Ukugxeka kukhona emphakathini namuhla, kepha kuyadingeka ukuyikhomba ukugwema ukufakwa ubuthi ngemicabango yakho. Umuntu ongenangqondo uyohlale azi ukuthi kufanele athini lapho abanye kufanele baxazulule inkinga, kepha ngeke bakwazi ukuphakamisa umunwe ngempela. Ngokuvamile bangabantu ababhuqayo abazama ukuzibonakalisa bephakeme ngokwengqondo kunabanye abantu.
Empeleni bafihla ukuntuleka kwabo kwesisekelo sokuziphatha noma sokuziphatha lapho kuziphatha khona kusekelwe. Bazama ukukhohlisa futhi bakuthole kunzima ukuvuma ukuthi banephutha. Basebenzisa ukubhuqa kanye namahlaya amnyama ukugwema imiphumela yokuziphatha kwabo, okungenani esikhathini esifushane.
Ubungozi bokugxeka
Ucwaningo lwango-2009 olushicilelwe ku-ahajournals.org, lulandele abesifazane abangaphezu kuka-97.000 futhi lwabonisa ukuthi abesifazane ababenethemba elikhulu babenezibalo eziphansi zesifo senhliziyo, ukufa okuhlobene nomdlavuza, futhi ekugcineni, nokufa okuncane. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abesifazane abanobuntu obungenathemba futhi obungenangqondo babenezinga eliphakeme lalezi zifo nokufa. Lapho sicabanga ukuthi inzondo nokunganaki kuyizimo ezisongela impilo, umgomo wokungabi nandaba ubaluleke kakhulu.
Ukugxeka kuyingxenye yesimo sokuzivikela esisithathayo ukuze sizivikele. Imvamisa idalwa lapho sizwa ubuhlungu noma sithukuthele ngokuthile, futhi esikhundleni sokubhekana ngqo naleyo mizwa, siyayivumela ukuba yenze buthaka futhi ihlanekezele umbono wangempela wezinto. Lapho siqala ukungabaza okuthile, singaqala ukushisa kancane kancane i-firecracker fuse. Ingaguquka isuke kokuthile okukucasula kancane iqale ukuba nesimo sengqondo sobutha ngokuqhubekayo ... futhiUkhanyisa i-fuse bese i-powder igcina iqhuma.
Isichazamazwi senza umqondo waso ucace: "Isimo somuntu oqamba amanga avuze noma avikele noma enze ngendlela engenamahloni, engenamahloni nokungathembeki into efanele ukwamukelwa jikelele."
Kuvela nini ukucwasa
Ukugxeka kuvame ukuvela lapho imizwa emibi noma imibono esinayo ngathi iqondiswe kubantu abasizungezile. Imizwa eminingi yokungaqiniseki ivela lapho sizizwa sisengozini futhi / noma sinokuzethemba okuphansi futhi ngokungazi sifuna ukuzivikela. Ezikhathini lapho sizizwa sengozini futhi sidangele, sinamathuba amaningi okusabela ngokuzenza lukhuni nangokuzivikela, noma ngabe kuyisici nje sokuqala.
Ukuba sengozini enkulu yokugxeka kungaba uphawu oluqinisekile lokuthi sigxile kithina, sizicabangela ngokweqile. Lapho singena kulesi simo somqondo, imvamisa sibona labo abasizungezile ngesihlungi esifanayo esibucayi, kepha empeleni ukuzibona sikwenza lokho. Kufana nezwi elingaphakathi eligxeka ngokweqile.
Ungazigweba ngokweqile kepha uveza lowo mgxeki wangaphakathi kubantu abakuzungezile. Mhlawumbe uqala ukubona umuntu omthandayo kuphela ngenxa yeziphambeko zakhe ngaphandle kokuzwelana nemizabalazo yakhe yangaphakathi, isibonelo.
