Suffering an infidelity is something very painful, so it can negatively affect a person. However, on a day-to-day basis we can find cases of both people who are able to forgive an infidelity like others who never would But when the time comes, how would you act? We are going to try to analyze some of the particularities and of course we will also analyze the effect that infidelity can have on the relationship and the possibilities of forgiving the person based on various factors.
Infidelity and the breakup of a love story
There is no doubt that one of the negative effects of infidelity is precisely the fact that it causes great pain to the couple, but in reality it is important to keep in mind that it is not the only damage that occurs, but there is another that may even become greater, such as the fact that the illusion disappears.
That is, we all have our relationship as a couple and we feel that it is unique and unrepeatable, so that, in the event of infidelity, automatically all the motives and reasons that made us think that ours was really special disappear.
Even if the infidelity were forgiven, in reality that dream we thought we were living in will have completely vanished, which is reason enough to lose trust in the partner and end up breaking the relationship for good.
We must bear in mind that each member of the couple supposes a very important support and support for the other, with which, when we lose confidence and when we see that all that dream that made us live a love story has really disappeared, it Usually it creates a bad feeling between the two of you.
We must remember that in most cases this type of situation ends in the breakup, since it is clear that it is very difficult to trust a person who has already betrayed you in this way, and we must not forget that because another part also damages the self-esteem of the deceived person, that is, if you see that the other person is looking for what you should offer them outside the relationship, they automatically make you feel that you are not everything they need.
The struggle to forgive an infidelity
Depending on the years that you have been in a relationship with that person, sometimes many do everything possible to be able to forgive that infidelity, since they try to value the positive aspects of the relationship and do everything possible to leave that mistake behind, although, as We mentioned in the previous section, it is quite complicated because, once you have confidence, it is very difficult to regain it.
However, we must be very clear that this is something that cannot be chosen, that is, there are people who can manage to overcome difficulties and regain their relationship, and others, no matter how hard they try, never manage to overcome the situation and in the end, no matter how much they don't want it, the couple ends up breaking up completely.
The elements to take into account to know if infidelity is worth forgiving
It should be noted that all these tips are given to you regardless of whether you are men or women, that is, basically in this case we can find ourselves in the same position regardless of our sex, so that the way of reacting is usually quite coincident in both cases.
That said, there are certain elements that we can assess through which we will have a better chance of finding out whether or not we are really going to be able to forgive the infidelity of that person we had trusted so far.
Of course, it is important that we analyze all these aspects consciously, that is, at the moment in which the situation has occurred, it is not good to enter into evaluations, since all we will do is do ourselves more harm and above all We will not be acting convincingly, but we can make decisions that we would regret in the future.
That means that, if you find yourself in this type of situation, the best you can do is take a few days to relax and disconnect and, when everything has calmed down, then it is time to start making an in-depth assessment taking everyone into account. the points that we are going to detail below.
Our recommendation in this case is that during this disconnection time you separate as it is the best way to calm the waters and prevent things from getting worse. It is proven that those couples who after suffering a blow of this type continue together day after day, in the end have less possibilities than those who take, for example, a week of margin in which at most they talk on the phone, so perhaps it may be an interesting way to give more possibilities to the relationship.
A recent partner is not the same as a long-term partner
The first thing that can influence whether or not the situation is forgiven is how long we have been together. It is clear that it is not the same to talk about a couple who just a couple of months dating, in which case cutting does not really suppose a great real pain, than those who can even take more than 10 years, in which case the situation becomes quite complicated. , since it is usual to make a greater effort to avoid the rupture, but of course the pain is also much more intense.
The kind of infidelity we have suffered
Another detail to value is the type of infidelity, that is, it is not the same that our partner has been unfaithful to us with several people and on multiple occasions, than the fact that he may have had a small slip such as a simple kiss from the who has quickly repented.
The reasons why infidelity has occurred
We are also going to take into account the reasons why this infidelity may have occurred, that is, we usually talk about infidelity due to an occasional infidelity, but in other cases we can find, for example, a partner that does not work so that both they begin to lose the relationship to the point where they are finally more roommates than lovers.
We must take into account if this can be taken as a call for attention to make changes in our partner or, if on the contrary, it is actually reason enough to consider that it is not worthwhile to move forward and make an effort since surely in the future the same thing would happen again. That is, it is very important that we assess the reasons why this situation has occurred, since depending on them it is possible that we find ourselves in a situation in which there are many possibilities to solve it and leave this problem in the past, or that on the contrary, it is something that we think may end up repeating itself.
Assess the damage caused by infidelity
It is also essential that we carry out an analysis in order to really find out to what extent this infidelity has been able to harm us. Each person is a world in this sense, so it is essential that we study our feelings well and analyze what we feel towards that other person from now on.
It is essential that we find out if we are really going to have the ability to close that wound and never open it again, that is, if we decide to turn the page, it is essential that we completely forget about this problem, otherwise it would end becoming a constant reproach that, sooner or later, would undermine the relationship and eventually end up breaking up. For that reason, if we finally make the decision to move forward, it is necessary that we know how to leave this incident behind and archive it so that we never take it out again at any time and less in discussions.
Basically here we are going to have to analyze if we are going to be able to regain trust in our partner, and in case of being affirmative and of also having the capacity to leave this in oblivion, then we will have possibilities to be able to move on and be happy again, but if not, then it is better that we analyze well if it really is worth us It is worthwhile to continue sacrificing ourselves and suffering with a relationship that will really sooner or later end up dying.
Of course, it will also be very important that we take into account the feelings that there are towards that person who has been unfaithful to us, since this will be a determining factor when it comes to knowing if you are going to have the strength and energy to achieve get ahead, or really love has disappeared or even has been diluted with the passage of time until today we are aware that there was truly nothing between us.
Once you make the decision, communicate it to your partner
And obviously, once we have made a decision based on all the previous sections, it is time to calmly meet with our partner and count the assessments we have made as well as the decision we have made.
It is very important that, regardless of the way the conversation develops, you are firm with the decision, and it is that many times out of pain or fear, pity, etc. we end up changing at the last moment but in reality we will only be lengthening it. inevitable, with which we will be causing greater pain for both ourselves and our partner.
The moment of communicating this decision should be calm, in a neutral place and above all without discussions, that is, we should not throw things at our heads or get angry, but simply from now on we are going to take a different course and that is yours. decision, with which that person must respect and accept it regardless of whether he supports or is against it.
And of course, if we choose to move forward with the relationship, it is very important that at that same moment we both establish a commitment through which the person who has been unfaithful guarantees that they will not make a similar mistake again, and the person concerned, must ensure that all this is forgotten and will not use it to do more damage in the relationship.
Although it may seem complicated to do so, it is very important that we take into account all these details since otherwise it will be impossible for us to get ahead with the aim of recovering everything that this infidelity has damaged in our relationship.
So you know, if you consider forgiving an infidelity, you should analyze all these details to make a correct and fair decision for both you and your partner.