Shyness is not the same as introversion. When we speak of introversion, we refer to a person who enjoys solitude and if he has few friends it is because he chooses, that is how he is well and finds social comfort. On the other hand, a person who is shy would like to have more social skills so that he can have more friends or be able to relate in a different way with others than he does in the present. Shy children can be anxious because they want more friends but don't know how.
Children need the guidance of adults, especially their parents to be able to socialize more and better with others. In this way they will be able to have healthy friendships that accompany them in their growth. A shy child will not become a social being overnight, but it can be helped to learn how social environments work and to build good social relationships.
Is your child shy?
In general, there is nothing wrong with being shy. Shy children tend to hear better and have fewer problems in school. Being shy becomes a problem when it gets in the way of doing what is normally expected or when it makes your child unhappy. You may want professional advice if your child:
- Does not want to go to school
- Has trouble making friends
- Worries about going to birthday parties or playing sports
- Is eager to be shy
Causes
Shyness is quite common. It is estimated that between 20% and 48% of people have shy personalities. Most shy children are simply born that way, although negative experiences can play a role as well. Did your child's shyness appear suddenly? If so, an event could have triggered it and they might need help to get through it.
Accepting the shy personality
Shy children often have common traits. Once these natural behaviors are recognized, they can be worked with rather than against them. Shy children are often self-reliant, caring, and empathetic, but they often don't like trying new things. They may take longer to get sick and adjust to new situations.
They are also likely to want to be more social but find it difficult to approach others out of fear, insecurity, or lack of social skills. In this sense, It is necessary to allow them their own rhythm and not pressure them to open up more to others.
How to help a shy child
Shy children who want to improve their social relationships will need help from their environment, without pressure and respecting their rhythms to achieve it. They want to have more friends and learn to relate in healthier ways but they cannot always do so because they feel fears that block them.
Next we are going to give you some tips so that, if you have a child who is shy, you can teach him skills that help him to be more sociable now have healthier interpersonal relationships.
- Provide an entry strategy. Help your child reach out to a group of peers and listen, allowing everyone some time to get used to each other. Teach him to find a break in the conversation and to join in without seeming too forced. Offer talking points beforehand, such as, "I like boats too." Another idea at this point is to give him conversation starters so that he is able to break the ice with other people, mentioning something, for example, that he likes about the other person's outfit. Establishing a strong interpersonal relationship takes time and patience between interactions.
- Build trust. Remind him of a time when he was in new situations and got over it. When you go to a birthday party, for example, mention another party you attended and how much fun you had with the other children. In this sense, it is a good idea that you help them overcome the challenges that reinforce themselves and how they can do it again.
- Work on social skills. Give your child a chance to practice his social skills whenever he can. At the store, encourage him to pay the cashier. At dinner, ask them to order their own food. Invite a friend to play so your child can practice more with his classmates.
- Offer positive feedback. Praise or reward your little one for small steps, such as saying hello or talking to someone. If he gets stuck in front of someone, talk about it with him later and tell him what he can improve the next time he finds himself in such a situation.
- Express empathy. Tell your child that you can see that he feels shy and that you sometimes feel that way too, that it is something normal that somebody happens to everyone. time. Share with your child stories from your life about times when it happened to you and how you have overcome it, and how good you feel now about it.
- Be a role model of outgoing behavior. When you show your child how to greet people, converse, and be nice, they feel more comfortable doing the same. Above all, it is very important that you show your love, your acceptance and your respect for their personality. Let him know that it's okay to be shy and that he's like that. You don't have to change your personality, you just have to learn strategies that make you feel better and have healthier friendships now and in the future if that's what you really want.
- Don't embarrass him. Never embarrass him for being shy or label him with the word "shy." Your child must feel that his personality is not a problem for him, but that if he wants to improve in his personal relationships it is because he wants to do it, not because nobody is pressuring him. Never make him feel less just by being shy, rather make him see that people tend to have many advantages in their personality.