Kulesi sihloko sizochaza ongakwenza ukugwema ukudabuka noma ukudangala. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthi kufanele uphume endaweni yakho yokunethezeka futhi usebenzise ngokufanelekile amathiphu ayi-10 esizokunikeza wona kulesi sihloko.
1) Yiba nelukuluku
Ukufeza izinhloso zakho kuqala kusukela kwisisekelo sokunaka impilo, ezintweni ezenzekayo nakumuntu wakho uqobo. Lokhu kusho ukuhlela futhi qeqesha isimo sengqondo sokufuna ukwazi, sokusesha unomphela, sokufuna ukubabaza nokwazi izinto okufanele sizinake. Bese kulandela ukuthi "ukwazi", okusho ukuqonda isidingo sokujula, ukufuna nokusungula imihlahlandlela ekuvumela ukuthi uqonde futhi uhlanganise imizwa yakho, imicabango, izidingo kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho.
Ekugcineni, "ukuphaphama" kuzosho ukuhlala umzuzu ngamunye wazi ukuthi ungubani, yini oyidingayo noma ongathanda ukuyifinyelela ukufinyelela ibanga elilandelayo, ususungule, ngokusobala ngangokunokwenzeka, isilinganiso samanani akuvumela qaphela ingqikithi yakho yangaphakathi futhi ubone futhi uhloniphe lokho kwabanye.
Njengoba u-Anthony de Mello esho encwadini yakhe Ukuzikhulula kwangaphakathi, "Ukuhlala uphapheme kusho ukufinyelela esimeni lapho kunguwe osushintshile ukuze ufake iqiniso futhi manje ubona konke kucacile."
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2) Thola ukuthi yini oyifunayo ngempela.
Sikhuluma ngezifiso zangempela, lezo esizimisele ukuzilwela nokubeka amandla amaningi ukuzizuza. Okuthile okuhluke kakhulu ezinhlwini zezifiso zothando cishe esizenze sonke njengombhangqwana. Ukuphupha kuhle futhi kuyadingeka, kepha lapho sizonikela ngemizamo namandla ukufeza okuthile esikufunayo ngempela, kufanelekile ukuyeka isikhashana ngaphambili futhi sicacelwe ngalokho esizama ukukufeza. Okungcono futhi, yini esizoyizuza.
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3) Zibuze ukuthi uzozizwa kanjani unakho.
Vumelana; ufuna lokho okunegama nesibongo. Empeleni, ingabe uyayifuna ngempela? Ukuthola, kufanele ungene ngaphakathi.
Into enhle ngakho konke lokhu uma ucacile ngakho, ukuthi, empeleni, akunandaba ukuthi umgomo wakho unzima kangakanani. UViktor Frankl encwadini yakhe "Ukufuna Komuntu Injongo", isikhumbuza ngokubaluleka kwentando yethu. Ngale ndlela, lapho uthatha isinqumo sokulwela okuthile, kufanele wazi ukuthi into enengqondo ukuthi uyayithola. Ngakho-ke Kuhle ukuthi uyacacelwa ngokuzokwenzeka nokuthi uzozizwa kanjani uma ukufezekisa.
Okubaluleke kakhulu kuzo zonke lezi zingxabano injabulo. Uke wakucabangela yini ukufinyelela umgomo okusiza ukuba ujabule ngempela?
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4) Yazisa imiphumela ezoba nayo kwabanye.
Kufanele ungakhathaleli umona nokuthi bazothini, kepha kufanele ucabangele ukuthi abanye bazolimala yini ngempumelelo yakho. Imayelana nokuthola okuningi, kepha hhayi ngokulimaza abanye. Inkululeko yethu iphelela lapho kuqala khona umakhelwane wethu. Futhi, kunabantu abaningi kakhulu ngakithi ...
Uma unomzuzu, zama kodwa njalo ngenhliziyo yakho, bamoyizele. Into enhle ngezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu (njengale) ukuthi lapho unikela kakhulu, unakho okuningi. Isivumelwano sangempela! Ngiyincoma kuwe.
