Abantu basebenzisa igama elithi "ubudlelwane" ngokujwayelekile futhi kubonakala kunencazelo yendawo yonke. Eqinisweni, leli gama lihlanganisa izinhlobo eziningi zokuxhumana kwabantu, kokubili ezothando nezingezona ezothando, futhi kungenzeka ukuthi abekho abantu ababili ababelana ngokuqonda okufanayo kwalokho okuchaza ubuhlobo.
Ubudlelwano yinoma yiluphi uhlobo lokuhlobana noma ukuxhumana phakathi kwabantu, kungaba okusondelene, okweplatonic, okuhle noma okubi. Imvamisa lapho abantu bekhuluma "ngokuthandana," the Igama libhekisela ohlotsheni oluthile lobudlelwano bothando okubandakanya ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, izinga elithile lokuzibophezela okuqhubekayo, nokuba nomfazi oyedwa (okungukuthi, ukukhethekile kwezothando nezocansi, lapho amalungu angenalo lolu hlobo lobudlelwano nanoma ubani omunye).
Izinhlobo ezahlukene zobudlelwano
Ubudlelwano bezothando bungathatha izinhlobo eziningi ezahlukene, futhi sizoxoxa ngalokhu ngokulandelayo.
ubudlelwano obuzibophezele
Ngokwengqikithi yabashadikazi, igama elithi "ebudlelwaneni" ngokuvamile lisho ukuba sebudlelwaneni bothando besikhathi eside, obuzibophezele. Ubudlelwano obuzibophezele yibo lapho abantu ababili noma ngaphezulu bevumelana khona qhubeka nobudlelwano ngekusasa elibonakalayo. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi laba bobabili bazoqhubeka nokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye, basebenzele ukukhulisa ubudlelwano babo, futhi baqhubeke nokukhulisa ukuxhumana kwabo.
Abantu abasebudlelwaneni obuzibophezele bangakhetha ukusebenzisa izihlonzi ezifana nesoka, intombi, noma okunye okubalulekile ukukhombisa ubudlelwano babo nabanye. Ebudlelwaneni bendabuko bomuntu oyedwa, ukuba sebudlelwaneni kusho nokuthi umaqondana uzothandana futhi ngokukhethekileyo ocansini, okusho ukuthi, ngeke babe nabanye abantu abathandanayo noma ocansini ngaphandle kwabo.
Ebudlelwaneni obungeyona indoda eyodwa, ukuhluka akudingekile. Umshado uwuhlobo lobuhlobo obuzibophezele lapho umbhangqwana uvumelana esidlangalaleni ukuthi bahlale ndawonye futhi bakhe isibopho esibopha ngokomthetho.
ubuhlobo obungenawo amalebula
Isimo ubuhlobo bezothando obungachazwanga ngokusobala, ngokuvamile ngokuzenzakalelayo. Ubudlelwano bungaba nezimfanelo eziningi ezifanayo njengobudlelwano obuzibophezele, kodwa abantu abahilelekile abakafaki amalebula ngamabomu kukho, noma ukugwema ukwenza izinto zibe nzima kakhulu, ngoba basahlonza ukuthi bafunani komunye nomunye, noma ngoba besaba kakhulu ukuzibophezela.
Ngokuvamile, izimo zivame ukuba nokubandakanyeka okukhulu ngokomzwelo kunobungani abanesimo sezinzuzo, kodwa hhayi imizwa yothando ecacile nokuzibophezela kobudlelwane obuzibophezele. Ngenkathi ubudlelwano obungenamaki busebenza kahle kwabanye abantu, kuvame ukwenzeka ngoba imvamisa laba bantu ababili abekho ekhasini elilodwa mayelana nabakufunayo noma ngenxa yokuthi ubudlelwano kufanele bube bufushane ngokwanele ukuthi angeke kube nandaba.
ubudlelwano obuvulekile
Ubudlelwano obuvulelekile wuhlobo lobudlelwano obuvumelanayo obungeyona indoda eyodwa lapho umlingani oyedwa noma abaningi benza ucansi noma behileleka nabanye abantu. Bobabili abantu bayavuma ukulala nabanye abantu ebuhlotsheni obuvulekile kodwa ingase ibe nemibandela noma imikhawulo ethile.
Ubudlelwano obuvulekile bungenzeka kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lobudlelwano bothando, kungaba nje, ukuqomisana noma umshado. Ubudlelwano obunjalo bungaba nezinzuzo, okuhlanganisa inkululeko eyengeziwe yobulili, nezingozi ezinjengomona nobuhlungu obungokomzwelo. Ubudlelwano obuvulekile buba yimpumelelo kakhulu lapho ozakwethu bebeka imingcele yomuntu siqu, ngokomzwelo, nangokobulili, futhi babonisane ngokucacile imizwa nezidingo zabo.