Ngoba ukucabanga okusolisayo nokusolisayo kudala isihlungi esibi lapho sibheka khona okusizungezile, lapho sikulesi simo, sithambekele ekuphuthelweni yinjabulo yempilo. Sizitika ngomqondo wokuthi "thina sibaqhathanisa nabo" osisunduzela kumuntu noma eqenjini elithile. Lapho senza lokhu, kubalulekile ukuzibuza, 'Umbono kabani? Ingabe lena yindlela engizizwa ngayo ngempela, noma ngabe ngenza ngokweqile ngokususelwa kwimizwa yakudala yangesikhathi esidlule? "
Lokhu kuxhumana akulula ukwenza ngaso sonke isikhathi, kepha imvamisa, izimo zethu zokugxeka zilingisa lezo zabantu abanethonya bakudala. Isimo sengqondo esibucayi esibhekene naso sisencane empilweni, noma ngabe sibhekiswe kithi noma kwabanye abantu, singakha indlela esibheka ngayo abantu njengoba sikhula. Imicimbi esenza sizizwe sengozini, silimele, noma sithukuthele imvamisa idala lokhu kusabela okudala futhi kuvame ukungabaza. Njengabantu abadala, kungumsebenzi wethu ukuhlukanisa lezi zimo zethu nezokwehlukanisa namathonya okuqala abhubhisayo, ukuze singenzi umonakalo ongokomzwelo kwabanye, noma kithina uqobo.
Ukuba nombono oqondile kubheja okuphephile
Imizwa emihle empeleni isenza sikwazi ukubekezela lapho sibhekene nezimo ezingezinhle. Ngakho-ke imibuzo okufanele uzibuze yona yilena: "Kungani ungafuni okungcono kubantu?", "Kungani sizenza ukuthi sihlupheke ngenxa yokwehluleka kwabanye?", "Singawabeka kanjani eceleni amaphuzu okubuka isimo sengqondo sokugxeka nokubhubhisa nesigxekayo lokho kusiholela ekwehleni okuphansi? "
Ukugwema ukugxeka akusho ukugwema imizwa abayizwayo. Akukona okokuqamba amanga ngemvelo. Esikhundleni salokho, kumayelana nokudambisa ukuhlupheka kwethu ngokubhekana nemizwa ngqo ngaphandle kokuyivumela ukuthi ifake imibala kulensi esibuka ngayo umhlaba. Qondisisa imizwa yakho Futhi ukuthola izixazululo uma zisizwisa kabi kuyindlela engcono yokugwema ukungabaza lutho futhi sibe nobudlelwano obuhle nawe kanye nabanye. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela imizwa yethu futhi sizivumele siyizwe ngokugcwele. Ngemuva kwalokho singanquma ukuthi sifuna ukwenza kanjani.
Esikhundleni sokuyeka imibono ebucayi noma ukuhleba ngomuntu esizizwa sicasulwa, singacabanga ngalokho okudala ukusabela kwethu kokungabaza. Ngabe sikhombisa ukuhlaselwa kwethu uqobo? Ingabe sizwa ubuhlungu noma intukuthelo? Ngemuva kwalokho kuwumqondo omuhle ukukhuluma nomunye umuntu ngaleyo mizwa, noma okungenani uyazise imizwa ebhekiswe kithi uqobo. Uma ubeka ukucabanga eceleni, ngeke ulimaze ulwazi lwakho.
Lapho sikwazi ukuzizwa siphephile futhi sivikelekile kithina, singakwazi ukuveza kangcono uzwelo lwethu kwabanye ngaphandle kokuwela kubuthi bokugxeka. Singaqala ngokwamukela ukuthi wonke umuntu uyalwa. Imvamisa lapho umuntu enza okuthile okusilimazayo, wenza esendaweni evikelayo futhi azilimaze. Abanye abantu bangaba nezici ezimbi kakhulu kunabanye, kepha bonke banamaphutha.
Khombisa ububele kwabanye nakwakho
La uzwela kudinga inhlanganisela eyingqayizivele yokwamukela ukuthi ngamunye wethu unezingqondo ezicabanga ngokwehlukile, ebe futhi eqonda ukuthi sonke sisemkhunjini ofanayo, ukuthi sonke silimele ngendlela yethu. Ukulwa nokugxeka ngokusivumela ukuthi sizwe ulaka lwethu, ubuhlungu, noma ukukhungatheka ngaphandle kokuletha le mizwa endaweni emnyama esilimaza thina nalabo abasondelene nathi ngendlela emnyama.
Ungumcabango wakho futhi udala umhlaba ohlala kuwo. Uma uhlakulela uzwela esikhundleni sokugxeka, uzozizwa ungcono futhi uphile ngokugcwele. Uzoqala ukuzizwa usondelene nabantu osondelene nabo futhi uzozizwa waneliseke kakhulu ngawe nangempilo oyiphilayo. Isimo sengqondo esonakalisayo siyoba yinto yesikhathi esidlule.