EGrisi lasendulo, ukukhishwa inyumbazane kwakuyilapho izakhamuzi ezazibhekwa njengezisolisayo noma eziyingozi edolobheni zazigwetshwa. Enye incazelo kulapho umuntu ehlushwa ukuhlala ngokuzithandela noma ngokuphoqelelwa empilweni yomphakathi, imvamisa egqugquzelwa yizinkinga zepolitiki. Kepha futhi, kulezi zincazelo ezimbili, kuyini ukukhishwa inyumbazane empilweni yanamuhla?
Yini
Abantu bangabantu ngokwenhlalo ngokwemvelo futhi isifiso sabo ukuba seqenjini lezenhlalo, njengomndeni. Kodwa-ke, ezikhathini eziningi abanye abantu bahlukaniswa ngokuzithandela ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukahlukene, abantu abahlukaniswe nentando yabo bakhishwa inyumbazane, okuyinto eyaziwa ngokuthi "ukudala isikhala."
Izilwane zishiya ezibuthakathaka ukuqinisekisa ukusinda kwezinamandla kakhulu. Kuyafana nasezinganeni ezinakekela izingane kanye nama-tweens, abadlali bezemidlalo, nabasebenza ehhovisi. Njengokujwayelekile kwabo, ukwenqatshelwa nokuvalelwa ngaphandle kulimaza noma ngubani ohlupheka ngakho, noma ngabe baneminyaka emingaki noma ngabe bakusiphi isigaba senhlalo. Ukubekezelela isikhathi eside, ukukhishwa inyumbazane kwenza abantu bazizwe becindezelekile futhi bengelutho, beyeke isizungu noma belangazelela ukunakekelwa, ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, baba ukuzibulala noma ukubulala. Kuyindlela eshelelayo nengabonakali yokuhlukumeza.
Izigaba zokukhishwa inyumbazane
I-Ostracism yenzeka ngezigaba ezintathu. Esigabeni sokuqala, "ngokushesha", umuntu onqatshiwe uzwa ubuhlungu. Akukhathalekile ukuthi ulahliwe noma ukuthi ubonakala umnene kangakanani. Uzwa ubuhlungu bokukhishwa inyumbazane. I-alamu iyakhala ebuchosheni, ingxenye efanayo ebhalisa ubuhlungu bomzimba: okwakho, ukuzethemba, ukulawula nokuqashelwa uzizwa uhlaselwa.
Isigaba sesibili leso "sokubhekana", esenzeka lapho abantu bethola ukuthi "bangasithuthukisa kanjani isimo sabo sokufakwa." Banaka zonke izimpawu zomphakathi; bayabambisana, bavumelane futhi bayalalela. Uma ukuba yingxenye kungasekho, bafuna ukuphinda bathole ukulawula. Ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, "bangazama ukuphoqa abantu ukuthi babanake." Isibonelo, ukuhlaziywa kokudutshulwa kwabantu ezikoleni okwenziwa ngo-2003 kwathola ukuthi abenzi bobubi abangu-13 kwabangu-15 babebekelwe bucala.
Ukubhekana nesimo kudinga izinsizakusebenza zengqondo ... Ukukhuthazelela ukukhishwa inyumbazane isikhathi eside kuyakhathaza. Futhi labo abahlushwa yiyo bazizwa becindezelekile, bengenakuzisiza futhi bephelelwe yithemba. Ngisho nokuthola ukwenqatshwa kungadala le mizwa. Lesi kuzoba yisigaba sesithathu esaziwa ngokuthi "ukwesula emsebenzini."
Kugxilile emphakathini
I-Ostracism ingene kakhulu emphakathini futhi idinga ukubhekelwa ukuze ingabi namandla kangako futhi icekele phansi. Yize abanye abantu befuna ukulungiswa kwezomthetho ngokukhishwa inyumbazane njengendlela yokubandlulula emsebenzini (ukuhlukumeza), kunzima ukubhala into engenzeki ... Umenzi wobubi angavele aphenduke asole lowo osolayo ngombono wokuhlanya.
Kukhona ithemba elengeziwe ekwakheni amathuluzi abo bobabili abahlukumezekile nabelaphi bokubhekana nemiphumela yokukhishwa inyumbazane. Ukuqonda okubanzi nokujula nakho kunganikeza izwi kule ndlela yokuhlushwa engazwakali nengabonakali.
