Ukugxeka kuyinto ekhoyo kuluntu namhlanje, kodwa kuyimfuneko ukuyichonga ukuthintela ukutyhefiswa ziingcinga zakho. Umntu onekratshi uya kuhlala eyazi into amakayithethe xa abanye kufuneka besombulule ingxaki, kodwa abayi kuba nakho ukuphakamisa umnwe. Bahlala bengabantu abahlekisayo abazama ukuzibonakalisa bengqondo iphakamileyo kunabanye abantu.
Ngokwenyani bayakufihla ukuswela kwabo imigaqo yokuziphatha okanye imigaqo yokuziphatha esekwe ekuziphatheni kwabo. Bazama ukukhohlisa kwaye bakufumanise kunzima ukuvuma ukuba bayaphazama. Basebenzisa ukukrakra kunye noburharha obumnyama ukuphepha Iziphumo zokuziphatha kwabo, ubuncinci kwixesha elifutshane.
Iingozi zokugxeka
Uphononongo luka-2009 olupapashwe kwi-ahajournals.org, lwalandelwa ngaphezulu kwabafazi abangama-97.000 kwaye lwabonisa ukuba abasetyhini ababenethemba ngakumbi banamazinga asezantsi esifo sentliziyo, ukusweleka okunxulumene nomhlaza, kwaye ekugqibeleni, ukusweleka okuncinci. Ngokuchaseneyo, Abasetyhini abanezona zinto zingenathemba kunye nokugxeka banamazinga aphezulu ezi zigulo kunye nokufa. Xa sicinga ukuba ubutshaba kwaye ukungakhathaleli ziimeko ezisongela ubomi, injongo yokungabi noxinzelelo kubaluleke ngakumbi.
Ukugxeka yinxalenye yokuzikhusela esiyithathayo ukuze sizikhusele. Ihlala ikhutshwa xa siziva senzakele okanye sinomsindo malunga nento ethile, kwaye endaweni yokujongana ngqo nezo mvakalelo, siyazivumela ukuba zibuthathaka kwaye zigqwethe umbono wokwenene wezinto. Xa siba nentembelo kwinto ethile, sinokuthi ngokuthe ngcembe siqale ukutshisa i-firecracker fuse. Inokujika isuke kwinto ekucaphukisayo kancinci ukuba uqale ngokuqhubeka nokuba nesimo sengqondo esikhohlakeleyo ... kwayeUkhanyisa i-fuse kwaye umgubo uphela uqhuma.
Isichazi-magama siyenza icace intsingiselo yaso: "Isimo sengqondo somntu olala ngesibindi kwaye akhusele okanye enze ngendlela engenazintloni, engenazintloni kunye nokunganyaniseki into efanele ukwamkelwa ngokubanzi."
Kuqala nini ukugxeka
Ukugxeka kuhlala kuvela xa iimvakalelo ezimbi okanye iimbono esinazo ngathi zijolise kubantu abasingqongileyo. Uninzi lweemvakalelo zokuthandabuza zivela xa siziva sisengozini kunye / okanye nokuzithemba okuphantsi kwaye ngokungazi sifuna ukuzikhusela. Ngexesha apho siziva sisesichengeni kwaye sidimazekile, kunokwenzeka ukuba sisabele ngokuzenza lukhuni kwaye sizikhusele, nokuba ngaba yinto nje yokwenyani.
Ukwanda kokuchaphazeleka kukugxeka kunokuba ngumqondiso oqinisekileyo wokuba sigxile kuthi, kukuzingca kakhulu. Xa singena kule meko yengqondo, sihlala sibabona abo basingqongileyo ngesihluzi esifanayo, kodwa enyanisweni kuyazibona ngathi siqikelela. Kufana nelizwi elingaphakathi eligxeka kakhulu.
Unokuzigweba ngokuqatha kodwa uvakalise ukuba umgxeki wangaphakathi kubantu abakungqongileyo. Mhlawumbi uqala ukubona umntu omthandayo kuphela ngenxa yeziphene zakhe ngaphandle kokuba nemfesane kwimizabalazo yabo yangaphakathi, umzekelo.
