KwiGrisi yakudala, ukubekwa bucala kwakusenzeka xa kugwetywa abemi ababonwa njengabanokrokra okanye abayingozi esixekweni. Enye intsingiselo kuxa umntu ehlupheka ngokuzikhethela okanye ngokunyanzelwa ukuba ahlukane nobomi boluntu, exhaswa yimicimbi yezopolitiko. Kodwa, kwezi ntsingiselo zimbini, yintoni ukubekwa bucala kubomi banamhlanje?
Yintoni
Abantu bayindalo ngokwendalo kwaye umnqweno wabo kukuba kwiqela leqela loluntu, elinjengentsapho. Nangona kunjalo, kumaxesha amaninzi abanye abantu babekelwa bodwa ngokuzithandela ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo, abantu ababekelwe bucala ngokuchasene nentando yabo bakhutshiwe, into eyaziwa ngokuba yi "ukudala isithuba."
Izilwanyana zishiya ezona zibuthathaka ukuqinisekisa ukusinda kwezona zinamandla. Kuyafana nakubantwana abanonophelo lwasemini kunye neshumi elinesibini, abadlali bezemidlalo kunye nabasebenzi baseofisini. Ngokuqhelekileyo njengoko kunjalo, ukwaliwa kunye nokukhutshelwa ngaphandle kwenzakalisa nabani na ova ubunzima, nokuba badala kangakanani kwaye nokuba bakuliphi na udidi lwentlalo. Ukunyamezelwa ixesha elide, ukubekelwa ecaleni kwenza ukuba abantu bazive bedandathekile kwaye bengaxabisekanga, beyekile ukuba lilolo okanye ukufuna ukunyanyekelwa, kwiimeko ezinzima, bayazibulala okanye babulale. Yindlela egudileyo nengabonakaliyo yoxhatshazo.
Amanqanaba okwahlukaniswa
I-Ostracism inamava kwizigaba ezintathu. Kwinqanaba lokuqala, "kwangoko", umntu owaliweyo uziva iintlungu. Ayinamsebenzi ukuba ulahlwe ngubani okanye ubonakala ubumnene kangakanani. Uziva iintlungu zokungabandakanywa. Isivusi sihamba kwingqondo, kwainxalenye efanayo ebhalisa iintlungu zomzimba: ukuba ngumntu, ukuzithemba, ukulawula kunye nokwamkelwa uziva uhlaselwe.
Inqanaba lesibini lelo "lokulwa", elenzeka xa abantu befumanisa indlela "yokuphucula imeko yabo yokubandakanywa." Banikela ingqalelo kuyo yonke imiqondiso yentlalo; ziyasebenzisana, ziyahambelana kwaye ziyathobela. Ukuba into ilahlekile, bafuna ukufumana kwakhona ulawulo. Kwiimeko ezigabadeleyo, "banokuzama ukunyanzela abantu ukuba babakhathalele." Umzekelo, uhlalutyo lokudutyulwa kwezikolo olwenziwa ngo-2003 kwafumanisa ukuba abenzi bobubi abali-13 kwabali-15 babekhutshiwe.
Ukujamelana kufuna izixhobo zengqondo ... Ukunyamezela ukukhutshwa ixesha elide kuyadinisa. Kwaye abo banesi sifo baziva bedandathekile, bengenakuzinceda kwaye bephelelwe lithemba. Nokuba ukubhenela kokwala kunokubangela ezi mvakalelo. Eli iya kuba linqanaba lesithathu elaziwa njenge "ukurhoxa."
Yendele eluntwini
I-Ostracism ingene nzulu eluntwini kwaye kufuneka ijongiwe ukuze ingabi namandla kwaye ingonakalisi. Nangona abanye abantu befuna ulungiso olusemthethweni lokwahlula njengenye indlela yocalucalulo emsebenzini (ukuhlukumeza), kunzima ukubhala into engenzeki ... Umenzi wobubi angade ajike atyhole ummangaleli ngeparanoia.
Kukho ithemba ngakumbi ekuphuhliseni izixhobo zamaxhoba kunye nabanyangi ukuze bajongane neziphumo zecalucalism. Ukuqonda ngokubanzi nangokunzulu kunokunika ilizwi kule ndlela yokuthuthumbisa engabonakaliyo nengabonakaliyo.
