Sarcastic phrases to share

We have prepared a list with sarcastic phrases perfect for you to share with your friends, family and that you can use on your social networks, WhatsApp or anywhere else where you want to give that original and intelligent touch with which many will surely recognize you.

What is sarcasm and what purpose does it have

Sarcasm is a cruel form that aims to ridicule, insult or humiliate a person making use of irony.

As you already know, irony is saying one thing when it is intended to express the opposite, so that we use different tones, we shape the phrase in a special way, or even we gesture so that our interlocutor understands what we are referring to.

However, in the case of irony we are saying the opposite of what we think but without any bad intention, that is, it can even be a fun and original form of communication that is also often used in literature. But in sarcasm we go further, and what we try is to offend the person we are directing to sarcasm, or even the core, association, and in general the objective is to insult one or more people based on their beliefs, attitudes, actions, etc.

However, there is also another type of sarcasm that basically aims to present a complaint but, in the same way, saying the opposite of what is thought, how could we say in a meeting “As they continue to bring so much water, we are going to drown”When we try to convey that we are thirsty.

Evidently it is not easy to express neither irony nor sarcasm written, which is why, through media such as the internet, it is essential that we wrap them within a suitable context so that the people who read us understand that we are using these forms of expression.

Once you understand the objective of sarcasm, we are going to offer you a collection of sarcastic phrases that we think can be very original to use with any type of person, but yes, remember that in most cases we can offend, so it is essential that we only use them when it is truly appropriate.

The best sarcastic phrases

Below we offer you the list with some of the best sarcastic phrases with which you are going to laugh.

