Kishi yana daga cikin manyan matsalolin da zasu iya haifar da hutu da wannan mutumin da muke ƙauna ko kuma wancan aboki wanda koyaushe yake tare da mu. Wannan shine dalilin da yasa zamu taimaka muku koya yadda za a daina hassada ko hassada, kuma saboda wannan kawai za kuyi la'akari da jerin mabuɗan duniya waɗanda ke aiki cikakke ga kowa da kowane nau'in ma'amala.
Kishi da matsalolin rashin tsaro
Da farko dai, dole ne ya zama a sarari cewa kishi yana da kusanci da shi matsalolin rashin tsaro har ma tare da batutuwan kai-da-kai. Saboda wannan dalili, hanya mafi kyau don 'yantar da kanmu daga kishi, ko mu maza ne ko mata, shine ta hanyar bi da waɗannan halayen halayenmu.
Wato, ya zama dole mu fara kimanta kanmu, mu kara fahimtar junanmu kuma mu kasance a sarari cewa abu mafi muhimmanci da zamu samu a rayuwarmu duka shine kanmu, ta yadda duk abin da ke kewaye da mu zai iya samun matukar mahimmin ƙima tunda mu Yana bayar da fa'idodi da yawa kamar jin ana ƙaunarku, amma ba game da wasu abubuwa na musamman bane, ma'ana, idan mutum baya son kasancewa tare da mu, za'a sami wani wanda zaiyi, don haka ba namu bane matsala, amma kai tsaye kowane mutum yana da 'yancin yin farin ciki ta hanyar da suka ga ya fi dacewa.
Saboda haka, idan mutum ya yanke shawarar ba zai kasance tare da mu ba, wannan ba yana nufin ba mu da ƙima a matsayinmu na mutum ba, ko kuma mu munana ne ko wani abu makamancin haka ba, amma ya buɗe wasu ƙofofin ta wannan hanyar daga yanzu kan mu Zamu iya bude sababbi wadanda tabbas zasu kaimu ga babban farin ciki.
Da wannan duka muke so mu fada muku cewa dole ne ku ajiye rashin tsaro a gefe, saboda muddin kuna da nutsuwa da mutunci, girman kanku kuma kuna iya tabbatar da tsaronku, idan wannan mutumin yana ƙaunarku, koyaushe suna tare da shi bangarenka, kuma idan wata rana yana son barin, to kai tsaye ne saboda dalilansa, ba naka ba.
Koyaushe ka tuna cewa mutanen da ke da amincewa da kai da girman kai suna da ikon fahimtar cewa abin da ke faruwa a kusa da su ba laifin su bane, amma matakan da aka ɗauka a rayuwa da kuma cewa, a cikin A kowane lokaci, zasu iya shafar mu, amma wannan ba ya nufin cewa ya kamata mu jefa tawul ko kuma cewa ainihin matsalar tana cikinmu. Koda munyi kuskure, muna da kowane hakki a duniya don yin haka, kuma idan wannan ya haifar da asara, zai zama darasi ne da aka koya, ba cin kashin kai ba.
Nasihu don koyon yadda ake daina hassada ko hassada
Ya kamata a sani cewa waɗannan nasihohin suna nufin maza da mata ne, tunda sun dogara ne akan alaƙar da kanta, don haka yana iya zama mai daɗi har ma duka ma'auratan su karanta su kuma yi amfani da su don inganta abota ko ƙarfafa dangantakarmu. ta hanyar canji daga ɓangarorin biyu game da kishi.
Bugu da ƙari, idan ɗayan ba shi da kishi, wannan karatun na iya zama mai ban sha'awa, tun da duka suna iya shawo kan matsalar ta yin aikinsu, kuma ba lallai ne mu yi komai a daidaikunmu ba, amma daidai taimako ne wanda zai iya samar mana da kyakkyawan sakamako da kuma bayyananniyar fahimta game da halin da ake ciki.
Yi nazarin dalilan da yasa kuke jin kishi
Abu na farko da zamuyi shine bincika dalilan da yasa muke kishi, ma'ana, zamu iya kai farmaki matsalar kai tsaye daga tushenta, amma saboda wannan dole ne mu nemo shi.
Kamar yadda muka ambata a farko, rashin kishi yakan haifar da rashin tsaro, don haka a bayyane shine abu na farko da zamu warware shi, amma yanzu zamu fayyace kadan kuma muyi kokarin nazarin dalilan da yasa muke jin kishi a wasu lokuta.
Misali, daya daga cikin fitattun kishi shine yadda yake damun mu cewa abokin huddarmu yana fita tare da wasu mutane, amma kuma yana iya faruwa tare da babban amininmu ko kuma tare da rukunin mutanen da yawanci muke fita tare.
Ko da kishi za a iya samar da shi a cikin iyali ita kanta, kamar iyayen da suke jin kishi saboda ‘ya’yansu sun fi son kasancewa tare da dayan iyayen, ko kuma yaran da suke ganin iyayensu ba su kula da su ba ko kuma kasancewa tare da wasu. fiye da su.
