In this article we will explain what you can do to avoid being sad or depressed. The most important thing is that you have to get out of your comfort zone and apply disciplinedly the 10 tips that we are going to give you in this article.
1) Be curious
Achieving your goals starts from the basis of being attentive to life, to the things that happen and to your own person. This implies arranging and train a state of mind of curiosity, of permanent search, of wanting to admire and recognize things that deserve our attention. Then will come the "being aware", which implies realizing the need to deepen, to seek and establish guidelines that allow you to understand and integrate your emotions, thoughts, needs and experiences.
In the end, “being awake” will mean living each moment knowing who you are, what you need or would like to achieve to reach the next milestone, having established, as clearly as possible, a scale of values that allows you to be aware of your own inner essence and perceive and respect that of others.
As Anthony de Mello says in his book Inner self release, "Being awake means reaching a state in which you are the one who has changed to enter reality and now you see everything clear."
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2) Find out what you really want.
We are talking about real wishes, those for which we are willing to fight and put a lot of energy to achieve them. Something quite different from the romantic wish lists that almost all of us have made as a couple. Dreaming is wonderful and necessary, but when we are going to dedicate effort and energy to achieve something that we really want, it is worth stopping a moment before and being clear about what we are trying to achieve. Better yet, what are we going to achieve.
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3) Ask yourself how you will feel having it.
Agree; you want that which has a name and surname. Actually, do you really want it? To find out, you have to dive inside.
The good thing about all this if you are clear about it, is that, in reality, it does not matter how difficult your goal is. Viktor Frankl in his book "Man's Search for Meaning", reminds us of the importance of our will. In this way, when you decide to fight for something, you have to know that the logical thing is that you get it. So It is good that you are clear about what is going to happen and how you will feel when you achieve it.
The most important of all these arguments is happiness. Have you considered achieving a goal that helps you to be really happier?
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4) Value the consequences it will have on others.
You should care little about envy and what they will say, but you should consider if others are going to feel harmed by your success. It's about getting more, but not at the expense of others. Our freedom ends where our neighbor's begins. Also, there are so many great people by our side ...
If you have a minute, try but always with your heart, smile at them. The great thing about most really important things (like this one) is that the more you give, the more you have. A real deal! I recommend it to you.
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5) Create a methodology that is appropriate
Actually this is the easy part, at least for engineers, people who like methods and recipes. There are many methodologies to help you achieve your goals. Due to its simplicity and forcefulness, perhaps the most recommended is the GROW, whose acronyms refer to the four steps of the system on which it is based: Goal (goal or objective); Reality (current reality in which one is, the world in which we now move); Options (analyze the different options that are presented to us to achieve the desired objective), and Wrapup or Will (conclusion and willpower). Here in this last stage is where the action plan to achieve the objective is defined, specifying how to act to overcome the obstacles that will normally appear along the way.
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6) Identify what you can oppose
It has a lot to do with the R of the GROW method.
In the same way that it is good to think of others to respect them, it is equally important to think of others to not let ourselves be bullied or trampled on our rights. I'm talking about our assertive rights.
Two brief reflections on the matter: one, that sometimes our main enemy and limiter are ourselves, denying ourselves the right to achieve what we want, and two, that sometimes the enemy is not others either, but our image of others, which moves us to imagine them worse or more threatening than they really are. This erroneous belief will limit us and take energy away from our purpose. If you have a bit, give the Wrong beliefs that made Dr. Albert Ellis famous (and rightly so).
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7) Focus and focus for action
Focus on what you have to do, be practical, get to the point and avoid detours, waste of time and energy. What things all at the same time!
Actually the message is as simple as it is forceful: if you wear, you wear. Eliminate distractions, stop nonsense. If you want me to tell you specific things about it, I can give you some clues:
* Focus on what you need to do. There are tools that will help you, such as circles of concern and influence or the conscious act of focusing on what is productive. It is very important to know how to simplify, which is a real tool, which consists of prioritizing and creating new habits or adopting facilitating routines.
* Focus on action. To help you adopt this habit, you can have different practical exercises, such as the fact of focusing on the task (focusing) or the technique of clearing a space.
* Organize your time. In order not to expand, I will only cite a few considerations in this regard. The first is the convenience of you doing some kind of exercise on the real distribution of the time you have available. The second is to make you aware of the time we lose by procrastinating and not addressing them at the time. This way it is possible to avoid that which sounds so bad and that now they call procrastination, which is a Spanish word that comes in the Dictionary of the Royal Academy and which means to defer or postpone.
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8) Trust yourself and your abilities
After the methodological part, it is important to return to what matters most: you.
We have talked about achieving goals that allow us to be happier. Ultimately everything is about the same thing, about fighting to be happy every day and in every act of our life.
The base that has to sustain our happiness as people begins with believing in oneself. To believe in yourself three requirements are needed: self-knowledge, self-acceptance and self-esteem.
The first two require a good deal of personal work of analysis, reflection, observation and maturity. Both are one of the two key components of emotional intelligence. But what about self-esteem? Although some may not believe it, loving is not easy. Loving yourself does not exclude loving others. I understand and accept that you have to love your neighbor as yourself, but do you love yourself? you take care of yourself? Honestly, even without knowing you personally, I think you should love and take care of yourself. The reason, if you need it, is simple: you have it in an advertising slogan that we now hear every day: "Because you deserve it and you know it."
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9) Let nothing discourage you
When you put on, you put on, and nothing but yourself will be able to stop you. I recommend that you do not lose heart in your attempt to be better and to be happier, because you deserve it and you know it.
I will tell you my own experience. More than twenty years ago I took on a great job. I considered myself very valuable (I deserved it!). The bad thing is that shortly after joining I realized my own limitations, which were more than I knew myself, especially when being aware of the extraordinary value of my colleagues. I was very overwhelmed and the stressful situation triggered a terrible muscle contracture in my neck.
My remedy was a mantra that I constantly repeated: "They will not be able to me". So I decided to fight and set the goal of improving many of my skills to be as competitive and as efficient as them without self-humiliation.
Perhaps I have not been able to explain that in my outburst there was only admiration for my colleagues. Sincere admiration, in addition to a lot of frustration and anger at my inability, but I did not want to resign myself to my felt helplessness. The key was not to give up and not to flail yourself, but to clearly identify the objective and go for it without failing.
For me it was the hand of a saint, and today, years and companies later, I still have a magnificent professional relationship with many of them. Hopefully something from my own experience can be of use to you as well.
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10) Always have a plan B
In case things get ugly or something goes wrong. If you are clear about it and put your mind to it, you will achieve your goal. As Richard Bach says in The bridge to infinity:
"You can achieve any goal you set for yourself, but, yes, you will have to pay the price because almost nothing is free."
In this regard, I have two observations: one, that you can, and two, that if it were the unlikely and unfortunate case that the elements turn against you, simply have an alternative plan prepared.
In that case, my first advice would be to assimilate it and mourn it (the duel, you know), do not give up and after drying your tears, leave smiling so that, having heard of your difficulties, your friends will rejoice for your attitude and your enemies will be annoyed because, you know it, the truth is that you can achieve everything you set your mind to. So go for it!