Many people are afraid of death, however it must be very sad to spend 20, 30, 40 or 50 years with a person by your side and wake up one day to discover that he will never be by your side again. This situation terrifies many people, more than its own death.
When you are faced with overwhelming pain, the only way to cope is to keep moving forward. There is no use lying in bed to cry day after day, you need to get on with life.
I leave you with a testimony of an older person who teaches us his particular vision about how to cope with pain:
«Ok, here is my comment. I am already old. This means that I have (so far) survived the loss of many people I have known and loved. I have lost my best friends, co-workers, grandparents, mothers, other not-so-close relatives, teachers, neighbors, and countless people I know.
I don't have children and I can't even imagine the pain that must be felt when losing a child, but here I leave you my two cents.
I wish I could say that you get used to seeing people die. But it's not like that. No one can get used to something as heartbreaking as death. A hole appears in my heart every time someone I love dies. My scars are a testament to the love and relationship I had with that person. If the scar is very deep, it is because you loved that person very much.
Scars are a testimony of life a testimony that I can deeply love a person and that I can heal their loss, continue living and continue loving ... and the scar tissue is stronger than the original tissue.
As for the penalty ... it's like waves. When a ship is wrecked, you are drowning in debris around you. Everything that floats around you reminds you of the beauty that that ship was and no longer exists. The only thing you can do is float. You find some rubble and hold onto it for a while. Maybe it's something physical, maybe it's a good memory or a photograph ... maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while all you can do is float ... stay alive.
At first the waves are 20 meters high and crash into you mercilessly. They come every 10 seconds and They don't even give you time to catch your breath. The only thing you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you find that the waves are still 20 meters long but they come more and more spaced. They still keep crashing into you but you can keep breathing.
You never know what will trigger the pain. It may be a song, a photo, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be anything ... and the wave crashes against you. But amid the waves there is life.
At some point you will discover that the waves are only 10 or 5 meters high and although they keep coming, they do so more and more spaced. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday or a Christmas. You can see them coming and you prepare for it. When they get hold of you you know you'll come out the other side. The waves don't stop coming and somehow you don't want them to ever stop. However, you know that you will survive their onslaught.
Other waves will come and you will survive again. If you're lucky, you will have a lot of scars that are the product of many loves ... and a lot of shipwrecks. "