Kuba isimo sengqondo sokuthandabuza nesokukrokrela senza into engacacanga apho sijonga khona okusingqongileyo, xa sikule meko, sihlala siphoswa luvuyo ebomini. Singena "kuthi ngokuchaseneyo nabo" isimo sengqondo esisityhalela umntu othile okanye iqela elithile. Xa sisenza oku, kubalulekile ukuzibuza, 'Yimbono kabani le? Ngaba le yindlela endivakalelwa ngayo ngenene, okanye ingaba ndiyazibaxa ngenxa yeemvakalelo zam zakudala? "
Olu nxibelelwano alusoloko kulula ukwenza, kodwa rhoqo, isimo sethu sengqondo sokugxeka sibonisa abo banempembelelo kwixesha elidlulileyo. Isimo sokugxeka esichaphazeleka kubo kwasekuqaleni ebomini, nokuba sijolise kuthi okanye kwabanye abantu, sinokuyila indlela esibajonga ngayo abantu njengokuba sikhula. Iziganeko ezenza ukuba siziva sisesichengeni, senzakele, okanye sinomsindo zihlala zibangela ezi zinto mdala kwaye zihlala zikhohlakele. Njengabantu abadala, Luxanduva lwethu ukwahlula ezi zimo zethu kwinto yethu kwaye sahlule kwiimpembelelo zokuqala ezonakalisayo, ukuze singenzi monakalo kwabanye, okanye nakwethu.
Ukuba nethemba yinto efanelekileyo yokubheja
Iimvakalelo ezintle zisenza somelele ngakumbi xa sijamelene neemeko ezimbi. Ke imibuzo omele uzibuze yona yile: "Kutheni ungafuni eyona nto ilungileyo ebantwini?", "Kutheni le nto sizenza ukuba sibandezeleke ngenxa yokusilela kwabanye?", "Singazibeka ecaleni njani izimvo zokugxeka kunye nokutshabalalisa nokugxeka Isimo esinokusikhokelela ekwehleni? "
Ukuphepha ukugxeka akuthethi ukuthintela iimvakalelo abazivayo. Ayisiyo eyokuxoka ngendalo esingqongileyo. Endaweni yoko, imalunga nokunciphisa ukubandezeleka kwethu ngokujongana neemvakalelo ngokuthe ngqo ngaphandle kokuzivumela ukuba zifake umbala kwilensi esijonga ngayo umhlaba. Qonda iimvakalelo zakho Kwaye ukufumana izisombululo ukuba zisenza sizive kakubi yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuphepha ukugxeka kunye nokuba nobudlelwane obusempilweni nesiqu sakho kunye nabanye. Kubalulekile ukuba siziqonde iimvakalelo zethu kwaye sizivumele ukuba sizive ngokupheleleyo. Emva koko sinokugqiba ukuba sifuna ukwenza njani.
Endaweni yokuyeka ukugxeka okanye ukuhleba ngomntu esivakalelwa kukuba ucatshukiswa, sinokucinga ngento ebangela ukuba siphendule ngendlela egxekayo. Ngaba sihlasela ukuhlaselwa kwethu? Ngaba sineentlungu okanye umsindo? Emva koko ingumbono olungileyo ukuthetha nomnye umntu ngezo mvakalelo, okanye ubuncinci samkele iimvakalelo kuthi. Ukuba ubeka icicnicism ecaleni, awuyi kuwonakalisa amava akho.
Xa sikwazi ukuziva sikhuselekile ngaphakathi kwethu, singakwazi ukubonisa uvelwano kwabanye ngaphandle kokuwela kwityhefu yokugxeka. Singaqala ngokwamkela ukuba wonke umntu uyasokola. Rhoqo umntu xa esenza into esivisa ubuhlungu, wenza into ngokuzikhusela azenzakalise. Abanye abantu banokuba neempawu ezimbi kunabanye, kodwa bonke baneentsilelo.
Bonisa imfesane kwabanye kunye nawe
La ububele kufuna indibaniselwano eyodwa yokwamkela ukuba ngamnye wethu uneengqondo ezicinga ngokwahlukileyo, ngeli lixa siqonda ukuba sonke sikwisikhephe esinye, ukuba sonke senzakele ngendlela yethu. Ukulwa nokugxeka ngokusivumela ukuba sizive sinomsindo, iintlungu, okanye unxunguphalo ngaphandle kokuzisa ezi mvakalelo kwindawo emnyama esilimaza thina kunye nabo basondeleyo kuthi ngendlela emnyama.
Wena yingcinga yakho kwaye uyila ilizwe ohlala kulo. Ukuba uhlakulela imfesane endaweni yokugxeka, uya kuziva ungcono kwaye uphile ngakumbi. Uya kuqala ukuziva usondele kubantu abasondeleyo kuwe kwaye uya kuziva wonelisekile ngawe kunye nobomi obukhokelayo. Isimo sengqondo esitshabalalisayo siya kuba yinto yexesha elidlulileyo.