Njengomphelelisi kwinqaku lam "Kwenzeka ntoni xa sixhathisa isilingo", epapashwe ngo-Agasti 21, 2014, ndingathanda ukwabelana nani namhlanje ngethiyori zesazi ngengqondo esidumileyo kunye nonjingalwazi kwiYunivesithi yaseStanford, uKelly McGonigal. Kule yokuzonwabisa, UKelly uveza ukufumanisa okutsha okwenziwe kwi-psychology yamandla. Izizathu ezi-5 eziphambili zokuba amandla ethu angaphela esilela ukusishwankathela apha ngezantsi, kunye neengcebiso zokuyazisa.
- Xa uziphethe kakuhle usinika imvume yokuziphatha kakubi ...
Into echazwa nguKelly yile yokuba, Xa sisenza isenzo esihle okanye siziphatha kakuhle, siziva silungile ngayo kangangokuba sikhawuleze silibale iinjongo zethu zexesha elide kwaye endaweni yoko sikhangele ithuba lokuzonwabisa. Ukuzekelisa le nto, uKelly uthi xa sisitya kwaye umzekelo sinesidlo sakusasa esisempilweni, siziva sinebhongo ngeziqu zethu kangangokuba ngokuzenzekelayo sikholelwa ukuba kufanelekile ukuba sifumane umvuzo ngako. Ke ngoko, kuya kuba lula ukuba ekugqibeleni sigqibe ngokufumana idessert eyongezelelweyo kwisidlo sasemini ...
Silibale ngokulula ukuba kutheni sisenza izinto ezithile. Xa siziva sonwabile ngeziqu zethu, ngesiquphe kubonakala ngathi asisakhumbuli nokuba indlela esiziphatha ngayo iyahambelana neenjongo zethu zexesha elide.
Impazamo esiyenzayo yile endaweni yokugxila kwiziphumo esifuna ukufikelela kuzo ngezigqibo zethu, Sithanda ukunciphisa umda kumbono wethu "ndilungile" xa kuthelekiswa "ndimbi" izigwebo ngathi.
Ngapha koko, ukuba, umzekelo, sithenga ibha yetshokholethi "bio" endaweni yebha yetshokholethi eqhelekileyo, uKelly ucacisa ukuba siza kuyitya singazisoli kakhulu okanye sizive sinetyala (kwaye mhlawumbi ngobuninzi ngokunjalo), sizithethelela ngasemva impikiswano yokuba njengoko iyimveliso ye "bio", akukho nto yenzekayo kuba senza isenzo esihle nakanjani.
Kukwanjalo nakwabaqhubi bezithuthi ezingumxube. Ngokutsho kwesifundo, aba bantu "baluhlaza" ababonakala ngathi baphambili ukubonisa ukuqonda okukhulu ngendalo, abaqhubi nje kuphela imigama emide, kodwa bayabandakanyeka kwiingozi ezininzi kwaye bafumana amanye amatikiti ezithuthi!
- "Ikamva lethu"
Ngalo lonke ixesha siziva ukuba kufuneka sisebenzise amandla, kungenxa yokuba inxenye yethu ifuna ukwenza enye into. Ukuchaza ukusilela kwethu kulo mzabalazo wangaphakathi, uKelly usinika inkcazo enomdla kakhulu, yiyo leyo Uninzi lwethu lucinga "ngekamva lethu" njengomnye umntu, umntu ongamaziyo. Kwaye oku kuthathwa njengenye yezizathu eziphambili zokuba amandla ethu onakaliswe. Okokuqala, ngenxa yokuba inkuthazo yethu yokukhathalela "isiqu sethu" siya kuncitshiswa ngokungaziva sinxibelelene nalo "mntu uzayo". Okwesibini, ngenxa yesizathu esingaqhelekanga, sihlala sinomdla wokulungiselela "ikamva lethu". Ke, xa sisenza uqikelelo "ngekamva lethu", sihlala sinokholo olungaqhelekanga nolungeyonyani lokuba siza kuba nexesha elininzi, amandla amakhulu, uxinzelelo, njalo njalo. Ukusilela kwengcinga yethu.
