Something has bothered you considerably and you begin to lose control of yourself. Do you know this emotion, truth? It's anger anger, a wild horse that breaks into our minds. What can we do to tame it? In this article I show you 15 tips that can be useful to you.
But first we are going to see a video in which the Dalai Lama explains what he does to control anger.
The greatest exponent of Buddhism and Nobel Peace Prize winner also gets angry and in this video he explains what he does when he gets angry:
[You may be interested in "7 Relaxation Exercises and Techniques (to live quietly)"]
What can we do when we get angry?
1) Become aware of what is happening to you.
Stop thinking about what made you angry, what caused the anger, to try to focus on the emotion itself. You have to change your focus of attention.
Whatever has left the door open and a wild horse has entered. Don't focus for the moment on who has left the door open. Worry about the wild horse moment. Don't take your eye off it because it can wreak havoc.
2) Be patient, time heals everything.
You have to do an initial double effort to stop the emotion, although stopping it is not going to make it go away. You will have to learn to live for a few minutes, days or hours with that wild horse.
3) Find some use for emotion.
Once you have focused your attention on the emotion and have it mastered (although not eliminated) you can take advantage of it. What can you do when you are angry? Perhaps it is time to undertake some activity that requires a lot of energy: painting a room, going for a run, ... The energy that this emotion gives us should not be lost. Find some utility for it.
4) Analyze the cause of anger.
After having put the first tips into practice, a few hours will have passed since the fact that I caused the anger. It is time to analyze the causes of it: why did it make you feel bad? What can you do to change your perspective on such a fact?
5) Be aware that these emotions are part of life.
Life is not an easy and flat road. Sometimes it is dotted with big obstacles that make it more difficult. Being aware of this will make you integrate that anger within yourself in a less violent way. You know that these kinds of things are inevitable.
6) Healing happens through living life, being engaged and active.
Life goes on with millions of things in addition to the fact that made you angry. Do not let this emotion incapacitate you to continue living and enjoying life.
7) The cause of anger is not the fact but the interpretation of it.
Have you understood this part? It is important that you understand this because it will change your perspective on things. One said that the greatest enemy of one is ourselves. Life is a fight or competition against ourselves. Try to interpret the facts in a way that is more favorable to your mental health.
8) Exercise.
A great way to reduce stress is physical activity: use your anger as fuel for a healthier lifestyle.
Try various exercises and find out which ones are the most effective in calming your anger. Some people prefer aggressive sports, such as kickboxing or boxing, while other people prefer going out for a simple walk.
9) One of the keys is to distract the mind.
Focus your attention on a pleasant memory, escape to read a book or just watch your favorite series. It is not easy to distract the mind and tame the wild horse of anger, but focusing your attention elsewhere will help you tame it.
10) Find a safe haven.
We all have our "sanctuary" - a haven where we feel safe and where we can go to relax.
It can be your room or a certain place in nature. For example, I like to fish and I remember that when I was younger and wanted to avoid certain commitments with friends, I would go fishing 🙂
It doesn't matter where that place is. The only requirements are that it makes you feel calm and gives you energy. Sometimes all you need to calm down is go for a walk.
11) Wait a reasonable time before responding.
If there is something that has made you angry and does not need an immediate response, I advise you to wait until the next day to take action.
Surely, after having slept you will see the problem with different eyes and your answer will be much better.
12) Listen to relaxing music.
Create a playlist with songs that relax you. Lately I am recommending that you create a lot of playlists hehehe. On this article I recommended creating two other lists: one with videos that make you laugh and another with music that evokes good memories.
13) Make a list.
I also recommend always making lists hehehe ... you should have a notebook dedicated exclusively to creating lists
In this case, make a list of all the things, people, and situations that make you angry. You have to be as specific and detailed as possible, and then rate each item from one to five, where 1 equals "Annoying" and 5 equals "Very Enraged." Next, determine if you can work on lowering the numbering of any of those things that bother you so much (the idea is to end up with scores = zero).
This list is a way to become aware of all those things that bother you.
Do everything you can to eliminate what infuriates you, no matter how long it takes ... but work on it every day. Your physical and mental health is at stake.
14) Have healthy lifestyle habits.
Avoid things like caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Get more sleep and exercise regularly. Eat healthier.
It is proven that having a healthy lifestyle is a good stress reducer and therefore your anger will be reduced.
15) Do relaxing activities.
We have already talked about exercising but there are many other things you can do to relax. Read a good book, go fishing (this works for me), practice yoga,…
You have to find some activity that relaxes you. What do you like to do the most? It relax you?
Reconnect with what you like to do. Doing what you like will make you feel more satisfied. If it is an activity that is good for your mind, you will feel fulfilled and your anger will decrease.
Can you think of any ideas we can do to control our anger? Leave your comment 🙂
Hi! Well as any couple we argue but what makes me most angry and fills me with fury is when my partner tells me to leave the house that makes me very angry to the point of breaking my cell phone. Please advise me
ami ma calm a little listen to mucica
distract your mind and listen to your favorite music
I don't calm down
Calm down
Cool pretty
The tips are very interesting and useful, I will try to follow them, sometimes anger loses me and I think it paralyzes me, I hope to get out of it with these tips
if you take advantage of them they are interesting
It bothers me a lot when I am helping my partner to work and he always tells me that he is hungry and tells me to make food for him and his employees.It bothers me because it is not my obligation to make him food for anyone but him and me even though he seems selfish.
Go old machismo. Surely his mother did that or something similar and thinks that his wife by definition HAS to do that, period. I would tell him clearly: a couple of equals. If you do it to him, it is understood that you do it to you too, right? If not, you are getting him badly accustomed and the day you complain he will not understand anything. Stop him and if he doesn't understand your reasoning ... bad.
It's no use to me when I'm angry
I do not use anything when I am angry it does not relax me or calm me at all
To run. Try it
I get angry very quickly more when they tell me something that I don't like
And how do you solve it?
I get very angry when someone who has no idea of the events says something unfair to me. But he is your boss
How about killing with knives, and many knives, the person who treated us badly? I would do it if it weren't that I'm going to regret it later. I am already the day after my anger, and it is not just anger, it is pain in the soul, it is feeling that I am falling into an abyss, it is wanting to die now. That of not getting angry because it would lower my defenses does not help me if I am feeling that I want to die and even thinking about suicide. In the end, the only thing that remains in the background, is the desire for revenge, is to think that if I wait, one day I will be able to tell this person when he is dying: I hope you are suffering a lot and go to hell to suffer forever » . That person is my father, an abandoned father, who made my mother and many more suffer, so much that someone threatened to kill him.
Johnny-123