When two people swear eternal love at no time do they think that it will not last forever or that they will end up getting on badly. Nobody knows how the circumstances of life will go, and as long as there is love, there is hope ... But when love ends, then it is necessary to turn the page and learn about how to overcome a divorce.
There are people who are waiting for it when they get divorced because it is like a liberation. Instead, there are other people who get divorced and feel it as an imposition because in reality, they don't want to do this.
You don't have to make it pretty, when there is a divorce it hurts a lot emotionally. A stage closes and it is not always a dish of good taste. Also, going through the entire court process is quite exhausting, and sometimes traumatic ... especially when it becomes a pitched battle.
Accept that divorce is imminent
Maybe you don't want any of this to happen, but it's happening. Although those thoughts may be true, the first step toward healing after divorce is to fully accept it. You have to think firmly in your head: "I am getting divorced" or "I am divorced." That is your new reality.
Most women or men desperately try to deny the truth for as long as they can. Although they know the reality of the situation in their head, They deny it in their actions by maintaining unhealthy ties with their ex.
Often times, exes try to keep their foot in the door of our life by trying to be our friend, or by offering to fix the sink ... sending you flowers and candy saying that he still loves you.
Being divorced means that both of you must accept the natural consequence of divorce: get your ex out of your life as soon as possible, or if you have children, get along for the benefit of the little ones, ceasing to be a couple to become parents exclusively. But you have to get him out of your life emotionally. Generally, the less interaction the better. Don't get sucked into letting it take up precious space and energy in your head and your life.
Cry and allow yourself to feel the emotions
Allow yourself to cry, don't deny your emotions. It is important that you understand that going through a difficult process means that your emotions become, at least temporarily, a roller coaster. There is nothing wrong with that, but you need to be aware of this so that, you can control those emotions that can most afflict you at this time.
You have to go through the grieving process, because divorce means the death of your marriage. This will make you experience it as if you are mourning the death of a loved one. Emotions that include denial, sadness, and anger should be accepted because they are totally normal. Let the tears run down your cheeks.
Take control of your life
You may be wondering: "How long does it take to get over a divorce?" Different people take different amounts of time to get over their divorce. There are people who get over it in months and others who take years to do it. Another question you may be asking yourself right now is: "Will I ever get over my divorce?"
Yes, sooner or later you will. Typically, it takes a year or so, because part of the grieving process includes mourning all the anniversaries that happen for a year. Holidays, birthdays, spring, summer, fall, winter and other personal, couple or family anniversaries.
As we've discussed above, allowing yourself time to really cry is necessary to move forward. You can take control by accepting that you must mourn this loss. The real step to recovery from divorce is when you understand that the rest of your life is up to you and you can get over your divorce.
Your ex does not control your life, it is you who must take the reins. Your ex or anyone else is in charge of your happiness; it is you who has that important responsibility. What happens in the rest of your life is your choice. You have the option to decide to spend your days bitter and angry, Or you can decide to look for things to celebrate and be thankful for.
When you're on this journey, you decide if you're going to get out of bed every morning and find something productive to do, or if you're going to stay in bed in an emotional and physical dump all day. So you think that getting over divorce means taking personal control and take responsibility for your life. Your future depends on you.
get it
All this may sound tiresome, but it depends on your actions that you get through the divorce. You have to start with small actions since it is a process. First, you will have to focus on taking small actions that will start you on the path to a better life after divorce.
When you first wake up every morning, try to tell yourself: "Thank you for surviving all night." Add five new things to your list every morning: Thank you for my eyes. Thanks that I can come into the kitchen and eat something good. Thanks for the coffee. Thank you that I have two legs and the freedom to use them «. This seemingly simple attitude adjustment towards gratitude will go deep in bringing healing to your heart.
Throughout the day, focus on taking these small (but really important) steps forward. Before doing something, you have to ask yourself: "Will this move me forward or will it keep me trapped in the well of divorce?"
Always make the decision to take those little actions to keep moving forward. Taking action also means getting the resources you need, like visiting this site. That is a very positive step in the right direction. You will get help, encouragement and tools to keep growing above divorce in trust and love.
Remember that it is important that you are aware that if you have reached this point it is because it was necessary. It is necessary that you accept what is happening and above all, that you feel that you can overcome it. If that person no longer wants you in your life, it is because they do not deserve you. You deserve to have a much better life and be next to people who really accept you as you are, now and forever.