Before you know these 5 keys to increasing your emotional intelligence, I invite you to watch these 5 minutes of pure genius and a sense of humor.
In this video they show us in a very funny way the functions of the two cerebral hemispheres, one that deals with the rational function and the other with the emotional function:
Emotional Intelligence It can be defined as the ability to understand and effectively manage one's own feelings and also those of others. It is absolutely essential in the formation, development, maintenance and enhancement of close personal relationships. Unlike IQ, which does not change significantly over a lifetime, our Emotional Intelligence can evolve and increase with the desire to learn and grow.
Now they present 5 keys that can improve emotional intelligence:
1) The ability to cope with one's own negative emotions.
"We become what we think." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Perhaps no aspect of Emotional Intelligence is more important than our ability to effectively manage our own negative emotions, those that overwhelm us and affect our judgment. In order to change the way we feel about a situation, we first have to change the way we think about it.
2. The ability to remain calm in stressful situations.
Most of us experience a certain level of stress in life. When we are under pressure, the most important thing to keep in mind is to stay calm. Here are some tips rapid:
A. If you feel angry and upset with someone, before saying something that you might later regret, take a deep breath and count to 10 slowly. In most cases, by the time you hit 10, you will have found a better way to communicate the problem. If you're still upset after counting to 10, take some time off if possible and come back to it after you calm down.
B. If you feel nervous and anxious, splash your face with cold water and go for a spin. The cold temperature can help reduce the level of anxiety. Avoid caffeinated drinks that can stimulate your nervousness.
C. If you feel fearful, depressed, or discouraged, try to do vigorous aerobic exercises. Your self-confidence will grow as you experience the vitality of your body.
D. If you feel overwhelmed, confused, uninspired ... get in touch with nature. Find a panoramic view admire its beauty while taking deep breaths. Empty your mind. You will return with a new perspective.
3. The ability to read social signals
"We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are. " - Anais Nin.
People with a high level of Emotional Intelligence are generally more accurate in their ability to perceive and interpret other emotional, physical and verbal expressions. They also know how to communicate effectively to clarify their intentions. Here are a couple of tips to increase the accuracy of reading social signals:
A. Faced with a confusing fact, we can have at least 2 possible interpretations before drawing conclusions. For example, we call our friend and he does not answer. I may think that my friend is not calling me back because he is ignoring me or I may consider the possibility that he has been very busy. When we avoid personalizing other people's behaviors, we can perceive them in a more objective way and reduce the possibility of misunderstandings.
"A negative look from another person can only mean that they are constipated." - Daniel Amen
B. Ask for clarification when necessary. If necessary, consult with the other person to clarify why they behave as they do. Questions like: "I'm curious, can you tell me why ..." and avoid accusations and lawsuits. Compare that person's words to their body language for consistency.
4. The ability to be assertive when necessary.
"Being who we are requires that we can speak openly about the things that are important to us." - Harriet Lerner
There are moments in the lives of all of us when it is important set our limits properly so people know where we are. These may include exercising our right to disagree (without being unpleasant), saying "no" without feeling guilty, setting our own priorities, and protecting ourselves from coercion and attack.
One method to consider for expressing difficult emotions is the XYZ technique: "I feel X when you do Y in Z."
5. The ability to express intimate emotions in intimate or personal relationships.
The ability to express intimate emotions effectively is essential to maintaining close personal relationships. In this case, "effectively" means sharing intimate feelings with someone in a suitable relationship, in a way that is constructive and be able to answer affirmatively when the other person does the same.
Quote: »If you feel angry and upset with someone, before saying something that you might later regret, take a deep breath and slowly count to 10.»
According to what I have read that advice is equivalent to repressing emotions with all the negative that this implies. It would be better to advise that if you feel angry and upset you should express it openly without hurting anyone. In addition, the more knowledge you have, the less chance there is of getting angry and upset, since when a mistake is discovered it is all a matter of acting calmly and temperately to correct it. What I think is about a topic that is enough to write a whole book but this is only a comment and that is why I do not develop it further, (lest they feel upset and angry with me).
Greetings.
Hi Sergio, thank you very much for your comment.
What you propose is very intelligent but keep in mind that when a person is dominated by anger they are not able to act with temperance, hence those 10 seconds serve to calm down a bit and say what one feels, how you propose, but without losing the papers.
Kind regards.
Hello Daniel.
Yes, you're right. The text clearly says to come back to the topic after you calm down. That is why it is convenient to be on guard and not reach a point of very intense anger because just as you cannot have temperance due to excessive anger, because of it you cannot remember good advice such as the one presented in the Article. But this is also already suggested by this post when it says that our emotional intelligence can evolve and increase with the desire to learn and grow; so I can only thank you very much for dealing with issues like these and for having responded to me.
Greetings.
EXCELLENT ARTICLE 😉 HELPED ME A LOT IN MY HOMEWORK OF THE MASTER
Thanks Ruth, I'm glad it was helpful.
HELLO! I ASK IF ANY OF YOU HAVE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT WHAT YOU REPENT, FOR NOT HAVING COUNTED UP TO 10, OR THAT ADVICE IS FOR PEOPLE WHO SPEAK WITHOUT THINKING, JUST FOR THE ACT OF SPEAKING, AND BEING AT YOURS FOR YOU. I AM 58 YEARS OLD AND I HAVE NEVER SAID ANYTHING THAT I AM REPENTANT. I KNOW THAT EACH HEAD IS A WORLD, AND EACH ONE TAKES THE BEST. THANK YOU.
read it is an article for everyone
Very nice article, Christians call emotional intelligence self-control ... I am very funny about the formula (XYZ) I feel X when you do Y in Z.
Emotional intelligence for me develops with people with groups and it must be there all the time as being the absolute now.
Unfortunately there are people who will not be able to develop this out of fear.
I work as a tour guide and I am very observant but it is a daily job to persevere what a group wants or individually how they feel.
but getting the all-in-itself to join what I want as good service is a bit tiring.
but at the same time the comforting feeling that everyone agrees and is satisfied.
It is also true that the world is what you think but beware of passions and egos.
that blind you and make you zordo.
If I'm wrong, I don't take it as learning and I integrate it.
Thank you