Low self-esteem in children

A child with low self-esteem It is a very sad sight and parents often do not realize this situation. Unfortunately, many times, it is the parents themselves who are responsible for their children's low self-esteem and they do not realize that they are the only ones who can help the child to get out of this situation.

There can be the paradox of seeing children or young people who are exceptionally strong and fearless but suffer from low self-esteem. The same can happen the other way around. These people, with their behavior, try to hide who they really are and end up spending most of their life posing as someone else.

Having a healthy sense of self-worth is just as important as having a good education.

Low self-esteem in children.

A child who suffers from low self-esteem often isolates himself from the world, giving a sign of being shy. Most parents blame it on shyness.

Low self-esteem in children causes delays in educational and maturational development because children are afraid to interact with other people. Children do not ask questions in class when they do not understand something and they are falling behind in their school education, which aggravates their low self-esteem.

The consequences of low self-esteem in children are always disastrous. Parents have to know how to detect this type of problem to find a solution quickly.

Symptoms of low self-esteem in children.


1) Shyness: a child suffering from low self-esteem becomes excessively shy and will avoid meeting new people or facing new situations.

What parents need to understand is that this extreme shyness is not normal. Shyness to a certain extent is acceptable but if the child refuses to relate to people it is time to find a solution.

2) Insecurity: Low self-esteem in children often leads to insecurities. A child who does not separate from his mother is often a sign of low self-esteem. In this way the child feels protected and ensures that he or she does not have to talk to anyone.

3) Fear: Children with low self-esteem are afraid to try new things because they have already assumed that they will fail.

A child with a healthy self-esteem is usually carefree and does not think twice about jumping off a wall. However, a child with low self-esteem can be very careful and not overly adventurous.

4) Procrastination: procrastination is a very easy symptom for parents to observe.

One of the fundamental characteristics of children is their curiosity. They are always looking to try and experience new things. However, a child with low self-esteem often tends to procrastinate. He does it because he is afraid of failing. You simply cannot accept failure positively and would rather not try.

5) Pessimism: These children often have pessimism installed in their hearts and are reluctant to try new things because they feel they are going to fail. Parents can often hear phrases like "I can't do it" or "I told you I didn't know how to do it."

6) Perfection: children with low self-esteem are mostly perfectionists. If they do not do things perfectly, they feel that they are not doing them well and that they are not worth it.

7) Dependency: children with low self-esteem are often very dependent on their parents. They prefer not to make friends, they have virtually none, and therefore end up staying home.

These children, for the most part, lack decision-making capacity and feel the need to turn to their parents constantly.

We cannot ignore all these characteristics of children with low self-esteem. In order to deal with this problem, parents must take action. The process of solving this problem begins with identifying the reason. There are many reasons behind a child's low self-esteem: it can be the consequence of an excessively authoritarian father, of the comparison with a very efficient sibling, ...

Once the cause is determined, get down to business. Children are very formable and patient We can change that feeling of little worth.


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  1.   Alexandra Carballo said

    How can I help a child with low self-esteem? As a mother, how can I help you?

  2.   Rebecca Gutierrez said

    My daughter is eight years old and goes to first grade, but I feel that she has low self-esteem because she is always aware of whether her classmates speak to her or not, that affects her a lot in her studies, to such a degree that her grades are lowered. she likes to get out of the house and is very attached to me. However I notice that for other things she speaks like a mature person, she sings beautifully, and sometimes she says that she is the prettiest in the class, she also says that she is very intelligent. So I really don't know if she really has low self-esteem or I am defining it that way and maybe the girl doesn't have low self-esteem. I would like to know what you think about my comment? I am a divorced person, we divorced when she was two years eight months. her father is quite distant and she notices it.

    1.    Daniel said

      Hi Rebeca, maybe your daughter is more mature than the rest of her classmates and feels different, that's why she tends to seek her approval. However, as she is more mature, she realizes the positive aspects that she has. She has to hold on to those positive qualities that she possesses so that her self-esteem is not affected.

      Reinforce her most positive aspects to make her feel strong. Nor could it hurt a little more socialization, I'm not talking about school, but in your neighborhood, with your neighbors, cousins, ...