Ubudlelwano obuvulekile buyindlela yokuvumelana okungeyona indoda eyodwa. Nakuba kukhona ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo futhi ngokuvamile okungokomzimba phakathi kwabantu ababili abasebudlelwaneni, bayavumelana ngokusondelana nabanye ngaphandle kobudlelwane.
ubudlelwano obuncikene
Ubudlelwano obuncikene wuhlobo lobudlelwano obungasebenzi kahle futhi obungalingani lapho umlingani oyedwa encike ngokomzwelo, ngokomzimba, noma ngokwengqondo komunye umuntu. Kujwayelekile futhi ukuthi bobabili abantu abasebudlelwaneni bancike komunye nomunye. Bobabili bangashintshana ngokudlala indawo yokuba ngumnakekeli, ukushintshana phakathi komnakekeli nomamukeli wokunakekelwa.
Izimpawu zobudlelwano obuncikene zihlanganisa:
- Yenza njengomuphi kuyilapho omunye umuntu enza njengomamukeli
- Yenza konke ongakwenza ukuze ugweme ukungqubuzana nomunye umuntu.
- Ukuzwa ukuthi kufanele ucele imvume yokwenza izinto
- Ukusindisa noma ukutakula omunye umuntu ezenzweni zakhe
- Yenza izinto ezizojabulisa umuntu, noma ngabe zikwenza ungakhululeki
- Uzizwa sengathi awuzazi ukuthi ungubani ebudlelwaneni
- Phakamisa omunye umuntu ngisho noma engenzanga lutho ukuze azuze ukuthakaselwa nokutuswa kwakhe.
Kodwa-ke, akubona bonke ubudlelwano obuncikene obufanayo. Zingahluka ngokuya ngobunzima. I-Codependency ingathinta zonke izinhlobo ezahlukene zobudlelwano. Lolu hlobo lobudlelwano lwakhiwe ngokubambisana.
Nakuba umlingani oyedwa engase abonakale “eswele,” omunye umlingani angase azizwe ekhululekile ukudingeka. Umuntu okhululeke kakhudlwana edingeka, isibonelo, ungagwema ukugxila ezidingweni zakho siqu ukukhetha umlingani ohlale eyidinga.
Ubudlelwano obunobuthi
Ubudlelwano obunobuthi yinoma yiluphi uhlobo lobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu lapho inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo, ngokomzimba, noma engokwengqondo ibukelwa phansi noma isongelwe nganoma iyiphi indlela. Ubudlelwano obunjalo ngokuvamile bukwenza uzizwe unamahloni, ilulazekile, ingaqondwa kahle noma ayisekelwe. Noma yiluphi uhlobo lobudlelwano lungaba yingozi, okuhlanganisa ubungane, ubudlelwano bomndeni, ubudlelwano bothando, noma ubudlelwano bomsebenzi.
Ubudlelwano obunobuthi bubonakala ngoku:
- Ukuntuleka kokwesekwa
- Culpa
- Ukuncintisana
- ukulawula ukuziphatha
- Ukungahloniphi
- Ukungathembeki
- Ubutha
- Umhawu
- Ukuziphatha kwe-Passive-aggressive
- Ukuxhumana okubi
- Ukucindezeleka
Kwesinye isikhathi wonke umuntu osebudlelwaneni ubamba iqhaza ekudaleni lobu buthi. Isibonelo, kungenzeka ukuthi unomthelela ebuthi uma ozakwethu behlala bengemnandi, begxeka, bengavikelekile, futhi bengemuhle.
Kwezinye izimo, umuntu oyedwa osebudlelwaneni angase aziphathe ngendlela edala imizwa enobuthi. Lokhu kungase kube ngamabomu Kodwa kwezinye izimo, abantu bangase bangaqondi ngokugcwele ukuthi amazwi noma izenzo zabo zibathinta kanjani abanye abantu. Ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kwangaphambilini nobudlelwano, ngokuvamile ekhaya bekhula, bangase bangazi nganoma iyiphi enye indlela yokwenza nokuxhumana.
Lokhu akudali kuphela ukunganeliseki: ubudlelwano obunobuthi bungathinta impilo. Isibonelo, ukucindezeleka okubangelwa ubudlelwano obubi kunomthelela oqondile empilweni yenhliziyo nemithambo yegazi. Ukuzizwa uhlukanisiwe futhi ungaqondwa kahle ebudlelwaneni nakho kungaholela ekubeni nesizungu, okuye kwabonakala kunemiphumela elimazayo kokubili ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo.
Ubudlelwano obunobuthi bungacindezela, bube yingozi futhi buhlukumeze. Uma unobudlelwano obunobuthi nomuntu othile empilweni yakho, sebenzela ukwakha imingcele eqinile ukuze uzivikele. Khuluma nochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo noma ucabange ukuqeda ubudlelwano uma kukulimaza.