Ofarfin tunani mara kyau

Tsarin Kirsimeti yana haifar da da hankali. Kirsimeti hutu ne wanda farin cikin ya kamata ya mamaye shi. Koyaya, thearin ƙoƙari don yin farin ciki a waɗannan kwanakin na iya gajiyarwa. Da wuya ka yi farin ciki lokacin da ka rasa ƙaunataccenka ko yayin cin abinci tare da wannan surukin ba za ka haɗiye shi ba.

Masana halayyar dan adam suna ba mu shawara muyi tunani mai kyau amma wani lokacin wannan yana iya komawa baya. Yana kama da lokacin da suka gaya maka kada ka yi tunanin farin bear. Da zarar kuna ƙoƙari, yawancin farin beyar ya bayyana.

Me yasa 'yan ƙasa mafi ƙasƙancin ƙasashe masu fama da matsalar tattalin arziki ke yawan bayar da rahoton wani babban abin farin ciki? Ba su da abin da za su rasa, sun riga sun san mafi munin yanayi.

Wani majagaba na "mummunar hanya" shine masanin halayyar ɗan adam Albert Ellis (ya mutu a 2007). Ya sake gano wata mahimmin ra'ayi na masana ilimin Stoic na tsohuwar Girka da Rome: wani lokacin, hanya mafi kyau don magance makomar da ba ta da tabbas ita ce mayar da hankali ga mafi kyau, amma mafi munin.

Don shawo kan tsoron abin kunya, Ellis ya shawarci kwastomominsa da su hau jirgin karkashin kasa na New York tare da kiran sunayen tashar yayin da suke bi ta cikinsu. Marasa lafiyar sa sun sha wahala amma sun gano hakan an kara girman tsoronsa: ba wanda ya ce musu komai, kawai sun sami ban mamaki.

Stoics sunyi aikin da ake kira "The premeditation na Milsnãnan ayyuka": sunyi tunani game da kowane daki-daki game da mummunan yanayin, wanda ya rage damuwarsu sosai.

Masanin ilimin halayyar dan adam Julie Norem ya kiyasta cewa kusan kashi ɗaya cikin uku na Amurkawa suna amfani da wannan dabarar da ta kira "Rashin tsammani na tsaro". Kyakkyawan tunani, a gefe guda, ƙoƙari ne don shawo kan kanka cewa abubuwa za su tafi daidai, wanda zai iya ƙarfafa imanin cewa zai zama mummunan abu idan abubuwa ba daidai ba.

A cikin kamfanonin Amurka, koyarwar da aka fi yarda da ita ita ce ta "al'adar kirkiro." An ƙarfafa mahimmancin saita manyan, maƙasudai masu ƙarfi ga ƙungiya da ma'aikata ana tilastawa (ko tilasta su) don saita maƙasudai waɗanda suke "wayayyu": takamaiman, gwargwado, cimmawa, dacewa, kuma a kan kari.

Koyaya, wannan gyaran burin ya fara warwarewa. A yayin binciken da aka yi kan lamarin, an yi hira da 'yan kasuwa 45 masu nasara. Kusan babu wanda ya aiwatar da cikakken tsarin kasuwanci ko aiwatar da bincike na kasuwa mai yawa.

Wasu daga cikinsu sunyi tunanin mummunan yanayi. Maimakon mayar da hankali kan yiwuwar samun kyautuka na ban mamaki ga kamfanin ku, sun kirga abin da kudin kuɗi na mummunan yanke shawara zai kasance. Idan za a iya jurewa asarar da aka yi, sun yanke shawara.

Ma'anar wannan mummunan tunanin ba shine tsokano motsin rai ko neman nasara ba. Yana da game da haƙiƙa ta yarda da gaskiyar cewa nan gaba bai tabbata ba kuma wannan rayuwar akwai abubuwan al'ajabi da babu makawa, masu kyau da marasa kyau.

Ofarfin tunani mara kyau yana da mahimmanci musamman lokacin da muke magana game da gaskiyar al'amarin rayuwa: mutuwa. Ofayan shahararrun jumla na Steve Jobs yana da alaƙa da wannan yanayin:

Tunawa da cewa zaku mutu shine mafi kyawun hanyar dana sani don gujewa tarkon tunanin cewa kuna da wani abu da zai rasa.

Koyaya, muna iya jarabtar mu yarda da Matsayin Woody Allen akan mutuwa:

"Ina matukar adawa da ita."

Ina tsammanin ya fi kyau a fuskance shi fiye da guje masa. Akwai wasu hujjoji a rayuwa wadanda hatta kyakkyawan tunani mai kyau ba zai iya canza shi ba.