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5) Dala indlela efanelekile
Empeleni le yingxenye elula, okungenani yonjiniyela, abantu abathanda izindlela nezindlela zokupheka. Ziningi izindlela zokukusiza ufeze izinhloso zakho. Ngenxa yokuthi ilula futhi inamandla, mhlawumbe okunconywe kakhulu yi KHULA, ogama lakhe libhekisa ezinyathelweni ezine zohlelo olusekelwe kulo: Injongo (umgomo noma inhloso); Reality (iqiniso lamanje lapho kukhona, umhlaba esihamba kuwo manje); Izinketho (hlaziya izinketho ezahlukahlukene ezinikezwe thina ukufeza inhloso oyifunayo), futhi Ukugoqa noma Intando (isiphetho namandla). Lapha kulesi sigaba sokugcina kulapho uhlelo lokusebenza luchazwa ukufeza inhloso, lucacisa ukuthi ungenza kanjani ukunqoba izithiyo ezizovela ngokujwayelekile endleleni.
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6) Thola ukuthi yini ongayiphikisa
Inokuningi okuphathelene ne-R yendlela ye-GROW.
Ngendlela efanayo ukuthi kuhle ukucabanga ngabanye ukuthi ubahloniphe, kubalulekile ngokufanayo ukucabanga ngabanye singazivumeli sihlukunyezwe noma sinyathelwe ngamalungelo ethu. Ngikhuluma ngamalungelo ethu okuqiniseka.
Ukucabanga okubili okufushane maqondana nalokhu: eyodwa, ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi isitha sethu esikhulu kanye nemikhawulo yethu uqobo, sizincisha ilungelo lokufeza lokho esikufunayo, futhi okubili, lokho kwesinye isikhathi isitha akubona abanye, kepha isithombe sethu sabanye, okusishukumisela ukuba sizicabange zimbi noma zisongela kakhulu kunalokho eziyikho ngempela. Le nkolelo eyiphutha izosikhawulela futhi isuse amandla enjongweni yethu. Uma unokuncane, nikeza Izinkolelo ezingalungile lokho kwenza uDkt Albert Ellis adume (futhi kufanele).
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7) Gxila futhi ubheke isenzo
Gxila kokufanele ukwenze, sebenzisa, finyelela ephuzwini futhi ugweme ukuphambuka, ukuchitha isikhathi namandla. Yiziphi izinto zonke ngasikhathi sinye!
Empeleni umyalezo ulula njengoba unamandla: uma uwugqoka, uyawugqoka. Ususa iziphazamiso, uyeka umbhedo. Uma ufuna ngikutshele izinto ezithile ngayo, ngingakunika izinkomba ezithile:
* Gxila kulokho okudingeka ukwenze. Kunamathuluzi wokukusiza, njengemibuthano yokukhathazeka nethonya noma isenzo sokuqonda sokugxila kokukhiqizayo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukwazi ukuthi ungayenza lula kanjani, okuyithuluzi langempela, eliqukethe ukubeka phambili phambili nokwakha imikhuba emisha noma ukwamukela izindlela ezenza kube lula.
* Gxila esenzweni. Ukukusiza ukwamukela lo mkhuba, ungaba nokuvivinya umzimba okuhlukile, njengeqiniso lokugxila emsebenzini (wokugxila) noma inqubo yokusula isikhala.
* Hlela isikhathi sakho. Ukuze nginganwebeki, ngizokhuluma nje ngokubheka okuthile maqondana nalokhu. Okokuqala ukulungela kwakho ukwenza uhlobo oluthile lokuzivocavoca ekwabiweni kwangempela kwesikhathi ositholile. Okwesibili, kukwazise ngesikhathi esisilahlekelayo ngokuhlehlisa izinto futhi ungakhulumi nabo ngaleso sikhathi. Ngale ndlela kungenzeka ukuthi kugwenywe lokho okuzwakala kukubi kakhulu nokuthi manje bakubiza ngokuthi ukuhlehlisa izinto, okuyigama lesiSpanishi elifika kwiDikshinari yeRoyal Academy futhi okusho ukuhlehlisa noma ukuhlehlisa.
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8) Zethembe wena namakhono akho
Ngemuva kwengxenye yezindlela, kubalulekile ukubuyela kulokho okubaluleke kakhulu: wena.
Sesikhulume ngokufeza izinhloso ezisivumela ukuthi sijabule ngokwengeziwe. Ekugcineni konke kumayelana nento efanayo, mayelana nokulwela ukujabula nsuku zonke nakuzo zonke izenzo zempilo yethu.
Isisekelo okufanele sigcine injabulo yethu njengabantu siqala ngokuzikholelwa. Ukukholelwa kuwe kuyadingeka izidingo ezintathu: ukuzazi, ukuzemukela nokuzethemba.
