We are going to start this new article that tries to analyze why again and again we stumble over the same stone. The saying that says that "The human being is the only animal that stumbles twice on the same stone".
It is possible to overcome our limitations, shortcomings and problems. No matter how many times we stumble on the same stone, we must not lose heart and keep trying. One of the postulates of Neurolinguistic Programming says that there are no failures, only unwanted results.
If you are here it is because you want to find how to successfully overcome that goal that resists. Surely that resistance is the product of a lack of will.
Surely the smoker who fails in his countless attempts to quit smoking has the will to quit but missing capitalized "WILL". Whoever truly feels, needs something, does everything possible to get it. Surely that smoker who does not obtain the desired result does not feel that Vital Need.
The people who stumble over and over on the same stone we have an unconscious that betrays us, that does not let us change, that sabotages us. I have recently heard a story that serves as an analogy to understand what I am trying to explain.
The hunted monkey
In certain parts of Africa monkeys are hunted in a very particular and ingenious way. The hunter leaves a peanut in a small hole between rocks through which only the outstretched hand fits.
When the hunter leaves, the monkey, who has been observing the scene, approaches and reaches in, grabs his peanut but he is trapped because he refuses to open his hand and abandon his prize. His hand is closed as it contains his prized treasure. The hunter approaches with a net and captures the monkey because it is unable to give up its treasure.
Something similar happens to us. We are located in our comfort zone and we do not want to make certain changes because they involve certain sacrifices that we are not willing to pay.
Pain and pleasure
The only way not to trip over the same stone is change our plan. Only those who do different things get different results. If nothing changes inside of us, we will continue to stumble over and over again.
It is about exploring our mind and investigating what we must change to achieve our goals. Surely we can associate pleasure with change and pain with stagnation.
The human being moves according to the principles of pain and pleasure. Run away from pain and seek pleasure. If we manage to associate or increase pain to our immobile state, perhaps our unconscious will lead us to the desired change because this will be the one that gives us pleasure.
Case study
I put a case study that serves as inspiration:
One person started taking muscle relaxants (trankimazines) for a back pain I suffered. This person was also very nervous with what the trankimazines gave him a peace that he had never known before. He could relate to people without fear since he was relaxed. However, although he lived these relationships well, his interlocutors found a too slow pace to the conversations and ended up getting bored.
In addition, taking trankimazines made smoke more cigarettes.
It was difficult for him to stop his daily intake of this medication and he took it even if his back did not hurt. The relationship with his partner was also soporific because he was in "the clouds" all day.
One day he tried to stop taking the pills. Although he was a little more anxious in his relationships with others, he was a different person. He had an impressive verbal fluency and his relationships with his wife greatly improved. He also started exercising and smoking considerably less.
I had relapses. I always told him to look at the benefits it brought him DO NOT take those pills: I was more anxious, all right. But that could be controlled through relaxation exercises or meditation. In addition, that anxiety was stronger at first (caused by the absence of the pills) but if I was patient it would disappear.
He ended up becoming a very active person and learned to channel all your energy into more rewarding and healthier activities.
He associated pleasure with the fact of giving up the pills (better relationship with his wife, smoking less, better relationship with his friends) and pain if he continued taking them (deterioration of his social relationships, smoking more, sedentary life).
Thank you for being there and congratulations because you are part of a minority that seeks personal change.