"Ayikho into ekhululeke ngaphezu komcabango womuntu." UDavid hume
Bangaki kithi abangazange babe nomngane wokucabanga ebuntwaneni? Noma sike sabona izingane ezinabangani bokucabanga. Izikhathi eziningi sizibuze ukuthi ngabe lokhu kuyinto ejwayelekile noma ngabe kuyakhathaza? Ngabe kusho ukuthi ingane inenkinga yokuxhumana nabanye?
Kuvamile kakhulu ukuthi izingane zibe nabangane abangabonakali, Bangaba izidalwa ezingabantu, izilwane noma izinganekwane futhi zivame ukwenziwa ngokuya ngobulili babo, imvamisa amantombazane enza abangane besifazane nabafana besilisa.
Izingane zingachaza kalula ukuthi abangane bazo abangabonakali babukeka kanjani, baneminyaka emingaki, bunjani izici zabo nokuthi baziphatha kanjani, bangaxoxa nokuhlangenwe nakho noma izindaba abake bahlala nazo.
Iqiniso lokuthi izingane zinabangane abangabonakali akumele libonakale lisikhathaza, ngoba yize izingane zikucabanga lokhu ngokucace bha, ngokusho kocwaningo lukaTaylor noMottweiler, banokuqonda okucacile ukuthi abangane babo bokucabanga abekho, ukuthi bayiphupho. Kulolu cwaningo baphinde bathi kunjalo iphilile ekukhuleni kwezingane inabangane abangabonakali futhi akufanele kuqondwe njengento ethile ebangela ukukhathazeka noma okukhathazayo.
Kungani abangane abangabonakali bedalwa?
Ngokwodaba luka-2004 lukaTaylor M kwiDevelopment Psychology, Izingane ezingama-65% ezingaphansi kweminyaka engu-7 ubudala noma ziye zaba nabangane bokucabanga ngesikhathi esithile ezimpilweni zazo. Laba bangani abangacabanga bangaba nezingane uUmsebenzi wenduduzo, lapho bedlula ezimeni ezinzima, ubasiza ukubhekana nezikhathi ezinzima noma nokwesaba kwabo, ngoba ingane lapho ihlangana ingakwazi ukuveza kumngane wayo ocabangayo okuningi kokumkhathazayo futhi ngaleyo ndlela iveze umoya, izizwa futhi ihambisana lapho ibhekene nezimo esaba ukubhekana nayo yodwa, lokhu ezimweni eziningi kuzinikeza amandla amaningi okunqoba izehlakalo ezihlukumezayo.
Omunye umsebenzi obalulekile wabangane abacabangelayo yilowo womphakathi, kusukela ingane yenza izindlela zayo zokuxhumana nabanye abantu, yokufunda ukukhuluma ngokucacile, ukuveza imibono yayo, ukushintshana, ukusungula imidlalo nokunqoba izingxabano ngokuhlala nomlingani wayo oqanjiwe.
UDkt Karen Majors ukhulume eNgqungqutheleni Yonyaka Yonyaka Ka-2013 Yokwahlukaniswa Kwezemfundo kanye Nengane yeBritish Psychological Society ngezinzuzo zokuba nomngane ongamcabanga, ithi lokhu kuvusa futhi kusebenze umcabango nobuchule bezingane, kuzisiza ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwamaphupho nezinto ezingokoqobo, kuvuselele ukukhuluma kwangasese, kuzisize zilawule indlela eziziphatha ngayo, kusize ubungani, ubuhlakani ekwakheni izindaba futhi zifunde ukubhekana nezehlakalo ezintsha zempilo.
Yini okufanele uyenze nengane enabalingani bokucabanga?
Kubalulekile ukuthi ungazibuzi izingane kanzima ngobukhona babangane bazo abangacabangi, ngoba ekujuleni kwenhliziyo bayazi ukuthi ababona abantu bangempelaAkufanele sibabukele phansi noma sibaphike, lokhu kungavimbela imicabango yabo futhi izingane zingazizwa zikhungathekile.
Kumele siqaphele ukuthi singavumeli izingane zibalekele umthwalo wokuthatha amaphutha azo ngokuzinikeza abangane bazo abangacabangi (angizange ngiliphule ipuleti, umngani wami waliphula ...), kulezi zimo, Uma ingane ingalamukeli icala layo, singamtshela ukuthi axolise kuyena nomngani wakhe futhi bobabili bacoshe ipuleti ebeliphukile.
Ukuqaphela kuvame ukuba lusizo olukhulu, ngakho singathola ukuthi ngabe izingane ziveza izinto ezingakwazi ukuzisho ngomlomo ngokuxhumana nomngani wazo ocabangayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, iqiniso lokuthi bangathuthukisa ubuhlakani babo lizosiza njengethuluzi lokubhekana nezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zezinkinga.
Kumele sihloniphe isikhala sezingane ukuze sibe nabangane bazo abangabonakali bese siqala ukudlala nalokhu kuphela uma izingane zisicela, akufanele siphazamise kakhulu ukuzivumela ukuba zibe namandla okulawula, ngoba kuyiphupho lazo.
Masikhumbule ukuthi kujwayelekile futhi kunempilo ezigabeni zobuntwana ukudala laba bangani abangabonakali, akufanele sesabe noma sicabange ukuthi kuyinto ekhathazayo, kepha kufanele samukele izingane, sihloniphe imibono yazo futhi sizivumele zizilawule. .
Ngiyabonga kakhulu Dolores, ngokwabelana ngalolu lwazi olubalulekile, empeleni ngacabanga ngenye indlela, ngacabanga ukuthi kwakuwumsebenzi wethu ukufaka ezinganeni zethu ezingaphansi kweminyaka engu-7 ubudala, ukuyeka ukuba nalolu hlobo lwabangane.
Kuyaqondakala ukuthi izingane zigcina laba bangani, ukuze zifunde ukuxhumana nabanye abantu, ngicabanga ukuthi ngenkathi zihlukanisa iqiniso kusuka emcabangweni.