Okumbili kokuqala kudinga isilinganiso esihle somsebenzi womuntu siqu wokuhlaziya, ukucabangisisa, ukubuka kanye nokuvuthwa. Zombili zingenye zezinto ezimbili ezibalulekile zobuhlakani obungokomzwelo. Kodwa kuthiwani ngokuzethemba? Noma abanye bengakukholwa, ukuthanda akulula. Ukuzithanda akushiyi ngaphandle ukuthanda abanye. Ngiyakuqonda futhi ngiyakwamukela ukuthi kufanele uthande umakhelwane wakho njengoba uzithanda wena, kodwa ingabe uyazithanda? uyazinakekela? Ngokwethembeka, noma ngingakwazi wena uqobo, ngicabanga ukuthi kufanele uzithande futhi uzinakekele. Isizathu, uma usidinga, silula: unaso kusiqubulo sokukhangisa esisizwa manje nsuku zonke: "Ngoba ukufanele futhi uyazi."
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9) Ungavumeli lutho lukudikibalise
Lapho ugqoka, ugqoka, futhi akukho lutho ngaphandle kwakho okuzokwazi ukukuvimba. Ngincoma ukuthi ungapheli amandla emzameni wakho wokuba ngcono futhi ujabule ngokwengeziwe, ngoba ukufanele futhi uyazi.
Ngikutshela okwami okuhlangenwe nakho. Ngaphezulu kweminyaka engamashumi amabili edlule ngathatha umsebenzi omuhle. Ngangizibona ngigugu kakhulu (ngangikufanele!). Inkinga ukuthi ngemuva nje kokujoyina ngabona ukulinganiselwa kwami, okwakungaphezu kwalokho engangikwazi mina, ikakhulukazi lapho ngangazi inani elingavamile labalingani bami. Ngangikhungathekile kakhulu futhi isimo esicindezelayo sabangela isivumelwano semisipha esibi entanyeni yami.
Ikhambi lami kwakuyimantra engangiziphindaphinda njalo kimi: "Ngeke bakwazi kimi". Ngakho-ke nginqume ukulwa nokuzibekela umgomo wokuthuthukisa amakhono ami amaningi ukuze ngibe nokuncintisana futhi ngiphumelele njengabo ngaphandle kokuziphoxa.
Mhlawumbe angikwazanga ukuchaza ukuthi ekuqhumeni kwami bekukhona ukunconywa kuphela kozakwethu. Ukuncoma okuqotho, ngaphezu kokukhungatheka okukhulu nentukuthelo ngenxa yokwehluleka kwami, kepha bengingafuni ukushiya phansi ukungabi namandla kwami okusuka enhliziyweni. Isihluthulelo bekungekhona ukuthi uzinikele futhi ungazikhiphi, kepha ukukhomba ngokucacile inhloso bese uyenzela ngaphandle kokwehluleka.
Kimi kwakuyisandla sosanta, futhi namuhla, iminyaka nezinkampani kamuva, ngisenobudlelwano obuhle kakhulu nobungcweti nabaningi babo. Ngiyethemba ukuthi okuthile kokuhlangenwe nakho kwami kungakusiza nakuwe.
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10) Yiba nohlelo B njalo
Uma kwenzeka izinto ziba zimbi noma kukhona okungahambi kahle. Uma ucacile ngakho futhi ubeka ingqondo yakho kukho, uzowufinyelela umgomo wakho. Njengoba uRichard Bach esho ngaphakathi Ibhuloho eliya kokungapheli:
"Ungafinyelela noma yimuphi umgomo ozibekele wona, kodwa, yebo, kuzofanele ukhokhe inani ngoba cishe akukho lutho olumahhala."
Mayelana nalokhu, nginokubheka okubili: okukodwa, ongakwenza, futhi okubili, ukuthi uma bekungumcimbi ongalindelekile futhi ngeshwa izinto ezikuphambukelayo, mane nje ube nolunye uhlelo olulungiselelwe.
Uma kunjalo, iseluleko sami sokuqala kungaba ukusihlanganisa nokukhala (i-duel, uyazi), ungapheli amandla futhi ngemuva kokomisa izinyembezi zakho, shiya ukumamatheka ukuze, lapho uzwile ngobunzima bakho, abangane bakho bakujabulele Isimo nezitha zakho ziyacasuka ngoba, uyazi, iqiniso ukuthi ungazuza konke obeka ingqondo yakho kukho. Ngakho-ke thatha lokho!