baqala ukubonisa isimilo esithile esisebenzayo ekutsaleni ingqalelo yabakhathaleli babo - umzekelo olungileyo wokuziphatha kokuncamathisela.
Amanqanaba ekubunjweni kokuncamathisela
Ukuqonda ngcono ukubunjwa okungaphakathi kokuncamathisela ebantwaneni, kuyafuneka ukuba wazi amanqanaba alolu hlobo. Ngale ndlela kuya kubakho ukuqonda isidingo seentsana nabantwana ukuba babe nebhondi esisigxina kunye nomgcini wabo ophambili ngokuziphatha kwabo kokuncamathisela. Amanqanaba okwenziwa ngawo.
Iinyanga ezi-0 ukuya kwezi-2
Kule nqanaba kukho ukuqhelaniswa nabona banonopheli, kukhupha imiqondiso eyenzeka njengonxibelelwano lokuqala. Usana luqala ukubazi abo bamkhathalelayo kwaye abo bamkhathalelayo bayazifanela. Usana luye luqhelane nalowo umgcinayo kuqala kwaye luqale ukwenza oko njengomzekelo wokulinganisa.
Phakathi kweenyanga ezi-3 ukuya kwezi-7
Ngeli nqanaba, abantwana baqala ukwenza umahluko kumlinganiso wokuncamathisela. Ukuziphatha komntwana kwahlukile kwabanye abantu kwaye uhlala efuna nje ukuba kunye nomntu ahlala naye ixesha elininzi, njengomama okanye utata, okanye bobabini. Ukuba abazali abekho ngaphambili, ungalila ukuba babuye.
Phakathi kweenyanga ezisixhenxe neminyaka emi-7
Ukuziphatha kokuncamathisela (okanye isimilo) kuvela kweli nqanaba. Kweli nqanaba, abantwana bafuna ukuba nabazali ngalo lonke ixesha. Bayakhasa okanye bahambe baye kubo, belila ukuze bafumane ingqalelo kunye neemfuno zabo zomzimba nezeemvakalelo. Uyaboyika abantu angabaziyo kunye nobukho babazali bakhe kunye okanye ngokwahlukeneyo babanikeze ukhuseleko kufuneka uzive uzolile ngaphakathi.
Ukusukela kwiminyaka engama-3
Kususela kwiminyaka emi-3 xa abantwana beqala ukulawula abanye kwaye bafuna ukubonisa inkululeko yabo. Ubudlelwane bujolise kukuzimela kwenkwenkwe kwintombazana. Inani lokuncamathisela liyaqhubeka nokubonelela ngokhuseleko oludingayo lokujonga umhlaba, kodwa kwangaxeshanye omncinci kufuneka abonise kwaye aqinisekise ukuzimela kwabo.
Iindidi zokuncamathisela
Ukongeza, iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokuncamathisela zingafunyanwa:
- Ukuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo. Abantwana bayamkhumbula umnakekeli wabo kwaye bayonwabile ukumbona kodwa baqhubeke nokudlala ngokuzolileyo.
- Ukuncamathiselwa kokuthintela ukungazithembi. Abantwana ababonakalisi ukungathandeki ngokwahlukana nomntu okhathalela kakhulu kwaye abamhoyi xa ebuya. Babonakala bezimele kodwa oku kuziphatha kuhlala kusisiphumo seengxaki ezincinci zeemvakalelo.
- Iziyobisi ezingakhuselekanga. Umntwana ubonakalisa uxinzelelo olukhulu ekwahlukaneni kwaye ufuna ukunxibelelana nomongi ophambili kwindlela ebuyayo kodwa akaqinisekanga. Ababonisi isimilo sokuhlola kwigumbi lokudlala ukuba umkhathaleli akekho.
- Uncamathiselo olungalungelelaniswanga Umntwana uneendlela zokuziphatha eziphikisanayo: ukudideka, ukoyika, ukuphazamiseka kwizenzo zabo, njl. Uneengxaki zolawulo lweemvakalelo kwaye zihlala zibangelwa luhlobo oluthile lokuxhatshazwa kwabantwana.