Vanhu vanoshandisa izwi rekuti "hukama" tsika uye inoita seine dudziro yepasi rose. Muchokwadi, izwi rinosanganisira dzakasiyana siyana dzemhando dzekubatana kwevanhu, dzerudo uye dzisiri dzerudo, uye mukana wekuti hapana vanhu vaviri vanogovana chaizvo kunzwisisa kwakafanana kwezvinotsanangura hukama.
Hukama imhando ipi neipi yekubatana kana kubatana pakati pevanhu, ingave yepedyo, platonic, yakanaka kana yakaipa. Kazhinji kana vanhu vachitaura nezve "kuva muhukama," the izwi rinoreva imwe mhando yehukama hwerudo Zvinosanganisira kushamwaridzana kwepamoyo nemunyama, kumwe kuzvipira kunoenderera mberi, uye kuva nemurume mumwe chete (kureva., kungoita zverudo uye pabonde chete, umo nhengo dzisina rudzi urwu rwehukama nemumwe munhu).
Mhando dzakasiyana dzehukama
Hukama hwerudo hunogona kutora nzira dzakasiyana siyana, uye tichazotaura pamusoro peizvi zvinotevera.
hukama hwakazvipira
Muchirevo chevakaroorana, mutsara wokuti "muhukama" unowanzoreva kuva muhukama hwepabonde kwenguva refu. Ukama hwakazvipira ndehwekuti vanhu vaviri kana kupfuura vanobvumirana endererai muhukama mune ramangwana rinoonekwa. Zvinonzwisisika kuti vaviri ava vacharamba vachipedza nguva vari pamwe chete, vachishanda kuti vakure hukama hwavo nemumwe, uye varambe vachisimbisa kubatana kwavo.
Vanhu vari muhukama hwakazvipira vanogona kusarudza kushandisa zviziviso zvakaita semukomana, musikana, kana zvimwe zvakakosha kuratidza hukama hwavo kune vamwe. Muhukama hwechinyakare hwemurume mumwe chete, kuva murudo zvinorevawo kuti vaviri vanenge vachidanana uye vasingadi pabonde, ndiko kuti, havazove nevamwe vadikani verudo kana pabonde kunze kwavo ivo.
Muhukama husiri hwemurume mumwe chete, kusarurana hakudiwi. Wanano imhando yeukama hwakazvipira umo vaviri vanobvumirana pachena kuti vachagara pamwe chete uye vanoumba mubatanidzwa unobatanidza zviri pamutemo.
hukama husina mavara
Mamiriro ezvinhu hukama hwerudo husina kutsanangurwa zvakajeka, kazhinji nekusingaperi. Hukama hunogona kuve nehunhu hwakawanda hwakafanana nehukama hwakazvipira, asi vanhu vanobatanidzwa havana nemaune kuisa mavara pairi, kungave kudzivirira zvinhu zvakawandisa, nekuti vachiri kufunga zvavanoda kubva kune mumwe nemumwe, kana nekuti vanotya zvakanyanya kuita.
Kazhinji kutaura, mamiriro acho anowanzo kuve nekubatanidzwa zvakanyanya mupfungwa kupfuura shamwari dzine mabhenefiti, asi kwete manzwiro erudo akajeka uye kuzvipira kwehukama hwakazvipira. Nepo hukama husina tag hunoshanda zvakanaka kune vamwe vanhu, zvinowanzoitika nekuti kazhinji vanhu vaviri vacho havasi papeji imwe chete nezve zvavanoda kana nekuti hukama hwacho hunofanirwa kunge hupfupi zvekuti hazvinei nazvo.
hukama hwakavhurika
Hukama hwepachena imhando yehukama hwekutenderana husiri hwemurume mumwe chete apo mumwe kana vakawanda vanosangana pabonde kana kufambidzana nevamwe vanhu. Vese vanhu vanobvumirana kurara nevamwe vanhu muhukama huri pachena asi inogona kuva nemamiriro ezvinhu kana miganhu.
Hukama hwakavhurika hunogona kuitika mumhando ipi neipi yehukama hwerudo, ingave yakajairika, yekupfimbana kana muchato. Hukama hwakadai hunogona kuva nezvikomborero, kusanganisira kuwedzera kusununguka pabonde, uye njodzi dzakadai segodo uye kurwadziwa mupfungwa. Hukama hwakavhurika hunobudirira kana vadiwa vakaisa miganhu yavo, manzwiro, uye zvepabonde, uye kutaurirana zvakajeka manzwiro avo nezvido kune mumwe nemumwe.
