Techniques for dealing with criticism

Before looking at these techniques for dealing with criticism, I invite you to watch this video that tells us a short story about what we are going to talk about and with a great moral.

In this video they show us in an entertaining and fun way how we have to act in the face of criticism from others and whatever we do, there will always be people who criticize us:

[mashshare]

When we talk about criticizing or listening to the word "Criticism" is not uncommon for us to associate it with something negative; with pointing out flaws or what can be done better. It is not unusual either that it is accompanied (on many occasions) by words that are not the most appropriate when giving a message ... I think what I'm talking about sounds familiar.

Do you always have a negative connotation? Will they always be ours "Enemies"?

To clarify a bit what the word critical means, and remove this somewhat unpleasant image from our mind; I leave the following definition from the Dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy:

"Examination and judgment about someone or something and, in particular, the one who expresses himself publicly about a show, a book, an artistic work, etc".

That is to say, it doesn't have to be a negative judgment, nor does he have to express himself in an unpleasant way. It is a way of communicating our perceptions (what we observe of something or someone) and how does it make us feel what we observe (the attitude of a person, his behavior, a play etc).

The how we communicate it and with what intention It is what makes the difference between some criticisms and others, and it is what makes us feel very good or really bad when we receive them.

RECEIVE REVIEWS ... WITHOUT BREAKING OVER.

To be able to face a criticism it is important to:

 -To know acknowledge our mistakes and consider that criticism can be a learning opportunity.

-Keep calm and don't fall apart.

-Listen to her to recognize what type it is and thus know which technique to use.

TYPES OF CRITICS

Destructive: With them I know tries to hurt or humiliate to the person. Make her feel underappreciated and / or despised by others.

Constructive: This kind of criticism try to help improve, move forward and achieve goals. They can positive (They highlight strengths, skills, recognize a job well done, etc.) or negative (They deal with mistakes and aspects to improve in order to benefit the person and achieve their advancement).

Criticisms can also be expressed correctamente (without disrespect and using non-aggressive verbal and non-verbal language) or incorrectly (quite the opposite).

TECHNIQUES TO RECEIVE NEGATIVE CONSTRUCTION CRITICS

If they have expressed the criticism correctly.

-Ask for details. Try to obtain information in order to improve.

"What are you talking about?" "What do you mean with…?" "What do you think I could do to…?"

- Contemplate the possibility that the person is right.

-Thank the information received and the manner in which it was expressed.

-If you agree with the criticism, you can commit to change and improve those "failures" asking for suggestions for it. If you do not agree, show your disagreement without disrespect: "I appreciate it, although I remain convinced that ..." "I understand that you think so but ..." "Thank you although I still maintain that ..."

If they have expressed the criticism incorrectly.

-You can follow the same guidelines as in the previous case, but expressing your disagreement with the way they have criticized you: "I would like you to tell me next time without yelling."

TECHNIQUES TO RECEIVE DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISMS

-In this case not interested in obtaining information, but in stopping criticism or neutralizing it. It is important to be emotionally independent of criticism because, if we "explode," we will encourage the person to continue criticizing.

THE CUTOUT Consists in disregard the offensive part and hurtful of criticism and focus only on the part of the criticism that interests you.

- “You are a fool; you never tell when you're going to be late, you don't care about everything ”.

- “You're right, I should have called you to let you know. This time the means of transport were delayed and so did I ”.  

SEPARATE TOPICS: Consists in distinguish the different messages that the critic has and treat them separately.

- "You are a bad friend because I ask you to lend me the car and you don't feel like it."

- “That he does not lend you the car does not mean that he is not your friend. I just don't like to leave the car to anyone ”.

DISARM THE ANGER: When the person is very angry it is convenient ignore the message (generally aggressive) and politely refuse to continue with the topic. Once the person has calmed down, the conversation resumes.

"-I'm fed up! You always do the same, you are unbearable! "

- “I see that you are angry and I would like to talk about it. In this tone we cannot clarify anything, or we calm down or come back to it later ”.

Let's not be afraid of criticism; can provide us with very information valuable and useful if we know how to listen.

Do we practice?