Konke, ngezinga elincane noma elikhulu kakhulu, kube yizisulu zobushiqela bothando, bokuzwa ukuthi sonke isiqu sethu sinikezwa kanjani umuntu ongasinaki isipho esinjalo esingazi lutho. Namuhla sizobona izinhlangothi ezimbili zohlamvu lwemali olufanayo. Sizozibeka esimweni sabashadikazi lapho omunye wabo engathandi ngokwanele kanti omunye umuntu unikela ngakho konke.
Kepha ngaphambi kwalokho, Ngikumema ukuba ubone okufushane okuhle kakhulu okukhombisa ukuthi uthando nokuntuleka kothando kuqukethe ini. kuyinsumansumane yokufundisa ukuthi ingane encane ingaqonda.
Le vidiyo kufanele ifakwe kuzo zonke izikole ukuze ibe yingxenye yesifundo, okufanele ngabe siyimpoqo, esibizwa "Imfundo yezemizwa":
UNGATHANDA UKUTHOLA «amathiphu ayi-8 okuphuma ekucindezelekeni kothando»
Wake waba yisisulu empilweni yakho ye uthando olungathandeki?
Ngihlupheke kaningi. Bobabili babefunda ekolishi futhi babengithanda… njengomngani. Ngabe kukhona okunye okululaza owesilisa kunowesifazane othandana naye ngokuphelele okutshela ukuthi ngiyakuthanda kodwa njengomngani?!?!?!!
Kodwa-ke, kule ndatshana ngizogxila othandweni olucashile olungafuneki: lolu olwenzeka phakathi kwezithandani.
Cabanga ngezinhlobo ezimbili ezilandelayo zobudlelwano
1) Umlingani wakho unawe kepha akakuthandi kakhulu.
2) Umlingani wakho ukuthandana ngokuphelele, kepha wena awumthandi kakhulu.
Ake ngikutshele okuthile. U-Alberto, ohlukanisile, cishe uneminyaka engama-45 ubudala. Ubeshade iminyaka engu-12 kodwa ekugcineni Ugcine eshiye unkosikazi wakhe (uMaria) yize ebemthanda futhi wakujabulela ukuba nabo. Kodwa-ke wayengamthandi kakhulu.
Ngemuva kokwehlukana kwabo, waba nobudlelwano obuningana nabanye besifazane kepha ekugcineni wanquma ukubuya noMaria.
"Lona ngumfazi engifuna ukuhlala naye"wathi ngelinye ilanga. Ngimkhumbuze ngalokho angitshele khona esikhathini esedlule, ukuthi wayengamthandi ngokwanele ukuba abe naye. Ephendula waphendula wathi, "Yebo, kodwa uyangithanda njengoba kungekho muntu owake wangithanda, futhi yilokhu okubalulekile kimi." Eqinisweni, wabuza umkakhe umbuzo: "Kungani ufuna ukuba nami, wazi ukuthi angikuthandi njengoba ungithanda nami?" Uphendule ngokuthi uncamela ukuba nomuntu amthanda kakhulu hhayi enye indlela. Uncamele isikhundla sakhe kunesakhe.
Yini ongakhetha kuyo?
Uma ucabanga ngalezi zinketho, ungakhetha yiphi? Ika-Alberto noma ekaMaría? Ngikholwa ukuthi izimpendulo zizohlukaniswa.
Lapho bekhuluma ngothando olungathandeki, abantu bavame ukubhekisa kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu sonke esikwaziyo. Kodwa-ke, lawa macala ajwayelekile kakhulu kunalawo lapho kukhona ama-nuances amaningi: lapho abantu ababili bethandana, kepha uhlobo nokuqina kothando kwehlukile.
Njengasesibonelweni sethu, ngenkathi emthanda ngokweqile, u-Alberto akamthandi kangako. Kukhona iphuzu lokuqina kothando ngezansi okungakufanele ukuba ndawonye, kepha imizwa yakhe ingaphezu kwaleli phuzu.
Yazi umehluko ngokuqina kothando kungaba buhlungu ngoba kusho ukuthi omunye wabalingani kulowo mbhangqwana akathandwa kangako futhi kusho uhlobo oluthile lokwenqatshwa.