- "Ufuna" xa kuthelekiswa "uzive wonwabile"
UKelly ukwatyhila kule vidiyo umahluko phakathi "kokufuna" xa kuthelekiswa "nento esenza sonwabe." Sivame ukukholelwa ukuba into esiyifunayo yile nto isonwabisayo. Nangona kunjalo, kukukhohlisa kwengqondo yethu. Ngokwenyani, amava "okufuna" anento yokwenza nemichiza ebizwa dopamine, enoxanduva lokusenza sikholelwe ukuba kukho into eza kusonwabisa. Ukwengeza, uxinzelelo iihormones ezayanyaniswa nale nto ikwa negalelo ekukhuthazeni inkohliso yokuba ukuba asiyifumani le nto siyifunayo, siza kufa okanye siza kuba nexesha elibi. Ngapha koko, oku kuyenzeka kwizikhoboka. Kodwa eyona nto inomdla ngayo yonke le nto kukuba ekupheleni kosuku, into esiyifunayo kakhulu, kuninzi lweziganeko ayisiniki nolwaneliseko esilulindeleyo.. Ingqondo yethu isenza sikholelwe ukuba siya konwaba, kodwa ingxaki kukuba ayonelanga ...
Amava okufuna into acaciswe yinto yokuba iingqondo zethu zenziwe ngendlela yokuba singasweli nto. Yiyo eyenzekayo ngokutya umzekelo. Ivumba lokutya ngokuzenzekelayo libeka ingqondo yethu kule meko "yokufuna" ukuqinisekisa ukuba asilambi.
Itekhnoloji, umzekelo, yenzelwe ukusiqinisekisa ngempazamo ukuba ngaxa lithile siza kufumana umvuzo oya kuthi ubaluleke ebomini bethu. Yiyo loo nto i-mania yokujonga kwakhona kwakhona, ngokunyanzelwa, i-imeyile, imiyalezo, i-Facebook, i-WhatsApp, njl.
- "Yintoni isihogo"
Thina bantu sinokuba yinto engaqhelekanga ... Xa sinikezela kwisilingo (apho sithi uphawu "aluvumelekanga"), kumaxesha amaninzi siye sizive sinetyala. Kodwa endaweni yoku kungasebenzi ukukuqulatha, Uxinzelelo olubangelwa kukuziva unetyala okunjalo luya kusinceda ukuba sibuyele esihendweni. Ngamafutshane: kokukhona ukwanda kwengqondo yokuziva unetyala, ukunganyaniseki kwizilingo. Kwaye ubutyala buya kuxhomekeka kwintsingiselo esiyinika into yokulingwa. Ukusuka apho ukubaluleka kokuzixolela ngenxa yokuba izithintelo ngakumbi esizibeka kuthi, kokukhona isiphumo sokuphindaphinda siya kuba sikhulu. UKelly uyibiza le nto ukuba "yintoni impembelelo yesihogo", oko kukuthi, elo lizwi lincinci langaphakathi lisitshela ukuba "Ndiziva ndinetyala ke ngoku yintoni ebalulekileyo? Kuba ndilapha, ndizakuqhubeka ndiyonwabele ”.
Sicinga ukuba ukuziva singalunganga kwaye sisohlwaya ngokwethu kuko okuya kusikhuthaza ukuba sitshintshe kodwa eyona nto isikhuthazayo ukuba sitshintshe kuxa sikwazi ukucinga ngento elungileyo eya kuthi ibekho njengesiphumo sokuthatha isenzo esahlukileyo esijolise kwiinjongo zethu zexesha elide. Kwaye kufuneka sinikele ingqalelo kuloo nto.
- Iziphumo zoxinzelelo
Uxinzelelo lolona tshaba lubi kakhulu lokuzimisela. UKelly ucacisa ukuba xa, umzekelo, kwiiphakheji zemidiza sibona umfanekisoUKUTSHAYA KUYABULALA ”, umyalezo onje uvelisa uxinzelelo olothusayo kangangokuba endaweni yokuba usithintele ekutshayeni, iziphumo zichasene ngokupheleleyo.Umnqweno wokutshaya ubangelwa kukuqina ngakumbi. Kwaye ukusukela kukutshaya sisicwangciso esifunde ukusilawula uxinzelelo, yile nto sizakuyenza ukumelana noxinzelelo lwethu.
Nangona kunjalo, amandla edabi anokuphumelela ngenxa yokusebenza kwengqondo:
Ngaloo ndlela, xa sijonga amava ethu kwangoko, sinxibelelana ngqo nommandla wengqondo ophetheyo ngamandla kwaye oku kusivumela ukuba sikhumbule iinjongo zethu zexesha elide. Uninzi lwezinto esizenzayo zingenangqondo, zingabikho zingqondweni, okanye zizenzekelayo. Ngokuvumela izenzo zethu zokuqonda, sinceda amandla ethu okubuyisa izintso. Kwakhona uxinzelelo aluhlali lutshintsho, luza kumaza. Ke ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka ulinde ukuba udlule.
