People communicate continuously and without realizing it, there are different styles of communication that predominate us, we are going to talk to you about which are the 4 most important or the most used. We want to highlight that it is about communicative styles and in no case about characteristics of people.
By this we mean that if a person has an aggressive communication style at a certain time, it does not mean that he is an aggressive person all the time. Depending on the style of the issuer, the receiver may have one reaction or another. A communication style is not something unique, We can all have various communication styles depending on the situation or circumstances in which we find ourselves.
passive communication style
In this style of communication, the sender hides or inhibits his thoughts, his beliefs, his emotions and even his own needs. It may be due to fear of rejection, insecurity about the response of others or any other reason. This will stop the flow of communication since that the receiver does not know the real needs and thoughts of the sender and can cause confusion.
People who use the passive communication style often avoid direct gaze, look at the ground, or simply avoid direct eye contact. The tone of voice will be low and the body posture will be shown with a hunched body, drooping shoulders...
When this communicative style is used, messages that are too clear are avoided using words such as: I guess, maybe, I just want to say that, it is not important but, it does not matter, etc.
When this type of passive communication is used, there can be interpersonal conflicts and feelings of sadness, anger and even resentment towards ourselves or towards others. This occurs because the sender is not able to express their needs and there is no real exchange in communication. The receiver will feel confused because he will not understand the sender well.
aggressive communication style
This communicative style is based on the imposition of needs and opinions above others without taking into account what others think or feel. There may or may not be insults or accusations, but it feels like an intense communication that creates discomfort as one person dominates and the other submits just without realizing it. The person with the aggressive communicative style does not make an effort to understand others, he only focuses on himself.
In the aggressive style, the face is usually tense and with hostile expressions and emotions, with anger and aggressiveness being the main communicators. The look can be defiant and the voice loud and forceful. Body gestures often have a dominant style.
some expressions that are often used in this communicative style are: it's your fault, you better..., you have no idea, you did it wrong, you must be joking, you would do better if you listened to me, you have to, etc. they may even include words of humiliation and criticism.
This communicative style will create habitual interpersonal conflicts because a solid foundation is not built between two people. People who have an aggressive communication style are usually frustrated people, dissatisfied with their lives, they feel out of control or are always angry.
Passive-aggressive communication style
This communicative style would be the combination of the first two discussed. It is a not at all direct style that always looks for hints to show its discomfort. They are selective and will be pleasant with some people and unpleasant with others.. When there is a conflict avoid solving the problem directly and he can even “use” other people to do it for him even if they have nothing to do with the conflict in question.
They usually seem friendly but they will not be with those with whom they feel some kind of negative performance. They have a distasteful tone of voice even though their words are kind.
They don't speak their minds directly but look defiantly or contemptuously. They will talk about their problem with people who have nothing to do with the conflict. Your body language or his words differ from what he really thinks or with their behavior. This type of communication usually generates conflicts both internally for the person and for others.
Assertive communication style
This communication style will help people to have a good interpersonal relationship since there is coherence between what one expresses and thinks, as well as in behavior. It is done honestly and takes into account the thoughts of others.
They express their own needs or thoughts without offending or making other people uncomfortable. Domination is not sought, it is simply an effective communicative style, where one speaks clearly without seeking to hurt others.
The expression of the face in this communicative style is calm and pleasant. The gaze is direct but not aggressive or dominant, with a clear and firm tone of voice. The gestures are calm and not intimidating.
Thoughts, emotions or ideas are expressed appropriately, respecting the rights of others but also taking their own into account. The other person is never disqualified and assertive phrases are used, for example: I feel, I believe, I think, I understand that you, I feel when you do, I would like to, what do you think if..., etc.
The phrases used are usually comprehensive towards the other and positive, expressing their own desires and needs, but while validating the wants and needs of others.
This style of communication will allow a fluid relationship between people and make it feel satisfactory. There is no tension and solves the problems that may exist at certain times. The person with this communicative style feels good about himself and also with others.
Now that you know the 4 communication styles, do you feel more identified with one or the other? We usually combine the 4 depending on the situation in which we find ourselves, but without a doubt, we should make an effort so that we could always use the last communication style mentioned.