Ingabe ungumuntu onokubonga? Ingabe uyakwazisa onakho? Kule ndatshana ngikhuluma ngokubaluleka kwe- wazise izinto ezincane futhi of nika ukubonga ngabo.
Ngaphambi kokufunda le ndatshana, ngikumema ukuthi ubuke le vidiyo emfushane asinika yona esinye sezikhiye zokujabula.
Kule vidiyo basitshela ukuthi ososayensi bathole enye yezikhiye zokujabula. Ngabe ufuna ukwazi ukuthi uyini lowo khiye? Naka ividiyo:
[Ngincoma ukuthi "Jabula ngezinkinga"]
Ungakusho lokho ukubonga kusebenza njengesihlunu. Uma usuku nosuku besizinika isikhathi sokubona ukubaluleka kwalokho esinakho, imizwa yokubonga nokwazisa ibingakhula kakhulu. Empeleni, abantu ababonga kakhulu yibo abazothola izinzuzo ezinkulu kakhulu, uma benze umzamo wokuqonda ngokwengeziwe okubazungezile. "Ukwelashwa okusekelwe ekubongweni kuphumelela kakhulu kulabo abangenakho ukubonga okukhulu"kusho uPhilip Watkins, uprofesa wesayensi yezengqondo e-Eastern Washington University.
Njengamanje, ukubonga ezinganeni kuyinkambu yocwaningo imiphumela yayo yakamuva ekhombisa lokho indima yabazali ibalulekile ekukhuthazeni lesi simo sokwazisa.
Olunye lwezifundo olwenziwe kule ndawo, noluzoshicilelwa kulo nyaka ku Ukubuyekezwa KweSikole Psychology (Ijenali yeSchool Psychology), iyona eyenziwa nayo iqembu lezingane eziyi 122 zamabanga aphansi. Kwaphela isonto, laba bafundi balandela uhlelo lwezifundo lapho bafunda khona imiqondo ephathelene nokuphana nokutshalwa kokubonga. Kwenzekani ngemuva kwalokho? Ukuthi izingane ezingama-44% ebeziyingxenye yalolu hlelo zikhethe ukubhala izincwadi zokubonga lapho zinikezwa ithuba, ngemuva kwesethulo seNhlangano Yabazali. Kodwa-ke, kweqembu elilawulayo, bekungabafundi abangama-25% kuphela abakhethe ukubhala lolu hlobo lwencwadi.
"Isisho esidala esithi ubuhle bufinyelelwa, akufundiswa, yilokho okwenzeka lapha"kusho uRobert Emmons, uprofesa wesayensi yokusebenza kwengqondo e-University of California. Abazali kufanele babe yizibonelo ezinganeni zabo kulokhu kuziphatha, uma ufuna ukudala kubo imisipha yokubonga. "Yize kungumbono abavamise ukuthanda ukuzwa, abakwazi ukunika izingane zabo okuthile abangenakho"kusho uDkt Emmons.
“Kubonakala kusobala ukuthi lokhu kubunjwa kwabazali kuyadingeka; kodwa-ke, iningi labo alinakwa "kusho uWatkins. "Ngicabanga ukuthi into ebaluleke kunazo zonke kungaba ukuthi thina bantu abadala siqale ukubona ukuthi nathi asibongi kakhulu ", uyanezela.
Ngokuya ngocwaningo, isenzo esilula sokubonga siletha izinzuzo ezibonakalayo. Ucwaningo lwango-2008, olushicilelwe ku- Ukubuyekezwa KweSikole Psychology, kuhlaziywe izingane ezingama-221 zebanga lesithupha nelesikhombisa. Babehlukaniswe ngamaqembu amabili kanti ngamunye wanikezwa umsebenzi. Iqembu lokuqala lacelwa ukuba libhale phansi, usuku ngalunye amasonto amabili, izinto ezinhlanu ababonga ngazo. Iqembu lesibili nalo licelwe ukuthi lenze uhlu, kodwa libala izinto ezinhlanu ezibakhathazayo. Umphumela waba ukuthi, ngemuva kwalawo masonto amabili umsebenzi uthathe, iqembu lokuqala lakhombisa isimo sengqondo esihle ngokwengeziwe ngesikole nokwaneliseka okukhulu ngempilo yabo, uma kuqhathaniswa neqembu obekufanele libhale izikhalazo ezinhlanu.
Ukuthanda izinto ezibonakalayo nokubonga
Ukuthenga nge-inthanethi Basivumela ukuthi sithole esikufunayo ngendlela elula futhi esheshayo; okwenza kube nzima kakhulu kithi ukubona ukubaluleka kwezinto eziningi zalezi zinto. “Namuhla, uma enye yezingane zakho ifuna izicathulo, iya kuwebhu, ukhethe usayizi nombala bese uzithola ekhaya ngakusasa. Abatholi "ukuzifuna" noma ukubeka phambili ezinye izinto, ngokucindezela inkinobho onayo ". Kusho uWilly Walter, umqondisi wefemu iWalter & Dunlop e-United States.
Ngokusho kukaJeffrey Froh, ongumlobi ohlangene kanye noprofesa osebenzisana naye we-psychology eHofstra University, intsha evame ukuthenga ku-inthanethi futhi yamukele ngempumelelo lokho abakufunayo ijwayele ukukhombisa amazinga aphezulu okudangala, isimo sengqondo esingesihle nemiphumela emibi yezifundo. "Ukuthanda izinto ezibonakalayo kunomphumela ophambene nokubonga"kusho uJefferey.
Inani lezinto ezincane
Ngokusho kwabaphenyi, izenzo zansuku zonke zingabaluleke kakhulu kunemizamo emikhulu. "Bonga umlingani wakho noma izingane zakho"kusho uDkt Hofstra Froh. “Kungani ubonga indodana yakho ngokwenza okuthile okufanele ikwenze? Ngoba ngale ndlela uyamqinisa, ufunda ngaphakathi, ngokwesibonelo, ukuthi kufanele ahlanze igumbi lakhe, bese eqala ukuzenzela yena uqobo "kwengeza uHofstra.
Ukunikeza ukubonga, ukwazisa esinakho nokubona ukubaluleka kwako, kuyinto abantu abadala okufanele baqale ukuyenza.. Mhlawumbe sinabo "othisha" eduze kunalokho esicabanga ...
"Izingane zinobudlelwano bemvelo bokubonga futhi imvamisa yizo ezifundisa abazali bazo ngakho"kusho u-Emmons. Fuente