      Do not give too much importance to this issue because the girl can detect your concern in you and you can infect her with that concern.

      Greetings.

    2.    Anonymous said

      I suppose she does not have low self-esteem, I just imagine that it is different, I mean that it can be lonely, as an older sister I am also lonely so people think I have something ... I say it is special but you should pay attention if it gives more strange signs you should check it with someone of experience ... I hope I can help you.

  3.   Ana said

    I may have promoted low self-esteem.
    ima in my daughter? I think that I always let her know that she is slow, that she does not do things well, sometimes I think that my impotence takes advantage of her, I have been single since she was 5 months old and now she is about to turn 11 years old. I have to do everything with her and apart I have to work until the weekends.
    What can I do to help each other? Because in school he is also very low in Math and Social Studies. THANK YOU!!!

    1.    Anonymous said

      Look, you shouldn't tell her that, sometimes they tell me and I feel like I'm worthless, you shouldn't take it out on her, think before acting ... the truth is, I went through that stage and it was too difficult, maybe she thinks you're not satisfied with what she does, but I imagine that in happy moments she forgets everything and returns to do the same as before, I imagine that she does not have low self-esteem but you should pay attention ... I hope I can help you ...

  4.   Liliana said

    I need help with a case of an issue of self-esteem in children and its relationship with learning, I would like to hear your opinion about it thanks: 3

  5.   Liz said

    Hello, I think my son has low self-esteem, he constantly highlights the qualities of all children and tells me that he cannot, even in activities or areas that he masters, what can I do to support him?

    1.    Daniel said

      Hi Liz, I happened to write an article today in which I talk about it. You can read it here.

    2.    Anonymous said

      The only thing you should do is tell him if you can, I believe in you ... it may help him, but if he repeats that again, tell him, let's try it ... I don't know if it will help you

  6.   Ana said

    Hello, my 3-year-old boy does not speak anything in class and does not play with his classmates, but then at home and in the street it is quite a whirlwind, he seems a different child and relates perfectly with other children although it is difficult for him to start but he does not know how to define it or understand and how to help you to relate to your colleagues as they are your day to day. Thank you

    1.    Anonymous said

      I suppose that since I have two faces, the funny one and the serious one, but I don't think he has low self-esteem, I prefer to say that he is attentive in class and not lonely, I say that he should gain confidence, but if you give him confidence he will give it the same ... I hope to be able to help you

  7.   Maria said

    Hello. My daughter is turning 4 years old and she is afraid of the new, be it food or activities or experiences. I'm? very worried and I don't know what to do. I had not analyzed the issue of self-esteem, I have a major problem with my own self-esteem and I'm afraid I have transmitted all this to you. How can I help you?

    1.    Anonymous said

      Well, first of all you shouldn't be sad you should be happy despite how difficult it is, I know it's not easy but be strong like me, if your daughter is like that, she has to be because she is afraid of failing but as I always say with one hand everything it is possible, give her help, maybe as she is growing up she is changing ... I don't think it will help you much but the best thing would be for you to go out for a walk as Mother and Daughter ...

  8.   Veronica said

    Hello, I need help, my son is 12 years old, he has low self-esteem, he wants to interact with his classmates for only without friends, he gets frustrated quickly, he is sometimes aggressive and, more ... I think that in part I am very demanding, authoritarian and loud and aggressive with He and I need some therapy for him or
    For my I love my son and it hurts to see him so shy and it is difficult for him to relate as nervous and hides some things because he is afraid of what retegrqvias help me what to do

    1.    Anonymous said

      This story becomes familiar to my cousin's mother, her mother yelled at her, hit her and told her that she was worth nothing ... First you must give her your confidence, I know it is difficult but if she hides things from you it is because she is afraid of disappointing you like that towards me You should teach them to be polite but if you have already taught them repeat it to memorize it, they may suffer from nerves that you should check with someone with experience, the truth is that you must be patient I am not a psychologist but I know that if they yell at someone And that person who yelled at him or her is very important to him or her thinks that he or she has not done enough, I say this because I went through that ... spend time, tell each other secrets, I say do not leave him alone ... no offense but there are mothers who leave alone their children and they change permanently, please do not abandon it ... I hope I can help you ..