• Marry me and I'll never look at another horse again!
• One hundred thousand sperm and you were the fastest?
• What if I'm still in love with you? I'm not going to respond to such stupidity.
• Did you say that your pride makes love to you better than me?
• Why do you tell me "I love you" if when you leave you are thinking of someone else?
• Why should we accept sexual advice from the pope? If you know anything about sex, you shouldn't!
• Why do you talk so much about freedom? If you are always imitating others ...
• Why do priests give us so many lessons about sex, if they haven't tried it?
• That I will never find anyone like you? That is the key!
• Do you want to be productive? Change your personality.
• Do you know why you don't appear in the dictionary? Because you don't mean anything.
• Some people like my advice so much that they frame it on the wall instead of using it.
• Maybe I've changed my position, but I'm still right.
• It often seems a bit sad that Noah and his family didn't miss the boat.
• From now on I will give you the same that I receive from you.
• Sometimes I need what only you can give me: your absence.
• I just realized that I have lost something. - The fact that? - All the time I spent with you.
• Someone who thinks logically provides a cool contrast to the world.
• He loves nature despite what she did to him.
• You claim to be yourself, while behaving like your idols.
• Yesterday I would have traveled the whole world for you. Today I wouldn't even get out of bed.
• It is enough to make me happy so that my weakness allows you to play with my feelings.
• Every time I look at you I have a fierce desire to feel alone.
• Honey, why are you sneezing so much lately? - Because I'm allergic to your lies.
• I believe in luck. How else to explain the success of those you don't like?
• Any woman can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand tall and look stupid.
• When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. I realized that the man doesn't work like that, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
• When I was a child I was told that anyone can be president and I begin to believe it.
• When people are free to do what they want, they often imitate others.
• When I think about who you left me for, I don't know if it makes me laugh or pity.
• The more I am with you, the more I want to be alone.
• As a child, my parents assured me that anyone can become president of a nation. Today I have confirmed that it is true.
• Inside me there is as much hatred as there was love one day. Was there?
• Ever since you cheated on me, I've wanted to jump down a ravine, but I'm not going to do it because I don't have wings, but horns.
• Unfortunately, the wisdom of a society emerges when we have exhausted all resources.
• During my childhood, I prayed every day for a new motorcycle. But when I found out how things worked, I stole one and prayed to the Lord to forgive me.
• 100% of Americans are 99% idiots.
• The eternal dilemma: too tired to get up, too awake to go back to sleep.
• Marriage is the principal cause of divorce.
• The first problem in this country is apathy, but who cares.
• The problem with common sense is that most people are dumb.
• The problem with children is that they cannot be returned.
• Human beings are extraordinary. He knows how to identify a stone when he has stumbled on it the second time.
• They want to see you grow. But never more than them. Remember it.
• I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go to another room to read a book.
• You are the best example that men do not think with their brain.
• You are a habit that I would like to kick. With both feet.
• You are one of those routines that I would like to get rid of.
• It is better for them to say bad things about you than not to say anything.
• It is a catastrophic success.
• He is a self-made man and adores his creator.
• I hope Cupid's next crush is more successful.
• You are perfectly full of blemishes.
• I'm impressed; I have never known such a small mind in such a big head.
• I'm busy. Can I ignore you for a little longer?
• You were eternal for a few weeks.
• I have not talked to my girlfriend for a long time so as not to interrupt what I am doing with "the other".
• Do something productive. Stop being yourself.
• I've had a great day, but it wasn't today.
• Action speaks louder than words, but not nearly as often.
• The experience is a wonderful thing. It allows you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
• People appreciate the little things you do for them. And that's how you avoid being asked to do something else.
• History has taught us that man and nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all alternatives.
• Infidelity is a consequence of your mistreatment moving me towards abstinence.
• Immortality is not achieved by remaining in the memory of others. It is achieved by not dying.
• Memory has a gift: it especially remembers what we want to forget.
• The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, which means ability to, and bic, which means to endure tremendous boredom.
• The person who asks you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
• The meeting between procrastinators has been postponed.
• Luck is the great ally of my enemies when they are successful.
• Television is an inexhaustible source of knowledge. When I turn it on, I go to another room to read a book.
• All Americans are practically all idiots.
• Life is like a roller coaster and I'm about to throw up.
• Life is gray before turning totally black.
• I said "give me everything you want", and all I received were lies.
• Reader, imagine you were an idiot and you were a member of Congress. But I am repeating myself.
• The best I can get from you is your absence.
• The worst thing anyone can tell you is to be yourself.
• Yours has been a catastrophic achievement.
• The only thing worse than they talk about you is that they don't talk about you.
• The only thing that matters is that they talk about you, even if it is well.
• Consumers are not stupid; your wife is one of them.
• Psychologists give you the same advice as a friend, but for a lot of money.
• Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those who know everything.
• I would love for us to be better strangers.
• I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
• I like the trips of no return. I'd buy all the people I hate a ticket.
• I would like to be your best stranger.
• I'd like to take you seriously, but to do so would offend your intelligence.
• I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be imperceptible.
• I like you. People say I don't have good taste, but I like you.
• You have pushed me so many times from the top, that I have become rubber to bounce on the ground.
• I feel miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
• My worst mistake was smiling at you when you complimented me.
• Many people are little more than employees of their possessions.
• Nothing fixes something so intensely in memory as the desire to forget it.
• I was swimming in a sea called Woman and ended up drowning.
• You need plastic surgery, not a doctor.
• Don't accept treats from strangers unless they take you somewhere.

