QUERY:
Hi, I'm 28 years old and I don't have time to socialize because my job is very demanding. I've tried things like joining a gym or going to dinner, but I still feel very lonely.
It is not a problem that she is very shy. I consider myself a person who has no problem when it comes to starting a conversation with someone and I have even gone on vacation alone on occasion.
I have had several relationships with boys but none of them have fulfilled me so much as to consider something serious with a view to the future.
I feel very lonely. At work, relationships are very superficial and when I go to the gym I cannot have a pleasant conversation with anyone.
The thing is, I'm starting to feel bad. I have never liked this situation, but lately it is affecting me more than usual.
I would like some advice.
Thank you.
ANSWER:
I would recommend that you keep going to the gym, mainly for your health and because something will keep your head busy. However, I would not limit myself to just going to the gym.
It may be that joining a sports activity such as Pilates, step, hiking club or something similar, it may help you to always see the same people and gradually build stronger relationships.
If your time allows it, you could also sign up for dance classes. Check out the video I recently posted on this blog.
Think that joining a dance academy is not limited exclusively to teaching and that's it. No. They also meet to go out there to dance. It is one of the most social activities that exist.
It would also be good for you to reflect on loneliness. Look at this video
It is a cliché to say that you have to have a more positive thought but the reality is that it is one of the ways to fight against sadness. Reflect on what we already have and for which we should be grateful.
This does not mean that you do not have to fight against that feeling that you have. What you have to do is not let it affect you so negatively.
I just ask you to be patient. In the end, if you continue with these good life habits, you will end up finding a person who truly fulfills you. Maybe when you least look for it is when it appears 😉
You should also ask yourself one thing. If what you have told us is negatively affecting you to such an extent that it interferes with your daily activities, consider going to your family doctor and telling him about your problem.
You also have to think that what happens to you is something common as the years go by. Friendships are "extended" either for family or professional reasons. What you don't have to lose is the hope of finding new friends. Now it costs more than when we were 14 years old. However, following the recommendations that I am writing here, these new friends will eventually arrive.
Don't get carried away by pessimism. Let time do its work. In the end you will meet someone who truly fulfills you.
I very much agree with this article, I also think that we should consider loneliness as something temporary and a space in which we can reflect, until we begin to meet new people in our lives.