Kutheni le nto sigweba abanye?

Uninzi lwethu luzinika ilungelo lokugweba kwaye lube nembono malunga nendlela abanye abantu ekufuneka bacinge ngayo, benze ngayo, bazive ngayo, okanye bakhokele ubomi babo. Sicinga ukuba inyani yethu (emxinwa) iyasebenza kwihlabathi liphela, kwaye Sivame ukugxeka okungafanelanga umbono wethu okanye esingakuqondiyo.

Mhlawumbi, le vidiyo uza kuyibona apha ngezantsi iya kukunceda ukuba ube novelwano ngakumbi kwaye uthintele umnqweno wakho wokugweba abanye abantu.

Ukuba besisazi ukuba uhlangabezana nabani na esitratweni, unokuba novelwano. Ndikushiya le vidiyo ndiyathemba ukuba iya kwenza utshintsho kuwe:

[Unokuba nomdla: iindlela ezili-10 ezilula zokuba mnandi]

Ngokwenza oku, asinciphisi ngokungafanelekanga ubuntsonkothile bomnye, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba nje ukuba loo ngcinga yenziwe, siyakuthabatha ingqalelo yokukhethaOko kukuthi, sinike ingqalelo kwinto engqinelana nengcinga yethu malunga naloo mntu kwaye silahle ezingahambelani naloo ntelekelelo. A) Ewe, ukuqonda kwethu komnye kuya kusiba nzima. Umzekelo, ukuba siyakholelwa ukuba umntu uyaxakaniseka, siyakuhlala sigxila kuphela kwezo meko zingqina loo mbono, kwaye siyakuphuma kula maxesha abonisa into echaseneyo. Ngenxa yoku, sihlutha enye ingqokelela yakhe njenge kwaye siyayityeshela imbali yabo yobuqu, inkqubo yabo yenkolelo, inkcubeko yabo, inkolo yabo, imvelaphi yosapho, onke amava abo adlulileyo, njl.

Into enomdla kuxa siqonda ukuba ukugxeka esikubhekisa kwabanye kungqwabalala kanye njengoko sikubhekisa kuthi. Ngamanye amagama, umhlaba wangaphandle ngandlel 'ithile ubonakalisa umhlaba wethu wangaphakathi. Indlela esigweba ngayo abanye kukwandiswa kwendlela esizigweba ngayo. Kwaye abanye bethu baqhele ukugxeka kakhulu kwaye bafuna ngokwethu, kuyinto eqhelekileyo kulwakhiwo lwethu lokuqonda, kangangokuba singaqapheli.

Xa kunzima kakhulu ukujonga ngaphakathi kuwe, sisebenzisa iindlela zokuzikhusela ukuthintela ukuthatha iminqweno, iimvakalelo okanye iimpawu ezizezethu, zithathwa njengezingalunganga kumfanekiso wethu. Le nto ibizwa ngokuba ingqikelelo kwizengqondo kunye kubandakanya ukubeka okanye ukuqikelela komnye umntu into esingenako ukuyicingela eyethu. Kwangokunjalo, uCarl Jung wasebenzisa igama elithi "isithunzi" ukubhekisa kwizinto ezingamkelekanga nezingekho zingqondweni zobuntu bethu.

Ukuba siyakwazi ukwandisa ukuzazi kwethu kunye nokuguqula incoko yethu yangaphakathi, siya kuba nokunyamezelana nathi, kwaye oku kuya kudluliselwa kumbono wethu wabanye. Ukudibana ngakunye kusinika ithuba lokuphucula ulwazi lwethu, kuba kubonisa kuthi into esiyamkelayo nengayamkeliyo kuthi. Ngapha koko, ukuba sinyaniseke ngokwaneleyo kwiziqu zethu, siya kufumanisa ukuba ukugxeka kwethu abanye kusinika ulwazi malunga neziqu zethu kunabanye abantu. Yintoni egqithisile, Ngokwenza ezi mpendulo zingazi, siya kuqaphela ukuba intlawulo yeemvakalelo iyaphela.

Xa ufumanisa ugxeka umntu, yima okomzuzwana kwaye uzibuze ukuba yintoni ebangele le mpendulo komnye umntu. Okulandelayo kuza Iindlela ezintathu zokuzikhusela ezingaziwayo (iingqikelelo) ezinokuthi zichaze iimpendulo zamathumbu esiba nawo kwabanye abantu:

1. Ungaze nanini na kwaye ungaze unyamezele isimilo esifanayo okanye uphawu lobuntu kuwe. Umzekelo, cinga ukuba unomhlobo ongalungelelananga kwaye ulibale. Kwaye ukuba "isiphene" sakhe asinampembelelo imbi ngqo kubomi bakho, kodwa isibakala sokusibona siyakucaphukisa kwaye awazi ukuba kutheni. Ukuba ujonga emva kwibali lakho, uyakuqonda ukuba inento yokwenza nayo iintsomi zasekhaya zangaphakathi okanye imigaqo. Mhlawumbi kusapho lwakho, olu hlobo "lokungakhathali" lokuziphatha lwalujongelwe phantsi kwaye ke, kuye kwafuneka ukuba ucinezele kwaye ulawule le meko yobuntu bakho ukonwabisa abazali bakho. Inyaniso yokuba kuye kwafuneka ukuba wenze loo mgudu ngandlela thile ikwenza ukholelwe ukuba nabanye kufuneka benze okufanayo.

2. Ukuziphatha kwalowo mntu, isimo sakhe sengqondo, okanye iimpawu zomzimba ngokungazi zikukhumbuza ngomntu oye waba namava amabi ngaphambili. Inyani yokungabinakho ukucacisa la mava mabi yenza lonke ixesha udibana nomntu ongaqondanga ukuba udibana naloo mntu ubambe ingqumbo, Impendulo yeemvakalelo yokwaliwa iyenziwa iphinde isebenze.

3. Unqwenela ukuba wenze into efanayo kodwa ungoyiki. Uziva nomona Kwaye kuba loo mvakalelo kunzima ukuyamkela, uzama ukukhangela into engalunganga kwenye ukuze kungafuneki ujongane nokukhathazeka kwakho. Umzekelo, masicinge ukuba ungumntu oneentloni kwaye unomntu othanda ukuphuma phambi kwakho. Unokucinga: "Ukhohlakele kangakanani, uzama njani ukujonga!" Xa usezantsi, mhlawumbi ungathanda ukukhululeka.

Xa sikwazi ukuqonda ngcono kwaye wamkele zombini amandla ethu kunye nobuthathaka, hayi kuphela Sakha uvelwano olukhulu kuthi kodwa nakwabanye ngokubanzi. Ukwenza indlela esibagweba ngayo abanye akuthethi ukuba asizukukhetha. Kuqhelekile ukungahambelani ngokulinganayo nawo wonke umntu kwaye ezinye zeempawu zobuntu okanye isimilo asisitsaleli kangako. Kukho abantu esingaziva ngathi sinxulumene nabo. Kodwa xa sifumana uvakalelo olunamandla ngaphandle kwesizathu esivakalayo sokukuthethelela, kulapho kuya kuba yingozi. Kukho into engasonjululwanga apho ukungazi kwethu ukuzama ukunxibelelana nathi. Endaweni yokondla ngeemvakalelo ezingalunganga, kuluncedo ngakumbi ukuzibuza ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni ngaphakathi kwethu kwaye senze umsebenzi wokujonga. Inyani yokuqonda ukuba ingqondo yethu isebenza njani iyasivumela ukuba sikhule, kwaye ke sisondele kulonwabo nakwimpumelelo.

nguJasmine Murga