We are not just raising children, we are raising future adults. What we do as parents creates a sense of normalcy for our children, which roots habits and behaviors that lead to adulthood. Of course, we want the best for our children: to have a happy life, to be ready for the real world, or to just improve in school. Most of the time we want them to be successful, So as parents, it is normal that you want to seek advice to achieve it.
Psychology can help you with all of this, and in fact, there are specific things that parents can model to more effectively nurture successful and well-balanced young adults. To achieve this, psychology says that children have to see in you the following that we tell you.
To struggle
Don't hide your struggles just to appear perfect. It is necessary for children to see how you fight in life, because that way you will be able to transmit to them the value of the fight. Let your children see you struggle, how you do things, how you overcome them, how you rest or how you ask for help.
Cry
Do not be ashamed if your children see you cry, In this way, they will learn to normalize those more intense emotions that do not make us feel quite right. Do not cancel your sad feelings, your children must realize that all emotions are valid and they all help us at certain times.
Kiss your partner
You may not want to give your partner kisses in case your children are embarrassed or so that, if they are older, they do not think about kissing other people. But in reality, kisses are necessary for children to realize the importance of transmitting the love felt towards the people we love. Even a little kiss on the cheek helps bring people closer together.
Exercise
Exercise helps maintain a healthy mind and body. It is normal and necessary for human beings to move every day of their lives in order to have good health. It is important that children see in their parents an example of movement and that they not only see those parents who after work throw themselves on the sofa to watch TV and eat chips. A sedentary life is just as dangerous to health as smoking, so it is necessary to start moving and doing things as a family, such as riding a bicycle, going for a walk, etc.
Learning
Some of the behaviors most important to the role model are a bit contradictory (like showing struggle or crying) and can create tension. Proving that you are a lifelong learner is one of these, because you have to put in the time to do it.
Our children will probably change careers many times, so they need to have the comfort / agility to learn new things. Children who see parents read tend to read more… your example is the best teacher.
Be kind to yourself
People who base their self-esteem on external sources, such as the approval of others, tend to have more mental health problems. Instead, those people who base their self-esteem on internal sources, (internal dialogue, values), they will have better grades and less incidence of drugs, alcohol or eating disorders.
In other words, the outside world poses enough challenges for your child's self-esteem, so you need to model kind behavior with yourself, because if we don't treat each other well, who will? Although easier said than done, it is possible.
Be thoughtful
This can be evidenced through spirituality or simply by taking time for reflection and introspection. The point is to counteract the focus on achievement and acquisition. You may seem to struggle with the desire to help them succeed, But it helps children experience the deepest part of what it means to be human.
Be creative
Children are creative by nature, and adults too, but sometimes they seem to forget. In this sense, as a parent, try to get the early habit of how happy it makes you to create new things take root in your children. It is not about achieving something, but about expressing and feeling while it is being created.
Enjoy the time
This is the basis of everything. You should regularly spend time with your children, take an interest in their hobbies and problems, and, most importantly, listen to what they have to say. Not only will you learn a lot about your son or daughter's unique personality, Rather, your actions will provide an example of how to show care and attention to others.
Solve problems without running away from them
For example, if your child suddenly decides that he wants to quit soccer practice, ask him to explain why he wants to do that, as well as the obligations he has to his teammates. If he still wants to quit, help him find something new to ignite his passions.
Be thankful for homework
People who are used to expressing gratitude are more likely to feel compassion for others, are more generous, and love to help. Therefore, it is worth developing a set of daily activities that your child can help you with at home, for which you can thank him at every stage of the day. Psychologists also recommend rewarding children for their genuine displays of kindness and the effort they put into helping you.
Coping with negative emotions
Psychologists believe that the ability to care for others is suppressed by negative emotions such as anger, hatred, shame, and envy. By helping children understand these negative feelings, you will push them to resolve their inner conflicts. Self-analysis of this type will set you on a long road to becoming compassionate and caring individuals. It is also important to establish psychological stability.
Understand that the world is large and complex
According to research conducted by psychologists, almost all children are interested only in the small world of their family and friends. It is crucial that they also learn to care about people and events outside of this limited circle, which may differ from what they know in social, cultural, and geographic terms. You can help your children with this by learning to be a good listener who can put themselves in someone else's shoes and feel empathy, be it through movies, photos or news.
Thanks very good advice.