• I didn't attend the funeral, but I did send a letter saying I approved.
• Don't thank me for criticizing you, it was a pleasure.
• I do not understand how that inept can be a deputy, worth the redundancy.
• You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
• You don't have to understand things to argue about them.
• It's not that I don't want to know, it's that I don't care.
• I do not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend your right to say it to the death.
• I'm not crying, I'm just detoxing from the love I felt for you.
• I haven't spoken to my wife in years. He didn't want to interrupt her.
• I'm not going to your funeral, but that doesn't mean I don't approve of it.
• You didn't disappoint me because I never expected anything from you.
• Do not swear to me something that you are not going to fulfill.
• You don't need a doctor to help you, but a good plastic surgery.
• We did not lose the game; our time is over.
• I will not allow my teachers to interfere with my thinking.
• You cannot be one in a million, because that would mean that you are like seven million other people in this world.
• I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to get it without dying.
• I'm not cold, just now I think more with my head than with my heart.
• I'm not young enough to know.
• I am not vegan out of respect for animals; is that I can't stand plants.
• I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am because I hate plants.
• I do not usually forget a face, but with you I will make an exception.
• I don't miss you, but who I thought you were.
• Don't make an effort: yesterday your opinion mattered to me, today I absolutely do not care.
• I wouldn't kill you, but every day I read the obituaries in case your name appears.
• What you're wearing doesn't look good on you. - The what of everything? - Your pride.
• He has no enemies, but his friends hate him intensely.
• He has no enemies, but his friends don't want to see him even in paint.
• I never let school interfere with my education.
• Never leave for tomorrow what you can leave for the day after tomorrow.
• Never waste an opportunity to shut up.
• He has never been known to use a word that can send the reader to the dictionary.
• I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
• I have never allowed myself to be indoctrinated at school.
• I never forget a face, but in your case I will make an exception.
• He never stops to think; it's really hard to waste time with your own thoughts.
• Get the facts first, then you can distort them however you want.
• To be sure you hit your target, shoot first and call whatever you hit "the target."
• For your information, I would like to ask a question.
• Spending all day criticizing me is not going to make you better than me.
• Poor Faulkner. Do you really think that great emotions come from great words?
• Poor universe, if we are the only intelligent beings that inhabit it.
• I could tell you are lying: your lips are moving.
• Analyze the situation first, then alter the data however you like.
• He may be drunk, miss, but in the morning I'll be sober and you'll still be ugly.
• I may have had too much to drink, but I'll be back to normal tomorrow and you'll still be ugly.
• My opinion may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
• Your ear may know how to listen to your friends, but your brain is always thinking about something else.
• You can be anything you want; however, in your case you should aim low.
• I can do many things at the same time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously.
• What a shame that I became your friend, I wish the friends could return.
• Stay by my side, I want to be alone.
• I want either more corruption or more opportunity to participate in it.
• I know how to multitask, but I'm better at avoiding multitasking.
• Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
• Being stupid, selfishness and having good health are three requirements for happiness, but if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
• If you think that words awaken feelings, it is because you have never lived.
• If you find it difficult to laugh for yourself, I will be happy to do it for you.
• If you are one in a million, there are six million people exactly like you.
• If I was twice as smart as I am now, you would be absolutely stupid.
• If playing with me were a sport, you would be an Olympic champion.
• If you don't learn to smile for yourself, I can help you by doing it for you.
• If you don't read the newspaper you are not informed; If you read it, you are misinformed.
• If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask a silly question.
• If you don't like the way I am, you know where the door is.
• If you want to hit the target, shoot and then make your target what you have hit.
• If we are the only intelligent life in the universe, there are at least a finite number of idiots.
• If you marry me, I swear not to notice other orcs.
• If you have a clear conscience, it means that you do not have a good memory.
• If a stranger offers you a treat, take two.
• Sow memories and you will collect tears.
• It is always black before it becomes absolutely dark.
• I used to put you on a pedestal. Now I will raise that pedestal to the top, so I don't have to see you.
• Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the first.
• I am easily satisfied with the best.
• I'm so smart that sometimes I don't understand a word I'm saying.
• His ignorance is encyclopedic.
• So many wounds have only made me stronger.
• You walked away from me when I needed you the most and came back when I didn't care about you anymore.
• Be careful reading health books. You could die from a mistake.
• I tended to put my wife on a pedestal.
• We have the best government money can buy.
• We have a great government. That's why it has cost us so much money ...
• He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
• You have an inferiority complex and it is completely justified.
• Your absence has left me a void ... just like your presence.
• Your opinion is so important to me that instead of using it, I'm going to frame it.
• A good listener often thinks about something else.
• A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one individually believes.
• A prisoner is a man who tries to kill you and fails, so he asks you not to kill him.
• A psychiatrist is a guy who asks you a lot of expensive questions that your wife asks you about nothing.
• An action demonstrates much more than a thousand words, but not as often.
• A clear conscience is usually a sign of poor memory.
• A lady like you will never hurt me, because I play chess.
• You are a princess, but you do not remember which man you lost the crown with.
• I respect your fucking opinion.
• I would take you seriously, but that would be an insult to your stupidity.

With this we end our list with the best sarcastic phrases that you can share both with people you appreciate and even with those to whom you want to say something indirectly and consider the best way is through this type of irony.