We all feel lonely at some point in fact Although we are social beings and we like to be in the company of others, loneliness is part of life. The first step to overcome loneliness is to accept it and accept that we and our company is also a way to be well. You have been able to feel loneliness when, for example, you have felt alone despite being surrounded by people.
Loneliness
Feelings of loneliness are personal, so each person's experience of loneliness will be different. Actually, loneliness is not a fact, it is a feeling.
A common description of loneliness is the feeling we have when our need to reward social contact and relationships is not met. But loneliness is not always the same as being alone ... You can choose to be alone and live happily without much contact with other people, while others may find this lonely experience a nightmare.
Or you can have a lot of social contact, or be in a relationship or part of a family, and still feel lonely, especially if you do not feel understood or cared for by the people around you.
Causes of loneliness
Loneliness has many different causes, which vary from person to person. We do not always understand what an experience that makes us feel alone is about. For some people, certain life events can mean that they feel lonely, such as:
- Experience a duel
- A breakdown of a relationship
- Withdrawing and losing social contact
- Change job
- Start something new
- Move out of town
- People who live in certain circumstances may be more vulnerable to loneliness, for example:
- Not having friends or family
- Being separated from the family
- Single parents who care about others
- It's hard to maintain a social life
- Belonging to minority groups
- Have physical or social problems
- Experiencing discrimination of any kind
- Have experienced sexual or physical abuse
Some people experience deep and constant feelings of loneliness that come from within and do not go away, regardless of their social status or how many friends they have. There are many reasons why people experience this type of loneliness. You may feel unable to like yourself or others, or you may lack self-confidence. Thinking about what makes you feel alone can help you find a way to feel better.
How to overcome loneliness
Next we are going to give you some tips so that you overcome loneliness and that you realize that it is not so bad if you know how to live it and handle it as you please.
Do things for yourself
Ironically, If you're only trying to heal your loneliness by surrounding yourself with people, it can be remarkably short-lived. As soon as that person leaves, you are alone again. Instead, have a list of simple activities that you enjoy or are willing to try when alone: a puzzle, playing on your phone, crocheting, reading, watching movies, painting, writing ... The goal is to distract you from acute loneliness. in a healthy way and realize that your own company can also be pleasant.
You can even go out with yourself, you can use loneliness as an opportunity to get to know yourself better. Take yourself to dinner, to the movies, to the park, to the museum ... to places where you've always wanted to go. Many people seek relationships to regulate their emotions and feeling lonely can be an opportunity to learn how to do that for yourself.
Look for activities where you can be alone even when you are with other people
You can go to a library club, go to events in your city, you can meet people who have similar ideas to you, go to hiking clubs or go to classes to learn photography. The goal is to find a place where you will be surrounded by people, even if you are not necessarily making friends. If you meet someone cool there, even better, But the objective will not be that, but rather to enjoy what you are doing.
Try to be social sometimes, even if you don't feel like it
Does the thought of talking to new people make you break out in a cold sweat? That is not unusual. Loneliness has a way of making social interaction seem pointless. At some point, you just have to force yourself to do it ... And things will change around you almost without realizing it. Daily affirmations, such as positive "I" statements, may help you with this. Thinking things like: I am interesting, I have things to offer, I am not afraid of rejection, they are some good examples.
Loneliness, if you want, is temporary
Even if you feel lonely now, that does not mean that you will always feel lonely or that you will never find people who are by your side. You are the architect of your future, you have to go out and make new ties if you want to enjoy solitude and company at the same time. Everyone has something to offer in relationships, you just have to get out there and create them.
Go to therapy
If, even if it costs you to go to therapy, sometimes going to a mental health professional is a good idea. It does not mean that loneliness itself is a problem, it only means that you must learn to accept it in your life, find out why you do not like being alone and change that, to be able to accept yourself as the best company there is.
Even if you are skeptical of the other values of therapy, it can be helpful for loneliness simply because you are being listened to and valued. Sometimes it's about someone listening to you.
Remember that in the vast majority of cases, loneliness is an option that you choose. If you think you are lonely because you are a shy person, You will only have to overcome that shyness on your own or with the help of a professional. Loneliness does not have to make you feel bad nor does it have to be a vicious cycle, it can be temporary or simply a choice.