I-Ostracism ke sisenzo sokungahoyi okanye sokukhetha kwaye sisithukuthezi esibuhlungu. Phantse akukho mntu ukhululweyo ekubeni azive elusizi okanye enomsindo xa ekhutshelwa ngaphandle okanye enziwe "engenanto" ngabanye abantu, nokuba liqabane labo okanye usapho. Umntu ofuna ukuya kwindibano yosapho kodwa engamenywanga uya kukhutshwa. Abantu bahlala befihla iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu ukuze bangabonisi ntloni okanye benze izinto zibe mbi ngakumbi.
Kukho abantu abadla ngokuzibeka ityala emva kokuba bekhutshiwe, nokuba bakholelwa ukuba kufanelekile ngandlela ithile okanye bayazibaxa izinto kwaye akufuneki bazive ngaloo ndlela. Amabinzana afana: "Musa ukuba ngumntwana onjalo", Ngumzekelo wokukhutshwa.
Kufuneka wenze ntoni xa ukhutshelwa ngaphandle
I-Ostracism ke ngoko luhlobo lokuhlukumeza kwaye kufuneka ujongane nayo ukuze ingachaphazeli ngaphezulu kokuyimfuneko. Nazi ezinye zeengcebiso onokuzigcina engqondweni:
Ayisiyoqhulo
I-Ostracism ayisiyonto yokuhlekisa kungoko kufuneka uyithathe ngokungathí sina. Ukuba uziva ungalunganga emva kokukhutshelwa ngaphandle awuyiyo neurotic kwaye awunangqondo ... ungumntu nje. Cinga ngeemvakalelo zakho ngengqondo ebuzayo, uqonde ukuba ukubekelwa bucala kukhona, ukuba kwenzeka ngokungacwangciswanga nangokuzimisela, kwaye kunokusetyenziswa njengesixhobo sokuqala ukugcina ucwangco kwiqela elikhupha abantu okanye umntu. Njengoko sicinga izinto, siba kude ngokwaneleyo kwiimvakalelo zethu ukuze sizole kwaye sigxile.
Thatha ngoburharha
Ukuba umntu ukhuphela ngaphandle kuba engakufuni ... Yintoni enye ekunika yona? Loo mntu uyayikhumbula! Ukuba umntu uthathe isigqibo sokungahoyi okanye ukukhuphela ecaleni, yeyiphi eyona nto imbi inokwenzeka? Kungcono ukuba uhleke kwaye uqonde ukuba loo mntu akakufanelanga ukubakho ebomini bakho. Ude akwenzele ubabalo, kuba uyenza icace kuwe ukuba ayikufaneli ixesha lakho lesibini okanye iingcinga zakho.
Cinga ngombono womnye umntu
Into yokugqibela engqondweni yakho ngoku inokuba novelwano naloo mntu okwenza ube lilize, kodwa ukuzama ukuqonda kwelinye icala kunokuba luncedo kakhulu. Oyena nobangela wokugxothwa ayonzakalisi umntu obekelwe bucala kodwa kukuzikhusela. Wonke umntu ulwa idabi lakhe elingabonakaliyo ...
Mhlawumbi i-ostracizer inesidingo esikhulu sokuthuthuzelwa ngomnye umntu ongenguwe. Mhlawumbi uyabamonela into ethile. Nangona esona sizathu singenakugqitywa ngokubanzi, iintlungu kunye noxinzelelo zihlala zibandakanyeka. Zikhusele, kodwa xolela xa unako ukuzikhulula kwintlungu ngokukhawuleza. Ukuba ubunomsebenzi kwaye nangasiphi na isizathu ushenxisiwe kuwo, musa ukuntywila, uphinde uzivuselele!
Nxibelelana nawe
Ukuba awukwazi ukuphinda uqhagamshele, gxila kuwe kweyona ndlela inothando nesondeleyo. Thetha nawe njengokuba unokuba ngumhlobo osenyongweni. Ukuba kunyanzelekile, khangela umhlobo osenyongweni oza kukuthuthuzela ngokweemvakalelo. Isitshixo kukuqinisa unxibelelwano lwakho ebomini njengoko lubonakala kuwe. Nokuba kwenzeka ntoni kubomi bakho boluntu, khumbula ukuba wahlukile kweli hlabathi.