«Ukuphumula okukhulu ukungabi necala. »UMarco Tulio Cicero
Ngokwesiko lethu, ukuzizwa unecala kungumuzwa ovame kakhulu ukubonwa, kudala usizi nokungaphatheki kahle ngokomzwelo ngenxa yokwazi ukuthi wenze izinto ezilimaza omunye umuntu.
Ngokombono wokuqonda, ukuzizwa unecala kungumzwelo abantu abanawo ngoba baqinisekile ukuthi badale umonakalo. Emcabangweni wokuqonda, imicabango idala imizwa, icala lisukela emcabangweni wokuba necala lomunye umuntu amashwa. Kungaba njalo ngabantu abahlala bezizwa benecala elingenasisekelo ngenxa yokuchazwa kabi kwezenzo zabo, Laba bantu bavame ukuhlupheka kakhulu futhi bazizwe benecala njalo ngaphandle kwezizathu zangempela noma ngaphandle kokuba necala langempela ngokwenzekile, kulezi zimo, imizwa yecala ayisebenzi.
Icala lingaba nezinzuzo njengokuvikela ubudlelwano bethu. Imizwa yecala yenzeka ikakhulukazi ebudlelwaneni nabanye, ngakho-ke kufana ne-alamu ngathi ukubona ukuthi yisiphi isenzo esifanele okufanele sisithathe ngakho-ke kuyasiza ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle nabanye.
Ngokwezibalo, ngesonto sithola amahora we-3 kuya kwayi-10 emizwa yecala, lokhu kungancishiswa ngezenzo, kepha uma kungancishisiwe, kufana ne-alamu engacimi futhi edala ukungakhululeki, evimbela ukugxila nokuthula , Yingakho kunconywa ukuthatha izinyathelo ezixazulula le mizwa, isibonelo ukuxolisa, yize lokhu kubonakala kulula kakhulu, akwenzeki njalo, ngoba kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ungaxolisa kanjani ngendlela eqinisekisayo.
Kunezinhlobo eziningi zecala, singazizwa sinecala ngento ethile esiyenzile, ngokuthile ebesifuna ukukwenza futhi ebesingakwazi ukukwenza, ngento ebesicabanga ukuthi siyenzile, ngokungasizi umuntu ngokwanele, ngokwehluleka amakhodi ethu wokuziphatha, noma ngokuba kangcono kunabanye abantu.
Enye into embi ngecala ukuthi kugwema ukucabanga kahleNgoba ukunakwa kwethu okuningi kungagxila kulokhu hhayi kwezinye izidingo zempilo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuba necala kudala imizwa yokuzilimaza kwabanye abantu, njengoba kungaba nomphumela wokuzijezisa ofuna ukukhulula umuzwa wokuzisola.
Icala linomphumela omubi wokudala ukuhlukaniswa kwabantu abalimele, Ngoba ukusondelana nabo kusebenza njengesikhumbuzo, ungahle futhi uye ezimeni lapho kwenziwe khona izenzo ezisenze sazizwa sinecala.
Ukwehlisa imizwa yecala, kubalulekile ukwamukela iqiniso lokuthi sithathe isenzo esithile esivele senzekile, sixolisa futhi sithole indlela yokugwema ukwenza isenzo esifanayo ngokuzayo. Ngenxa yenkambiso yethu yemvelo yokuzicabangela thina uqobo, sicabanga ukuthi abanye babheka kakhulu imicabango nezenzo zethu kunalokho ezikwenza, ngakho-ke nathi akufanele sizikhukhumeze kakhulu.
Ekwelapheni kwengqondo, ukwelashwa kwabantu abanemizwa engapheli yokuba necala okungadingekile kuvame ukufundisa abantu ukuthi balahle "imicabango yabo ezenzakalelayo" ebabangele nabanye ukuhlupheka. Bafundiswa ukuthi babone "isimo sabo sengqondo sokungasebenzi kahle" ukuze babone lapho bedlula ezinqubweni zengqondo ezinjengokuphazamisa noma ukwenza ngokweqile.
Kubalulekile ukuthi sifunde ekuziphatheni kwethu futhi sisebenzise umuzwa wecala ukuze sifunde kokuhlangenwe nakho, umqondo kungenzeka ube mancane amathuba okuthola izenzo ezifanayo ngokuzayo. Ngakho-ke, ukuba necala kungasisiza silungise amaphutha futhi sifunde ukuguqula izindlela ezithile zokuziphatha ukuze sizizwe sikhululeke ngokwengeziwe ngathi.
Fuentes:
-http: //www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201411/10-surprising-facts-about-cala
-http: //www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201208/the-definitive-guide-guilt
-http: //www.beyondintractability.org/essay/guilt-shame
-http: //psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/11/27/5-tips-for-dealing-with-guilt/
-http: //datingtips.match.com/deal-guilt-after-cheating-13197052.html