Kuma tabbas, kishi ma na iya faruwa a wurin aiki, ko dai saboda ba mu sami amincewar da muka cancanta ba, ko kuma kai tsaye saboda ana danganta ta ga wasu mutane ta hanyar da ba ta cancanta ba.
Wato, abu na farko da zamuyi shine bincika irin zafin da muke fama dashi kuma daga can ne zamu gano mabuɗan da zasu bamu damar magance shi.
Dabaru don koyon yadda za a daina hassada ko hassada
Akwai dabaru da yawa wadanda zasu taimaka mana daina hassada, kuma tabbas zamu fara da kara karfin gwiwa a kanmu. Dole mu yi rasa tsoron kin amincewa, da kuma kimanta kanmu kamar yadda muke, kasancewa a bayyane karara cewa akwai abubuwa da yawa da muka sani game da kanmu kuma muna daraja waɗanda ƙila wasu kamfanoni ba za su iya yin la'akari da su ba, amma wannan ba yana nufin cewa babu su.
Dole ne mu saba yi wa kanmu shawara, kuma sama da duka zamu canza tunani kuma mu fara yin yadda muke so, wato, zamuyi abubuwa kamar ba mu da gaske mutane masu kishi.
Ba laifinka bane cewa mutumin ba shi da ikon dacewa da kai, don haka da gaske, kasancewar baya son kasancewa tare da kai bai kamata ya zubar da kimarka ba.
Kuma idan har mun taba yin kuskure, abin da za mu yi shi ne koya daga kuskurenmu, tunda abu ne da ya faru gaba dayanmu, kuma ba za mu dauki lamarin a matsayin asara maras kyau ba, amma a matsayin wata dama a cikin rayuwar wanda zai koya kuma ya zama mafi kyawun mutane.
Dole ne kuma mu tuna cewa kwatancen da muke yi da sauran mutane ba zai kawo mana wani abin kirki ba. Sau da yawa lokuta, idan muka ji kishin wani, abin da muke yi shi ne kokarin kwatanta kanmu da wannan mutumin, wanda hakan yakan sa mu dogaro kan karamin iliminmu game da su, wanda hakan na iya sanya mu tunanin cewa mu kadan ne a wajensu.
Koyaya, gaskiyar ta banbanta, tunda mutane suna nuna kansu kamar yadda suke so mu gansu, amma idan yazo da sanin zurfin yadda suke, to shine lokacin da gazawa da kurakurai suka fara bayyana, kuma wannan yarinyar ko wancan yaron da ya zama kamar cikakke ba zato ba tsammani ya fi kowa zama ajizi.
Dole ne muyi ƙoƙari mu sanya yanayin a cikin mahallin, ma'ana, ba tare da abokin tarayyarmu ya kira tsohon abokin mu ba, misali, yayi masa ta'aziyya yayin da wani na kusa da su ya mutu, bai kamata muyi tunanin cewa yanayi ne ba a cikin abin da akwai yunƙurin dawowa, amma kawai suna da wasu ƙwarewa tare kuma hakan yana sa su jin daɗin mummunan abin da ke faruwa ga ɗayan ba tare da akwai wata niyya ba.
A wannan ma'anar amincewa yana da mahimmanci, don haka bai kamata muyi tunani mara kyau ba idan bai taɓa yi mana wani abu da gaske ba wanda zai sa muyi tunanin cewa yana da wasu nufinsa.
Tabbas dole ne mu fahimci hakan amincewa hadari ne A zahiri, amma ya zama dole mu ɗauki wannan haɗarin idan muna son kula da kyakkyawar dangantaka, a matsayin ma'aurata ko kuma abokantaka.
Hakanan, dole ne muyi la'akari da cewa mu da kuma mutumin dole ne mu sami lokacinmu da sararin kanmu, kuma wannan ba shi da alaƙa da alaƙar sa da mu. Mu kanmu dole ne mu more namu sararin samaniya, tunda, a cikin dangantakar yana da mahimmanci mu biyu mu ba da gudummawa kuma dukkanmu mu ba da kanmu a wasu abubuwa, tunda babu wata hanyar da za a cimma kyakkyawar haɗuwa, amma a kowane hali yana da mahimmanci cewa muna da hankali kuma bari mu fahimci hakan dangantaka ba ta nufin miƙa wuyaMaimakon haka, kowane ɗayan yana da nasa matsayi da rawar da yake ciki, kuma a kan wannan dole ne mu ƙara abin da muka ambata game da sarari da 'yanci kanta.
Kuma a ƙarshe, idan muka sami kanmu a cikin yanayin da muke jin kishi, yana da mahimmanci muyi magana da gaba gaɗi tare da wanda ya haifar da su, ya zama abokin aikinmu, aboki, ɗan uwanmu, da sauransu, tunda ta wannan hanyar za mu iya fahimtar mafi kyau cewa mai yiwuwa babu wasu dalilai na gaske don samun mummunan tunanin da muke da su, kuma tabbas za mu kuma sami taimako daga gare ku, tunda wannan daidai ne ɗayan manyan dabi'un abota da dangantaka, don dogara ga wannan mutumin a cikin nagarta da marasa kyau.