Ububi esimweni sika-Alberto busho dela iphupho lomuntu elibalulekile: ukuthandana nothile ngobuhlanya. Kodwa-ke, isimo sakhe siphambene: usothandweni kepha usengozini enkulu futhi akavikeleki ebudlelwaneni bakhe no-Alberto.
U-Alberto usilawula kangcono lesi simo, angaqhubeka nalobu budlelwano noma nini lapho ethanda, ngoba uthando lomkakhe lucishe lwaqinisekiswa. U-Alberto uyayekethisa okwamanje, ukuze aqinisekise ikusasa lakhe. Umnika ukulawula ikusasa lakhe ukuze ajabulele uthando olujulile okwamanje.
Labo abakhetha isikhundla sakhe banethemba lokuthi bazokwazi ukushintsha isimo sengqondo sozakwethu ngabo. Leli themba lihlobene nenkolelo ejwayelekile yokuthi umhlaba ngokwawo uyalawuleka, nokuthi ikhono lakho lokulawula imicimbi elikuzungezile lihlukile.
Isimo somqondo ka-Alberto sizolile kunesikaMaria. Yize engagculiseki ngezikhathi ezithile neqiniso lokuthi aluzwa uthando lweqiniso, uluthanda uthando lomkakhe futhi ikusasa lakhe liqinisekile. Isimo sakhe sengqondo asizinzile kangako njengoba sifaka imizwa emihle kakhulu (enjengothando) nemizwa engemihle (njengokwesaba nokukhungatheka). Ukukhathazeka okuhambisana nalokhu kungqubuzana kwemizwelo kungagcina kumshisa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nothando lwakhe ngo-Alberto lungancipha.
Abantu abanokuthambekela okuningi kobugovu kungenzeka bathande isikhundla sika-Alberto ngoba bakholelwa ukuthi ngeke babe nobunzima ekutholeni umlingani omusha. Abantu abanengqondo eningi bangafuna nendima ka-Alberto, kuyilapho abantu abaningi abathandanayo bengaya endimeni yenkosikazi.
Ubudala bungaba enye into efanele kulokhu: abantu abadala, abanemizwa yothando eyehlayo, bavame ukukhetha isimo sika-Alberto ngoba bakhetha "umlingani othandana naye."
Ngokufingqa, imvamisa umfutho wothando awulingani phakathi kwabathandi, ngakho-ke abathandi kufanele babhekane nokwehluka okunjalo.
Nawe? Iyiphi inketho ongayikhetha?
"Abantu abaningi bakuthola kunzima ukuzivumela bathandwe kunokuthola umuntu obathandayo." UBill Russell
Sawubona, nginguTheresa Williams Ngemuva kokuthandana no-Anderson iminyaka, wehlukana nami, ngenza konke okusemandleni ukumbuyisa, kodwa konke kwaba yize, ngangifuna abuye kakhulu ngenxa yothando enginalo ngaye, ngamncenga ngakho konke, ngenza izethembiso kodwa wenqaba. Ngichazile umngani wami inkinga yami futhi wasikisela ukuthi ngingavele ngithinte ispell caster esingangisiza ngithakathe ukuze ngiyibuyise, kepha ngingumuntu ongakaze akholelwe kulomlingo, bengingenayo enye indlela ngaphandle kokuzama .pell caster wangitshela ukuthi akukho nkinga yokuthi konke kuzolunga zingakapheli izinsuku ezintathu, nokuthi i-ex yami izobuyela kimi zingakapheli izinsuku ezintathu, yaphonsa futhi ngokumangazayo ngosuku lwesibili, kwakuyizithuba zabo-4 ntambama. U-ex wami wangishayela ucingo, ngethuka kakhulu, ngaphendula ucingo futhi konke akusho ukuthi wayezisola kakhulu ngakho konke okwenzekile ukuthi ufuna ngibuyele kuye, ukuthi ungithanda kakhulu. Wayejabule kakhulu futhi kwaba yindlela esaqala ngayo ukuhlala ndawonye, sijabule futhi. Kusukela lapho, ngenze isethembiso sokuthi noma ngubani engimaziyo onenkinga yobudlelwano, ngizoba wusizo kumuntu onjalo ngokumdlulisela kumuntu ongukuphela komlingo weqiniso futhi onamandla ongisizile enkingeni yami. I-imeyili: (drogunduspellcaster@gmail.com) ungamthumelela i-imeyili uma udinga usizo lwakho ebudlelwaneni bakho noma kwelinye icala.
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