Anger is considered by the vast majority of people as a negative, uncontrolled, and uncivilized emotion. And no wonder. Anger can do a lot of harm to the people it is directed at as well as the person experiencing it.
Sigmund Freud, in his book "The malaise in culture", calls this emotion "Thanatos" or death drive. Hence, its bad reputation often leads us to want to suppress it, silence it, deny it or disguise it when it is presented. In some families its expression is worse seen than in others. In fact, it is interesting to reflect on how anger has been handled (or generally, any negative emotion) in our family of origin - if it was an emotion that could be talked about or on the contrary, it was not welcome at all - to understand the meaning we attribute to it. Many people experience the anger of the other as a personal attack, as a rejection. It evokes narcissistic wounds from the past. However, Hiding or repressing its existence slows our personal growth, leaves us with a bitter taste in our relationships and is also detrimental to our health. It is important to give an outlet to what happens within us because what the words do not express, the body ends up expressing, through physical ailments for example. The body is much wiser than we think but unfortunately we have been educated not to pay too much attention to it.
Thus, like any other emotion, anger has a function and can be used for beneficial purposes.
Some of the benefits highlighted in an article published in http://www.spring.org.uk by Jeremy Dean are as follows:
- Anger acts as a motivating force
Anger pushes us towards our goals and helps us overcome with more determination the problems or barriers that appear along the way. Therefore, when used properly, anger makes us feel more powerful and motivates us more vehemently to achieve what we propose or want.
- Anger can benefit relationships
Anger is a natural reaction and is a way of communicating a feeling of injustice. Society has convinced us that anger is dangerous and that it is better to hide it. However, a study by Baumeister et al. (1990) reveals that not communicating our anger in our close relationships increases misunderstandings since the other person does not know what they have done wrong. By depriving him of an opportunity to repair or correct his mistakes, the other person is likely to repeat them again. Therefore, anger is positive when it is oriented towards the desire to find a solution and strengthen the relationship, not when it manifests itself only as a way of venting anger or in the form of pride.
- Anger can be a game changer
If we learn to more consciously detect the first signs of anger in us and what triggers that reaction (although it seems that, many times we are not clear about it), our capacity for introspection will be improved. This increased awareness is most effective when we also pay attention to what is going on in our body. The result will be an increase in our motivation for change.
- Anger reduces violence
Although anger often precedes physical violence, it can also serve to reduce it. It is like a mediator, an instrument that allows us to express feelings of injustice or the need to resolve a situation without jumping directly into violence.
Anger is experienced as one of the most difficult emotions to control, so you have to be careful. But perhaps it is precisely this repression that we exert on it that makes us more prone to react uncontrollably.