I-Ostracism ngakho-ke isenzo sokunganaki noma ukukhipha futhi kuyisizungu esibuhlungu. Cishe akekho umuntu okhululiwe ekuzweleni ukudabuka noma intukuthelo lapho ekhishwa noma enziwa "angabi nalutho" ngabanye abantu, kungaba ngumlingani noma umndeni wabo. Umuntu ofuna ukuya embuthanweni womndeni kepha engamenywanga uzokhishwa inyumbazane. Abantu bavame ukufihla imizwa ebuhlungu ukuze bangakhombisi amahloni noma benze izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu.
Kunabantu abavame ukuzibekelela icala ngemuva kokukhishwa inyumbazane, bekholwa ukuthi bakufanele ngandlela thile noma ukuthi banehaba ngezinto futhi akumele bazizwe ngaleyo ndlela. Imisho efana: "Ungabi ingane enjalo", Kuyisibonelo sokukhishwa inyumbazane.
Okufanele ukwenze lapho ukhishwa inyumbazane
I-Ostracism ngakho-ke iyindlela yokuhlukumeza futhi kuyadingeka ukubhekana nayo ukuze ingathinti okungaphezulu kwesidingo. Lezi ngezinye zeziphakamiso ongazigcina engqondweni:
Akuyona ihlaya
I-Ostracism akuyona ihlaya ngakho kufanele uyithathe ngokungathí sina. Uma uzizwa kabi ngemuva kokukhishwa inyumbazane awuzwani neurotic futhi awuyiphutha ... Umuntu nje. Cabanga ngemizwa yakho ngomqondo obuzayo, uqonde ukuthi ukukhishwa inyumbazane kukhona, ukuthi kwenzeka ungahlosile futhi ngenhloso, nokuthi kungasetshenziswa njengethuluzi elidala lokugcina ukuhleleka eqenjini noma kumuntu ohlukanisayo. Njengoba sicabanga izinto, sifika kude ngokwanele nemizwa yethu ukuze sihlale sizolile futhi sigxile.
Thatha ngehlaya
Uma othile ekukhipha ngaphandle ngoba engakufuni eduze ... Yini enye ekunika yona? Lowo muntu uyakukhumbula! Uma othile ethathe isinqumo sokukuziba noma ukukukhipha ngaphandle, yikuphi okubi kakhulu okungenzeka? Kungcono ukuthi uhleke futhi ubone ukuthi lowo muntu akakufanele neze ukuba sempilweni yakho. Ukwenzela umusa, ngoba ukwenza kucace kuwe ukuthi akusifanele isikhathi sakho noma imicabango yakho.
Cabanga ngombono womunye umuntu
Into yokugcina engqondweni yakho njengamanje kungenzeka ukuthi uzwelana nalowo muntu okwenza ube yize, kepha ukuzama ukuqonda olunye uhlangothi kungasiza kakhulu. Imbangela enkulu yokukhishwa inyumbazane akulimazi umuntu okhishiwe kepha ukuzivikela. Wonke umuntu ulwa impi yakhe engabonakali ...
Mhlawumbe i-ostracizer inesidingo esikhulu sokuthuthuzelwa ngomunye umuntu okungesiwe. Mhlawumbe unomona ngawe ngokuthile. Ngenkathi imbangela ngqo ingeke yanqunywa ngokuvamile, ubuhlungu nokukhathazeka kuvame ukubandakanyeka. Zivikele, kodwa xolela lapho ungakwazi khona ukuzikhulula ebuhlungwini ngokushesha okukhulu. Uma ngabe ubenomsebenzi futhi ngasizathu simbe ususwe kuwo, ungaziki, uzivuselele!
Xhuma nawe
Uma ungakwazi ukuxhuma kabusha, zigxile kuwe ngendlela enothando nesondele kakhulu. Zilandise njengoba ubungaba ngumngane omkhulu. Uma kudingeka, thola umngane omkhulu ozokududuza ngokomzwelo. Isihluthulelo ukuqinisa ukuxhumana kwakho nempilo njengoba kwenzeka kuwe. Akunandaba ukuthi kwenzekani empilweni yakho yezenhlalo, khumbula ukuthi uhlukile kulo mhlaba.