Ukuzilolonga oku-7 ukuphucula ukunqongophala kovelwano kwaye yeyiphi eyona isebenzayo

Ubomi ngamanye amaxesha bunokuba noxinzelelo kangangokuba busithintele ekugxileni kwiingxaki zabanye abantu. Sizijonga nje silibale ngeemvakalelo neemvakalelo zabanye.

Namhlanje siza kubona uthotho lwemisebenzi yokuphucula uvelwano lwethu kodwa ngaphambi koko siza kubona ividiyo enesihloko Kuthekani ukuba sonke sinovelwano ngakumbi?

Ividiyo yonke ibekwe esibhedlele apho abantu abaninzi abangazaniyo badlula bengakhange bajonge. Nangona kunjalo, wonke umntu unebali lomntu elibenza bonwabe okanye bakhathazeke. Ungathini ukuba besinamandla okwazi ukuba ucinga ntoni lo mntu wasemzini?

Inkcazo yovelwano

Abantu abaninzi abayazi intsingiselo yovelwano. Kuthetha, ngohlobo lwayo olulula, ukwazi iimvakalelo zabanye abantu kunye neemvakalelo. Yeyona nto iphambili kubukrelekrele bemvakalelo, ikhonkco phakathi kwakho nabanye abantu.

UDaniel Goleman, umbhali wale ncwadi «Ubukrelekrele bemvakalelo», uvelwano lusisiseko sokuqonda iimvakalelo zabanye. Kwakhona, nangona kunjalo, uchaza ukuba, kwinqanaba elinzulu, Imalunga nokuchaza, ukuqonda kunye nokuphendula kwinkxalabo kunye neemfuno zabanye abantu.

Ezinye izithetha-ntonye zovelwano inokuba kukudibana, ukuxabisa, imfesane, ubungcwele, ubudlelwane, uvelwano, ubushushu, umthendeleko, ukuqonda, ukwamkelwa okanye ukuba kwisandi.

Abanye abantu banoluvo lokuba uvelwano lufuna "idreyini" yeemvakalelo abakhetha ukuyigcina ukuze bajongane nobunzima babo. Kwaye kuyaqondakala kuthathelwa ingqalelo umhlaba esihlala kuwo, apho yonke into ihamba ngokukhawuleza kwaye neemfuno zinzima. Kuyinyani ukuba kunjalo Kubalulekile ukuyazi imida yethu kwaye uzikhathalele.

Nangona kunjalo, uvelwano aluthethi ukuzilibala. Ukuziqhelanisa nayo kunezibonelelo ezininzi ngakumbi kunokuba ucinga enye kwaye kunokuba yinyama yenyani yeemvakalelo ezithile ezingalunganga ezinjengokoyika kunye nomsindo.

Ukuba novelwano akuthethi ukusebenzisa ukuchukumisa kunye nokusondela emzimbeni ngendlela engenayo ngaphandle kokuthatha enye ingqalelo. Ngelixa ukusetyenziswa kwebala, njengokuwola, kunokunyusa amanqanaba e-oxytocin kunye nokunciphisa ukungonwabi, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba kukho iyantlukwano kwinkcubeko kunye nokwahluka komntu ngamnye kwintlonipho. Kwaye kukuba abantu abaninzi baveza ezabo iimvakalelo okanye izinto abazilindeleyo kwelinye ngendlela engafaniyo. Oko kukuthi, abahlukanisi phakathi kweemfuno zabo kunye nezomnye.

Iingcebiso ezi-6 zokuphucula uvelwano

Uluntu lwanamhlanje alunovelwano kunokuba lwalunjalo kumashumi ambalwa eminyaka eyadlulayo. Iyangqinelana Isifundo Ukusuka kwiDyunivesithi yaseMichigan ebonakalise ukuba abafundi beekholeji banamhlanje babonisa u-40% uvelwano oluncinci xa kuthelekiswa nabafundi kwiminyaka ye-1980 kunye neye-1990.

1) Funda ngakumbi.

Uphononongo luka-2013 olupapashwe kwiphephancwadi elidumileyo inzululwazi ugqibe kwelokuba ukufunda kuphucula ubuchule obubizwa ngokuba ithiyori yengqondo, esisiseko Uvelwano lokuqonda: ukukwazi ukwazi ukuba abanye bacinga ntoni, bakholelwa okanye bafuna ntoni. Oku kusebenza kakuhle kwiincwadi ezingezizo.

Ukufunda iincwadi kunye nokubukela iimovie yindlela entle yokuzibeka ezicathulweni zomnye umntu.

2) Shiya iinkolelo ezisisiseko kunye nekhethe ecaleni.

Isithintelo esibalulekileyo ekuphuhliseni uvelwano olufanelekileyo kukucinga okukhoyo kunye nokucalula esinako ngabanye. Ngamanye amaxesha siye sibagwebe abanye ngokujonga inkangeleko yabo okanye indlela abathetha ngayo. Kwaye amaxesha amaninzi asilunganga.

Wazi ntoni kanye kanye ngobomi, umfazi ohambisa iposi? Ithini le ndoda ikwiqhina elineengcinga zekofu? Umlinganiso olungileyo kwimpilo elungileyo yokuqonda ncokola nomntu ongamaziyo nokuba kukanye ngeveki kwaye uzame ukuyenza ukuba igqithe kwintetho engenamsebenzi.

3) Yenza umsebenzi othile wokuzithandela.

