In today's youth there are many people who do not want to be tied to the commitment of a serious relationship and prefer to have friends with rights. But what does it mean when a person tells you that they have a friend with rights? About what derechos is he talking and how does he intervene in the friendship they have? Can it create problems in the future? This type of friend is also called a friend with benefits.
The friend with rights
Having a friend with rights can be confusing, especially if over time you begin to have feelings towards the other person that seem to go beyond a simple friendship. This can be difficult from the moment it starts for some, especially when that friend you hardly know or know too much.
A friend with rights means that a friendship becomes an active part of your sex life without being a couple. Typically, a friend is someone you trust and a relationship that develops through shared stories, experiences, situations, circumstances, compatibility, or mutual interests. When you seek a friends-with-rights agreement with someone early on, you are forcing a new relationship with no real adjustment, with a label that you can misrepresent at any time. It takes a long time to cultivate a real friendship and it takes time and dedication to know if you can cultivate a friendship with rights with another person.
Rights mean sex
As we have mentioned above, those rights mean sex. What happens when sex is involved can always complicate things, even when both people try to maintain good communication and respect all the time. For a friends-with-rights agreement to really work, you need to be very clear about a few things.
You should have an idea of who else other people are sleeping with to know above all, that there are no dangers of sexual transmission and demand that the other person have safe sex, more than anything because your health depends on it. You should understand what feelings the other person evokes in you on an emotional level and also on a sexual level.
To maintain a healthy relationship of friends with rights, it means that you must communicate to the other person what is really expected and know where you are emotionally as that special friendship relationship evolves. Only in this way can misunderstandings and, above all, sentimental confusion be avoided.
Whether you feel comfortable and secure, or problems arise, if there is room to chat through the issues to maintain the friendship, even at the expense of the benefits, then you can have a good connection. There is a mutual investment in each other's well-being, because first you are friends.
Emotions always grow
But regardless of how the relationship is labeled, when you are sexually involved with someone you already care deeply about, emotions grow, as do trust, intimacy, connection, and familiarity. No matter what you want to call that connection, it can still be tricky for both of you.
You will have to make sure that you are still friends and that it is not getting too difficult to maintain that label. You will have to appreciate that the situation is not becoming unpleasant for you or the other person, or that you have simply gone from feeling friendship to feeling something more for the other person (and vice versa).
Problems can appear quickly
Problems can appear almost out of nowhere. If the person with whom you spend your sexual moments only wants to remain friends with rights because they actually have deeper feelings for you and accept it so as not to lose that connection with you, what will happen next? What if this form of connection is the only one you have to find intimacy? What if you hope that sex will lead you to love and that never happens? What would you think if the other person is afraid of endangering your friendship or the feelings are not reciprocal? The answer to all these questions is easy: problems will arise.
When any of these things happen, then the friend with rights is no longer a correct label because it does not really reflect what is happening. Because a relationship is mislabeled, it can make you feel less worthy of the feelings you are having.
If you hide what you feel then you will not be being true to yourself and you will start to feel bad about yourself and what is happening. If the other person suddenly walks away and you still have that label, you will have to pretend that you don't care because it is something that can happen.
It usually has emotional costs
It can become somewhat confusing when trying to create a friendship based on a sexual relationship where there are rules that must be invented on the fly depending on the personal circumstances of each one or what you want to achieve with the relationship. Nor is it healthy to force a friendship so that there is sex as a benefit because then, there is no friendship here. The territory can be too unfamiliar and feelings can change in many ways, being the label a real problem for the relationship that you have started by having sex.
Actually having friends with rights is possible since it refers to a sexual exploration where friendship is also consensual. It is also possible that you had a only sexual relationship with a person who little by little became a friendship because at the beginning of sex, you hardly knew him, it was only sexual attraction.
You don't want a committed relationship
Normally, having a friend with rights is a way of wanting to connect and have intimacy with another person as well as taking care of trust but without being ready to have a committed relationship as a couple. When it comes to this point, people often want to find out about emotions and circumstances on the fly, they feel freer and less controlled.
Would you be able to have a friend with rights or do you prefer to separate friendship and sex?