Life can sometimes be so stressful that it prevents us from focusing on other people's problems. We only look at ourselves and forget about the feelings and emotions of others.
Today we are going to see a series of activities to improve our empathy but before that we are going to see a video titled What if we were all more empathetic?
The entire video is set in a hospital where dozens of people who do not know each other pass by without hardly looking at each other. However, everyone has a personal story that makes them happy or concerned. What if we had the power to know what that stranger we come across is thinking?
Definition of Empathy
Many people are unaware of the meaning of empathy. It means, in its simplest form, becoming aware of other people's feelings and emotions. It is a key element of emotional intelligence, the link between you and other people.
Daniel Goleman, author of the book «Emotional Intelligence», says that empathy is basically the ability to understand the emotions of others. He also, however, points out that, on a deeper level, it is about defining, understanding and reacting to other people's concerns and needs.
Some synonyms for empathy can be affinity, appreciation, compassion, piety, relationship, sympathy, warmth, communion, understanding, recognition or being in tune.
Some people have the idea that being empathetic requires an emotional "drain" that they prefer to save to face their own personal difficulties. And it's understandable considering the world we live in, where everything is going so fast and the demands are overwhelming. It is also true that it is important to know our limits and take care of yourself.
However, empathy does not imply forgetting oneself. Practicing it has many more benefits than one imagines and can be a true balm for certain negative emotions such as fear and anger.
Being empathetic does not mean using touch and physical closeness in an invasive way without taking the other into account. While the use of touch, such as a hug, can increase oxytocin levels and alleviate discomfort, it is important to note that there are cultural differences and individual differences to respect. And it is that many people project their own emotions or expectations on the other in an undifferentiated way. That is, they do not distinguish between their own needs and that of the other.
6 tips to improve empathy
Today's society is less empathetic than it was a few decades ago. Corroborates it A study from the University of Michigan which showed that today's college students show 40% less empathy compared to students in the 1980s and 1990s.
1) Read more.
A 2013 study published in the prestigious journal Science concluded that reading improves a skill called theory of mind, which is basically cognitive empathy: the ability to know what others think, believe or want. This works best in nonfiction books.
Reading books and watching movies is a great way to put yourself in someone else's shoes.
2) Leave stereotypes and prejudices aside.
An important barrier to developing good empathy is the stereotypes and prejudices we have about others. Sometimes we prejudge others based on their appearance or accent. And many times we are wrong.
What do you really know about life, the woman who delivers the mail? What is this man in a tie who is having a coffee thinking? A good measure for good empathic health is have a conversation with a stranger at least once a week and try to make it go beyond superficial talk.
3) Do some volunteer activity.
Researchers at the London School of Economics have found that people who volunteer are happier. Volunteering increases empathy and empathy increases life satisfaction. Social ties are created with those outside our immediate social circle. Improving the lives of others helps us to be happier.
Altruistic actions increase empathy.
4) Develop compassion through meditation.
We are aware that meditation is beneficialBut meditating specifically on developing compassion helps us to be more empathetic people.
A study from the University of Wisconsin-Madison showed that by meditating on compassion our brain can change the neural connections that make us more empathetic.
Meditation on compassion is a form of meditation that helps us focus our thoughts on desiring the well-being of others.
5) Cultivate curiosity.
One of the children's favorite questions is "Why?". If you have a conversation with a child, he will constantly throw this question at you.
Children are famous for their curiosity, But as they get older, many children are taught to stop asking so many questions. It is true that many pressing questions can turn into endless interrogation, but if we have the patience to answer them kindly, we will be helping to increase their levels of empathy.
It turns out that People who are highly empathetic are very curious about the people they interact with. The more we develop our own curiosities, the more we will expand our network of acquaintances and, in doing so, we will acquire a broader vision about them.
Be curious with the people you meet. The more you learn about how other people live and think, the more tools you will have at your disposal to develop empathy.
Observe people in the subway, on the street, in a waiting room, etc. and imagine what they are feeling or thinking.
6) Become an active listener.
This is the most effective technique for developing empathy.
Empathy requires that we cultivate the trait of active listening. Most people are thinking about how they are going to respond while the other person is still speaking. Active listening means being totally focused on what the other person is saying.
To practice this, focus only on what the other person has to say. If you do this task very well, you will be able to receive additional information and you can deepen your relationship with the other person.
Pay attention to both verbal and non-verbal communication and try to put yourself in the other's shoes, without judgment. Listening means being present, not be thinking about what you are going to cook at night. Both eye contact and reflecting to the other that you understand what you are communicating is of the utmost importance.
As your active listening skills increase, people will become more and more attracted to you and they will tell you more intimate things.
7) Self-awareness.
If you are not aware of your own emotions, you will not be able to capture the emotions of others. Mindfulness practice will help you stay in touch with your inner emotions and experiences.
What are the benefits of practicing empathy?
- It allows us to better detect the emotions and feelings of others.
- Such observation skills improve communication. It also helps us to be more compassionate and flexible in how we view the experiences of others.
- By improving communication, our relationships become more satisfying and healthier.
- When we maintain satisfying and healthy relationships, our self-esteem rises.
- As our self-esteem improves, we are more likely to feel energized and spirited enough to make ourselves available to others.
- When we are available to the other, we are already helping. In addition, the relationship is strengthened thanks to the trust that is generated.
- When we help, our sense of efficacy and our self-concept are stimulated.
- When our sense of efficacy and our self-concept improve, the probability of success in our life increases as we feel more confident about ourselves and with more initiative.
Empathy is not limited to an altruistic, kind and one-sided act whose only beneficiary is the other recipient, but goes much further. It helps us and others to lead fuller and happier lives.
Moreover, the ability to empathize is an innate ability that although we have left it a little aside, you can train if we decide. And it is that the brain is naturally designed to be empathetic.
We have neurons called mirror neurons that allow us to connect with other people we observe. Some emotions such as guilt, shame, disgust, sadness, desire, fear, etc. they are experienced through their observation in third parties.
When you see a spider climb the arm of another person for example, you experience a chilling sensation even if it is not your arm. Similarly, when you watch a movie, you can experience the emotions of the characters as if it were happening to you. However, when we are absorbed in our worries, we forget what is happening around us.
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