Abaphandi kwiSikolo sezoQoqosho saseLondon bafumanise ukuba abantu abazinikelayo bayavuya. Ukuzithandela kwandisa uvelwano kunye novelwano kwonyusa ulwaneliseko lobomi. Ubudlelwane kwezentlalo benziwa nabo bangaphandle kwesangqa sentlalo. Ukuphucula ubomi babanye kusinceda sonwabe.

Izenzo ezinomdla zonyusa uvelwano.

4) Ukuphuhlisa imfesane ngokucamngca.

Sabemos ukuba Ukucamngca kuluncedoKodwa ukucamngca ngokukodwa ekukhuliseni uvelwano kusinceda ukuba sibe ngabantu abanovelwano ngakumbi.

Isifundo esivela kwiYunivesithi yaseWisconsin-Madison ibonise ukuba ngokucamngca ngemfesane ingqondo yethu inokutshintsha unxibelelwano lwe-neural olusenza sibe novelwano ngakumbi.

Ukucamngca ngemfesane luhlobo lokucamngca olusinceda sigxile kwiingcinga zethu ekunqweneleni impilo-ntle yabanye.

5) Hlakulela umdla.

Omnye wemibuzo oyithandayo kubantwana yile "Ngoba?". Ukuba unencoko nomntwana, uya kuhlala ekuphosa lo mbuzo.

Abantwana badume ngokufuna ukwazi, Kodwa njengoko bekhula, abantwana abaninzi bafundiswa ukuba bayeke ukubuza imibuzo emininzi. Kuyinyani ukuba imibuzo emininzi ecinezelayo inokujika ibe yimibuzo engapheliyo, kodwa ukuba sinomonde wokuyiphendula ngobubele, siya kuba sinceda ukwandisa amanqanaba ovelwano.

Ijika loo nto Abantu abanovelwano banomdla kakhulu ngabantu abanxibelelana nabo. Okukhona siphuhlisa ukwazi kwethu, kokukhona siya kwandisa uthungelwano lwethu lwabazana kwaye, ngokwenza njalo, siya kufumana umbono opheleleyo ngabo.

Yiba nomdla ngabantu odibana nabo. Okukhona ufunda ngendlela abanye abantu abacinga ngayo nabaphila ngayo, kokukhona uya kuba nezixhobo ezininzi zokukhulisa uvelwano.

Gcina abantu kwindlela engaphantsi, esitratweni, kwigumbi lokulinda, njl. kwaye ucinge ukuba baziva njani okanye bacinga ntoni.

6) Yiba ngumphulaphuli okhutheleyo.

Le yeyona ndlela isebenzayo yokuphucula uvelwano.

Uvelwano lufuna ukuba sihlakulele uphawu lokuphulaphula. Uninzi lwabantu lucinga ngendlela abaza kuphendula ngayo ngelixa omnye umntu esathetha. Ukumamela ngokukuko kuthetha ukugxila ngokupheleleyo kwinto ethethwa ngomnye umntu.

Ukuziqhelanisa noku, jolisa kuphela kwinto ethethwa ngomnye umntu. Ukuba uwenza kakuhle lo msebenzi, uya kuba nakho ukufumana ulwazi olongezelelekileyo kwaye Uyakwazi ukuqinisa ubuhlobo bakho nomnye umntu.

Nika ingqalelo kunxibelelwano lomlomo nolungathethiyo kwaye uzame ukuzibeka kwezi zihlangu zomnye umntu, ngaphandle kokugweba. Ukumamela kuthetha ukubakho, ungacingi malunga nento oza kuyipheka ebusuku. Ukuqhagamshelana kwamehlo kunye nokubonisa kwelinye ukuba uyayiqonda into ayithethayo kubaluleke kakhulu.

Njengokuba izakhono zakho zokumamela zisanda, abantu baya kutsalela ngakumbi kuwe kwaye baya kukuxelela izinto ezisenyongweni.

7) Ukuzazi.

Ukuba awuzazi ezakho iimvakalelo, ngekhe ukwazi ukuthatha iimvakalelo zabanye. Ukuziqhelanisa nengqondo kuya kukunceda uhlale unxibelelana neemvakalelo zakho zangaphakathi kunye namava.

Zithini izibonelelo zokusebenzisa uvelwano?

• Isivumela ukuba sikwazi ukubona ngcono iimvakalelo neemvakalelo zabanye.
• Izakhono zokujonga ezinjalo ziphucula unxibelelwano. Ikwasinceda ukuba sibe nemfesane ngakumbi kwaye sibe bhetyebhetye kwindlela esiwajonga ngayo amava abanye.
• Ngokuphucula unxibelelwano, ubudlelwane bethu buye baneliseka kwaye busempilweni.
• Xa sigcina ubudlelwane obunempilo nobonelisayo, ukuzithemba kwethu kuyenyuka.
• Njengoko ukuzithemba kwethu kuphucula, kunokwenzeka ukuba siziva sinamandla kwaye sinomoya owaneleyo wokuzenza ukuba sifumaneke kwabanye.
• Xa sifumaneka komnye, sele sinceda. Ukongeza, ubudlelwane buyaqiniswa ngenxa yethemba elenziweyo.
• Xa sinceda, amandla ethu okusebenza kunye nokuzithemba kwethu kuyakhuthazeka.
• Xa imeko yethu yokusebenza kakuhle kunye nokuzithemba kwethu kuphucuka, amathuba okuphumelela ebomini bethu ayonyuka njengoko siziva sizithembe ngakumbi ngathi nangamandla.