Hukama hwakavhurika inzira yekutenderana isiri-monogamy. Kunyange paine hukama hwepamoyo uye kazhinji hwehukama pakati pevanhu vaviri vari muhukama, vanobvumirana kuwirirana nevamwe kunze kwehukama.
hukama hwekodhi
Hukama hwepedyo imhando yehukama husina kushanda uye husina kuenzana umo mudiwa ane hunhu hwepfungwa, hwenyama, kana hwepfungwa pane mumwe munhu. Zvinowanzoitika kuti vanhu vese vari muhukama vabatane vachiwirirana. Vese vari vaviri vanogona kuchinjana kutamba basa remuchengeti, kuchinjana pakati pemuchengeti neanogamuchira.
Hunhu hwehukama hwekodhi hunosanganisira:
- Ita semupi asi mumwe munhu achiita semugamuchiri
- Ita zvose zvaungagona kudzivisa kunetsana nomumwe munhu.
- Kunzwa kuti unofanira kukumbira mvumo yekuita zvinhu
- Kuve nekuponesa kana kununura mumwe munhu kubva pazviito zvake
- Ita zvinhu kuti mumwe munhu afare, kunyange kana zvichiita kuti unzwe kusagadzikana
- Kunzwa senge hauzive kuti ndiwe ani muhukama
- Simudza mumwe munhu kunyangwe asina chaaita kuti awane kufarirwa uye kuyemurwa.
Zvisinei, hadzisi hukama hwese hunoenderana hwakafanana. Vanogona kusiyana maererano nekuoma. Codependency inogona kukanganisa marudzi ese akasiyana ehukama. Rudzi urwu rwehukama hunogadzirwa pamwe chete.
Nepo mumwe mukwanyina angaita se“anoshayiwa,” mumwe wacho anganzwa akasununguka kudiwa. Mumwe munhu anonyatso kudiwa kudiwa, semuenzaniso, unogona kudzivisa kuisa pfungwa pane zvaunoda iwe pachako kusarudza mudiwa anogara achida.
Ukama hune chepfu
Hukama hune chepfu imhando ipi neipi yehukama hwehukama umo kugara kwako kwemanzwiro, kwemuviri, kana kwepfungwa kunodzikisirwa kana kutyisidzirwa neimwe nzira. Hukama hwakadaro hunowanzoita kuti unzwe kunyara, kunyadziswa, kusanzwisiswa kana kusatsigirwa. Chero rudzi rwehukama hunogona kuva muchetura, kusanganisira hushamwari, hukama hwemhuri, hukama hwerudo, kana hukama hwebasa.
Toxic relationships inoratidzwa ne:
- Kushaya rutsigiro
- culpa
- Kukwikwidzana
- kudzora maitiro
- Kusarura
- Kusavimbika
- Ruvengo
- Godo
- Kusadaro-aggressive maitiro
- Kukurukurirana kwakaipa
- Kunetseka
Dzimwe nguva munhu wese ari muhukama anoita basa mukugadzira huturu uhu. Semuenzaniso, unogona kunge uchikonzera huturu kana vadiwa vachigara vasingafadzi, vachitsoropodza, vasina kuchengeteka, uye vasina kunaka.
Mune zvimwe zviitiko, munhu mumwechete ari muhukama anogona kuita nenzira dzinogadzira manzwiro ane chepfu. Izvi zvingava nemaune Asi mune dzimwe nguva, vanhu vangasanyatsonzwisisa kuti mashoko avo kana kuti zvavanoita zviri kukanganisa sei vamwe vanhu. Nekuda kwezviitiko zvavo zvekare nehukama, kazhinji kumba vachikura, vangasaziva imwe nzira yekuita nekutaurirana.
Izvi hazvingokonzeresa kusagutsikana: hukama hune chepfu hunogona kukanganisa zvakanyanya hutano. Semuenzaniso, kushushikana kunokonzerwa nehukama husina kunaka kunokanganisa zvakananga pahutano hwemwoyo. Kunzwa uri woga uye kusanzwisiswa muukama kunogonawo kutungamirira kukusurukirwa, uko kwakaratidzwa kuva nemigumisiro inokuvadza pazvose zviri zviviri utano hwomuviri nepfungwa.
Ukama hune muchetura hunogona kunetsa, hunokuvadza, uye kunyange kushungurudza. Kana uine hukama hune chepfu nemumwe munhu muhupenyu hwako, shanda pakugadzira miganhu yakasimba kuti uzvidzivirire. Taura nenyanzvi yezvehutano hwepfungwa kana kufunga kugumisa hukama kana zvichikukuvadza.