UKelly McGonigal ucebisa ukuba sikhethe into esikholelwa ukuba iyasonwabisa kwaye sijonge ukuba ngaba le ndawo izalisekisiwe ngenene, sisebenzisa ingqalelo yethu epheleleyo. Kuyasikhuthaza ukuba siqale sive imvakalelo "yokufuna" okanye yokulangazelela: into esiyiva emzimbeni wethu kunye neengcinga kunye neemvakalelo ezinxulumene nayo. Kwaye emva koko, kancinci kancinci, yitya into esiyithatha njengesihendo (ukuluma iqhekeza lekeke okanye ukutshaya icuba). Okokugqibela, masizibuze: "Ngaba iyandanelisa?" Ngaba ndiziva ndonwabile?
Ileta evela "kwikamva lakho":
Yiba nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wakho usekwexesha elizayo. Inokuba yinyanga, unyaka, okanye iminyaka eli-10 ukusukela ngoku: nantoni na ebonakala ilungele wena. Emva koko bhala ileta ubhalele "ubuqu bakho" egameni lakho "ngekamva lakho."
- Zama ukukuqonda kwaye ukuxabise konke okwenziwe ngumntu "wangoku" ukufikelela kuye "kwixesha elizayo". Vumela "umntu ozayo" ukuba abonakalise umbulelo ngakuwe "ngoku".
- Nika imiyalezo "yangoku" yemfesane kunye nobulumko kubo bonke ubunzima obenzekileyo okanye obuzayo.
- Okokugqibela, khumbuza "umntu okhoyo ngoku" ngamandla ayo.
KwiYunivesithi yaseStanford, iilebhu ziyilelwa ukungena kwihlabathi elibonakalayo apho kungekudala Singanxibelelana nohlobo lokwenyani lwe-«future future» yethu ngohlobo lwe-3D avatar!
Jasmine othandekayo:
Enkosi kakhulu ngokwabelana ngeli nqaku nathi! Inqaku elinomdla kakhulu elibhalwe ngokucacileyo ngemizekelo eyiyo. Oko kwenza ukufunda nokuqonda kube lula.
Ndiyithandile kakhulu okoko ngalo mzuzu indifumana kumzabalazo wokuzimisela: Nditya kakhulu kwaye ndizama ukutya kancinci ukunciphisa umzimba, kodwa ndiyenza ngokuzikhohlisa njengokuba uchaza kwinqaku.
Eli nqaku lindincede ndacinga ngcono ngendlela enditya ngayo. Ndifuna ukubhala loo leta ngomso. Into endincedayo (xa ndisitya kakhulu okanye xa ndidandathekile kwaye ndibona yonke into engwevu) kukwenza uluhlu olunamanqaku ahlukeneyo: ukudwelisa iimeko xa ndisitya kakhulu, iingcinga ngelixa, zeziphi izizathu, iziphumo umzimba wam (umzekelo, ukuba ndifumana iinkozo ezingaphezulu), ndingenza njani kwiimeko apho ndithanda ukutya kakhulu, amanyathelo okuqala / izisombululo zokutshintsha indlela yokuziphatha. Kwaye ukubonakaliswa okufanayo kwaye kudweliswe xa ndiphosakele. Ngaphambi nje kokuba ndenze enye ukuya kokondla kwam. Inceda kakhulu ukubhala nokuchaza "ingxaki yam." Ke ndiyazinyanzela ukuba ndicinge ngayo, ndichithe ixesha kunye nayo, ndizicwangcise ngaphakathi. Ndiyazibophelela kwimeko. Ngoku ileta incanyathiselwe emnyango wam ukuze ndihlale ndiyibona kwaye ndikhumbule amaxesha kunye nokuba kutheni amandla wam ehluleka.
Enkosi kakhulu kwakhona ngeli nqaku linomdla. Gcina up kunye nenhlanhla! Ukwanga okuvela eLima
Jasmine othandekayo,
Enkosi ngempendulo eneenkcukacha.
Ndiza kuzama ukuseta iinjongo ezifikeleleke ngakumbi kwaye ndinike ingqalelo ngakumbi kwinyathelo ngalinye lokutya kakhulu.
Ndingathanda ukukuxelela ukuba okoko ndafunda inqaku lakho kwaye ndenza olu luhlu lobhaliso andisaziva isidingo sokutya umzekelo iiphakeji ezimbini zetshokholethi kwaye kanye emva kwenye yeekuki (kunye nenye). Nokuba nditya iqhekeza letshokholethi / icookie okanye ndiye ndasela iti ngcono.
Enkosi! Kunye nexesha lakho.
Imibuliso evela eLima,
Brigitte
Enkosi ngokuthumela eli nqaku, ndibhalele i-self yam yangoku egameni lam elizayo kwaye iyakhuthaza kwakhona !! Ndiya kuyincoma kubathandekayo bam.
Imibuliso evela eLima,
Iintyatyambo